


Blind Chess

by madradena



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Action/Adventure, Developing Relationship, Drama, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Manipulation, Relationship(s), Romance, Sexual Content, Trauma, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-04 14:51:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 88,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16348769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madradena/pseuds/madradena
Summary: Both Data and Emma have to face their lives prior to "You Can't Fight a Tidal Wave", in a mission that brings on board Data's mother and an old Admiral with selfish intentions. The mission is to establish relations to an isolated colony Emma used to live on and is led by her husband, Edmond. Meanwhile, Data has to fight for his right to have emotions, never being sure, where his old friend/foe, Dr. Maddox stands in that fight. - A long work in progress...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: None of TNG or any of its characters are mine, and I do not make money on writing this story.
> 
> Very happy to be here and give you the sequel I have promised for 'You can't fight a tidal wave'. As usual I'd like to remind you that I'm not a native speaker of English, you'll see this if in nothing else but punctuation. Sorry about whatever mistakes you find, I try my best. Please review, it's great to get feedback! (But please be gentle in your criticism, I'm a very sensitive person.)
> 
> Set after StarTrek - First Contact, and 'You can't fight a tidal wave'. If you haven't read Tidal wave, there might be stuff you might not understand at first, but overall, I'd say the plot itself should stand on its own feet.
> 
> A pretty long work in progress...

Data watched with an excited smile on his face as his mother materialized in the transporter. The tiny sparkling particles finally reintegrated into a solid form, and his mother smiled back at him with the same excitement.

"Data!" she beamed with joy.

"Mother!" he opened his arms and stepping down to him, she hugged him tightly. "Welcome aboard, Mother!" Data greeted her a little timidly giving her a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you!" she told him pulling away a little "Let me see you! Oh, you haven't changed one bit!" she took his face into her palms tenderly.

Data raised his eyebrows in mild surprise then tried to clarify her misconception: "As you might know too, Mother, my appearance does not change with the passage of time at the rate a human's appearance would. Therefore it would be peculiar, had I changed visibly in the 323 days that passed by since our last encounter." he explained with a serious expression.

Juliana chuckled "Well, I can see that it's not only your appearance that does not change with the passage of time! You still take everything literally! Oh, god, I'm so happy to see you!" she told him lovingly and gave him a peck on the cheek.

Data took a short moment to consider her words and just gave her a serene smile as a reply. She then stepped out of his arms and he picked her luggage up still on the transporter pad.

"I'll show you to your quarters." he told her motioning her out of the transporter room. Walking on the corridor he felt a little embarrassed so he decided to stick with polite small talk for the time being "Was you journey tiring?"

"Oh, a little, but don't worry about it. I may be an old lady, but I can manage with a few days of travelling at warp speed." Juliana waved his concern away.

"You're not old at all, Mother!" he protested surprised at her remark "The average lifespan of a human is well beyond 120 and you're only 70! Even taking the most objective perspective into consideration, you're only a little more than middle-aged." he explained with an encouraging smile.

Juliana studied him for a moment longer with a surprised squint of her eye then smiled delighted "Maybe I was wrong before. You did change, Data."

He stopped and cocked his head curiously "I did?"

"Yes. The way you talk. You use verbal contractions."

"Oh, that!" he nodded and as they started to walk again, he explained "Emma encouraged me to experiment with the less formal intricacies of the language. I have always been worried that whatever I want to say would not be clear enough for the listener - as Captain Picard once told me, I tend to babble. So I supposed speaking as formally as it is possible would facilitate better understanding on behalf of my peers. However, I came to see that this is not always the case. This was the reason behind me starting to use contractions, though I was fairly reluctant about it at first. Therefore I asked Emma to call my attention to the fact, if what I'm saying is not comprehensible. I might add, such a thing hasn't occurred yet."

"Well, that's very helpful of Emma." she nodded with a knowing smile.

"Yes." Data nodded too and went on raising his forefinger "She also told me that she can determine my mood from the way I speak."

"Oh, can she?"

"Yes. She says, if I'm feeling cheerful, I use more contractions. If I'm ...wound up - as she puts it - I speak more formally." he shook his head in amazement "It's really astonishing the things she is able to notice about me."

Juliana just gave him a really gratified smile. Then Data stopped again with a worried expression on his face "Am I talking too much about her? If so, please tell me! For instance, Geordi was very reluctant to call my attention to it, and he was really annoyed by the time he actually did."

She stroked his shoulder and arm lovingly "Data. I'm your mother. I'm happy for your happiness! When you spoke about her the first time in your subspace messages, I couldn't wait to meet her! Now finally I'll have the chance. Though you told me about her so many things already that I feel as if I've known her for a long time."

Data frowned thoughtfully as he replayed his last few messages in his head in less then 0.52 seconds... "Oh, so I did speak too much about her." he mumbled realizing it only now.

She patted his arm again "Just don't worry about it. I'm glad I can get to know the woman whom my son adores so much."

Data's lips curled up into a tiny smile and they stepped into the turbolift.

"Deck 15." he called then looked down at his mother again "Please tell me about yourself, Mother! How are you? Are you now fully settled in on Earth?"

"Yes, of course. It's over a year now since Pran died and almost a year since I moved back home. It was difficult at first, but being at the place where I was born helped eventually. And of course work also diverted my attention. Fortunately for a geologist, Sicily is a tectonically active area so I have quite a lot of work to do. That is of course besides the occasional missions I go on for Starfleet."

"Do you know much about your assignment here?"

"No, actually. I was offered to come aboard the Enterprise, and I grabbed at the opportunity to be with my son!" she replied taking him by the hand with such a loving expression that Data thought, if he had the ability, he would surely have blushed. She went on after a moment, looking up at him with a serious frown "As a matter of fact, if I wanted to know more about the assignment it wouldn't have been possible. Most of the details are classified. Or so I was told."

"Yes, that is correct." he nodded "Even our destination is known only by the senior staff. However I know not much more than that either."

"I see. Well," she shrugged turning her palms up "wherever we may go, if you need a geologist on board, now you have one."

"We certainly do." he told her with a proud smile as the lift stopped and they stepped out. After a few moments, they reached her quarters and he helped her settle in. When they were finished, he stood in the middle of the room, ready to leave "I leave you to have a rest. The official briefing is tomorrow at 0800 hours in the morning."

She once again took his hand "Are you coming over for dinner? I-I mean of course together with Emma." she quickly added.

Data gazed away a little unsure "Well, I'm afraid she has some personal meeting to attend to in the evening - I believe it's about organizing a special social gathering for a friend called a bachelorette party? - but as far as I know, the meeting should end at around 2100. If that's not too late for you, we could join you for supper afterwards."

"Perfect! I have jetlag anyway, I would not be able to go to sleep early."

"Very well, then! We'll come over at around 2100. See you later, Mother."

"See you later, Data." she equalled as he stepped to the door. Then he stopped in the doorway seemingly getting an idea, and walked back to her. She looked at him with slight puzzlement, then he wordlessly took her gently by the shoulders, bowed down and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm very glad you are here, Mother." he told her pulling away in such a soft voice that Juliana felt a catch in her throat.

She smiled back joyfully "Me too." she whispered moved, then he turned with a smile on his face and left her alone.


	2. Chapter 2

"So what I was thinking about is that as Sonya loves cooking so much, we could arrange a mini-cookery-course for her and we could be the judges. If we like what she cooked, we can let her go into the life of a house wife. Maybe we can make some nice certificate with flowers on it that she passed!" Rika explained with an unworldly smile on her face to the five other women around the table at Ten Forward.

Emma sat at the preparation-meeting for Sonya's bachelorette party which would be thrown by Sonya's friends for the girl, and her eyes turned into two saucers hearing this idea. She was quite surprised that she was invited at all, but her initial delight turned into complete shock after listening to this one sentence coming from Rika (Sonya's best friend). It was quite plain that they had VERY different ideas for what a bachelorette party should be like. Em looked at Beverly but couldn't read her expression: the good doctor just sat there with that usual small smile of hers - which could indicate either kindness or the fact that she was ready to kill somebody. The other three girls smiled cheerfully at Rika hearing the idea and an involuntary thought rushed through Emma's blown away mind: What am I doing here?!

Anyways, it had to be asked. And so it had to be her who would throw the shit into the fan. AGAIN... "So. Does that mean that I have to cancel the chip-n-dale guy too?" she asked matter-of-factly.

Her reward was an utterly shocked expression from the four friends and one chuckle stifled into a (very bad) fake-cough from Bev. Emma's smile turned into an awkward grimace - not that she felt awkward at all.

"Eh..." Rika gave her a polite but very uncomfortable smile "I suppose it would be quite difficult to get a strip guy out here. So..."

"We have the holodeck." Emma told them turning up her palms. "Broccoli wouldn't even have to be jealous!"

"Well..." Rika cleared her throat "I suppose we should discuss this later on. When we know the rest of the details."

"Sure! You're right!" Emma nodded "We should rather discuss the cake!" she told them snapping her fingers grinning. She really loved sweets.

"Oh, yeah!" the other girls nodded delighted and seemingly very relieved to move away from that one embarrassing topic.

"So do you know what kind of cakes does Sonya like?" Beverly asked "What flavours?"

"Oh, she likes chocolate very much!" one of the girls popped in.

"But her favourite is coconut!" Rika told them "She really likes it in for example Pina Colada!"

"So maybe coconut. There's a good idea!" they all agreed.

"All the more so, because it would be quite bizarre to make it a chocolate cake." Emma mumbled almost to herself.

Of course again, all eyes were on her. Rika was the one who finally asked reluctantly: "Why should it be bizarre?"

Emma shrugged puzzled at the question "Of course it would be! Think about it, a willy-shaped cake and it's brown on the insides? Come on, white stuff coming out of it will look a loooot more natural! So. Coco should it be!" she explained with a grin.

One girl choked on her syntehol - unlucky her, she just drank her last sip, when Emma uttered the word 'willy' - then a stunned silence descended and four pairs of wide eyes in four white, exasperated faces were the reward for her explanation.

Beverly had her hand almost all over her face, and Emma looked at her frowning after a long moment of shocked silence "Is it just me, or we're actually NOT talking about a bachelorette party?" she asked in a low voice.

Bev took her hand away "Tyeah, Em, could you come to the counter with me to bring some drinks?"

"Do you want to take the jobs of the waiters?" Em asked back without missing a beat, raising her eyebrows challengingly. Bev gave her the usual - deadly - smile, and Emma seeing it, backed off and pushed her chair out from under her to stand up "Okay..."

At the counter, Bev ordered another round of syntehol, and while they were waiting for it, she looked at Emma "Don't tell me you're not doing this on purpose."

"I'm not!" Emma told her with mock-indignation then rolled her eyes "Alright, I am. Come on, Bev, ease up on me a little, alright? They're all nuns, for god's sake! We could so steal this show!" she laughed.

But Bev remained serious "They're Sonya's best friends. And she was quite nice that she wanted us to be at her bachelorette party."

"Yeah! So we have an obligation to make it a bachelorette party and not the Boston tea-party these spinsters trying to throw."

"Em! Sonya is a timid, shy girl. You know that. She was raised in a religious family."

"So what? Girls from religious families take willies in their hands with napkins?" Emma asked still not really seeing where they were going. Bev just rolled her eyes, and she went on "Bev! Come on! That girl is gonna be joined in the holy matrimony with freaking Broccoli - a vegetable! What fun is she gonna have, I mean ever in her entire life? She should have a real party on her last night out! Not a cookery course! Come on! Even if it takes to get her out of her comfort zone, we should make this fun!"

Beverly frowned crossing her arms in front of her chest "Start calling Lieutenant Barclay on his proper name already."

"Slip of the tongue, Bev. Happens to you too..."

"And try to step out of YOUR comfort zone for a change. We're doing this for Sonya. It has to be done in a way, she can like it. If she's all embarrassed at her own bachelorette party, it will be no fun for her with or without a strip guy."

Emma grimaced sulking and crossed her arms mirroring Beverly's posture. After a minute of stubborn staring into each other's eyes, finally, Emma was the one who gave in "Okay, okay. You're right, Mother Hen. As always. I hope you're all happy to hear it!"

"As a matter of fact, I'm rather relieved that you gave in so easily." Beverly admitted. A tray with all the glasses arrived, and Bev took it and motioned Emma back to the other girls.

When they got back, Bev put the tray down and as they sat down with Emma, Rika smiled kindly "Oh, this reminds me! We should also decide on what kind of syntehol we will drink!"

This was the last straw for Emma "What?! You're not being serious! A bachelorette party without a strip guy, without a willy-cake and without real alcohol?! Have you guys ever been to a party apart from tea-parties for five year-olds?"

Bev cleared her throat and looked daggers at her. Em threw her hands up: "Shut up, Emma! Okay, that's what Emma's gonna do." And she spent the rest of the meeting in sulking silence.

* * *

 

Walking on the corridors with Bev after the meeting, she sighed and clasped her fingers "Well. Suppose I'm voted out from the party-preparations-committee. Was nice as long as it lasted."

"I honestly don't think that." Beverly told her comfortingly.

"Wha- you weren't there?!" Em asked her "They were blinking like a plowed out mole!"

"You see, I suppose just as you do, they also need to step out of their comfort zones for a change. The end-result might be a very unique and nice party. Believe me." Beverly smiled optimistically.

Emma shrugged "No matter how hard you try to convince me, that's not gonna be a real bachelorette party without any willies..." she grimaced still sulking like a teenage girl.

Beverly frowned at her with a suspicious smile "What's this huge need for willies, dear? You sound as if you haven't had a boyfriend for almost two months now."

Emma suddenly seemed very uncomfortable. After a moment, she shrugged "Well, maybe that's exactly the problem."

Bev gaped wide-eyed, and they stopped walking "You mean that Data..."

"I mean that we haven't done it yet." Emma cut in looking into her eyes almost shyly - very unlike her. "We... we keep fooling around but... we haven't... we haven't. And you know... it's sorta frustrating. Maybe that's what's showing, yeah..." she bowed her head and pushed her fingers through her long hair self-consciously.

After the stunned moment of silence passed, Bev finally asked "But why? Is he the one who doesn't want it or...?"

"It's me." Emma admitted looking straight into Beverly's eyes. Bev couldn't believe her ears, just stood there gaping. Emma gave her a very uncomfortable smile "Don't look so freaking shocked, Bev. I was married to a man for ten years - hell, I'm still married to him. Believe me, I'm really attracted to Data, and I mean really, really very much... but it's just... it's too early, or I don't know, I'm just... so unsure." she confessed finally.

"Have you ever spoken to him about this?"

"No! No way. What should I tell him, for god's sake, Bev?"

"Em, you're practically living together for the last two months. I suppose it's just as difficult for him as it is for you that you just fool around and that's that - as you say. He should deserve some explanation. Or at least some reassurance. Sooner or later he'll make up some reason why you're not moving forward, and I wouldn't wait for that to happen, if I were you. You know how single-minded he can be, if he gets some idea into his head."

"Yeah, I know, I know... you're right. I'll... I'll try to ...tell him something."

They walked up to Beverly's quarters finally "Are you coming in for a drink?" she asked smiling invitingly.

"Ah, tempting, but I can't."

"Studying for the exam? It's good that we could have Starfleet Medical to postpone it another month. Gave you some leeway."

"Yeah, it's not that now. Data's mom is coming on-board, and we agreed to have dinner with her... I mean he did, actually. I was just told the fact later on..." Emma added grimacing really hating the whole idea.

Beverly gaped and smiled wildly "Wow! Meeting his mom? This IS getting serious! Em, it's a huge thing!"

"Yeah, at first I actually told him, it's a bad idea."

"Why?!"

"Why, Bev. Seriously. All the moms hate me! She won't be any exception!" she then shrugged with a small smile "It's just that he was so sweet trying to convince me, that it'll be okay, that I had to accept."

Beverly gave her an encouraging smile "Just try to cut back on the willy-topic a little, and all's gonna be A-okay!"


	3. Chapter 3

Emma got to Data's quarters pretty late and deep in thought. She pressed the door chime absently and frowned irritated when she instinctively tried to walk through the door staying stubbornly shut instead of sliding open and she simultaneously heard Data's comvoice coming through.

"Who's there?"

She rolled her eyes annoyed "Who?! The devil with a trident! Time to get scared, Deadpan, if you don't let me in."

"Sorry, I'm in the middle of changing. Come in, please!"

The door slid open, and she stepped in still annoyed "This bachelorette party meeting took so long that we'll be late from your mom!" she started to unfasten her uniform top, but the fastenings seemed to get stuck "Oh, shit, just what I need..."

"We won't be late, don't worry." she heard Data's voice coming from the sleeping area "I already did all the steps necessary prior to such an occasion: I brought some flowers from the arboretum and replicated a bottle of wine to bring over, I'm almost done changing into casual clothes, and I've already fed Spot so she would sleep the time we are not home through. The only thing left is you changing and we can make a move!" he explained meticulously "Maybe we'll be late a few minutes, but it's really not a tragedy!" he added in a soothing voice as he checked his internal chronometer and found that it was 2057.

But it was as if Emma didn't even hear him, she just went on with freaking herself out "It's the worst start ever to be late! She'll hate me from the first minute-" she trailed off as she stepped into the sleeping area and found Data there really in the middle of changing.

He was almost dressed, only his white shirt was open which he was starting to button from the bottom up and he seemed quite wrapped up in what he was doing. "You really need not to worry so much! I told you she's a nice person. She is not easy to irritate." he told her absently not even looking up. When she didn't answer, he glanced up at her quickly, then seeing her dumbstruck expression he looked at her puzzled.

She stared at him spell-bound looking at the pale skin of his chest and stomach visible underneath his open shirt. He was so beautiful! So perfect! She drank in all his curves and plains with her gaze, his unblemished skin, the muscles of his flat stomach, the lines of his ribs and collarbone - he was so skinny! and so unbelievably attractive... Emma swallowed as their eyes met. He stood there so confused, probably had no idea how enticing his looks were.

"Sorry if I... embarrassed you!" he told her in a low voice and pulled his shirt together shyly.

"Oh-eh...mmm..." when it dawned on her that no coherent word would leave her lips in the near future, she decided to stick with non-verbal communication and just shook her head. The shit are you doing, idiot?! she screamed to herself. Why don't you just take a fork and a knife and start to devour this timid guy literally as if he was a piece of meat that you're making him feel like?! Get your shit together already!

She shook her head again "We'll be late..." she muttered and bolted to the bathroom. He gazed after her still puzzled. She was so absent-minded that she didn't even close the door behind herself, just put her palms on the small cupboard containing the basin and shut her eyes tightly to get a grip. Whenever she saw or felt just a glimpse of his perfectness, the feeling of sheer inadequateness followed the overpowering desire. Her body was so far away from being perfect as the Enterprise was from Earth. She felt she somehow violated him by staring at his body knowing full well, that her own body could never cause such amazement in return.

She raised her swaying head and vaguely tried to open her uniform's fastening again but still overwhelmed by his sight, her hands felt weak. "Are you alright?" she heard his voice and snapping her head sideways, took a sharp breath in scared. She exhaled it seeing him as he stood in the doorway. He stepped in reluctantly "I didn't mean to scare you."

She shook her head swallowing hard and managed to give him a faint smile "No-no, it's just..." her hands came up to the neck of her uniform top again "I think this damn thing got stuck..." she couldn't think of anything else to say.

He smiled and cocked his head sideways "May I help?"

She nodded wordlessly - it seemed the ability to verbally express herself was left outside in the corridor. He stepped in, then surprising her, turned her to the mirror and standing behind her circled her with his arms.

"Let me see..." he whispered and wiped her hair from her neck and shoulder so he could look at the fastening of her uniform top from above. She felt his warm body pressing tightly to hers from behind and his breath in her ear sent a hot fire coursing down to her abdomen. She bit her lower lip and tried very hard to concentrate on what his hands were doing. But his palms were brushing the top of her breasts as her chest heaved underneath his hands, and she needed to forcefully stop herself from whimpering at the gentle, inadvertent caress.

When the damn fastenings finally gave way, a moment of relief washed through her, hoping that the exquisite torture would finally end. But it seemed he had other plans, because he slowly pushed her uniform top open, by sliding his hand down between the two sides - between her two breasts and over her stomach. She vaguely thought that perhaps he had no idea what he was doing to her but then he put his lips to the nape of her neck and kissed her there lightly. Oh, yes, he knew exactly what he was doing! When the uniform top opened, he pressed his palms to her abdomen and started to slid his hands upward while he followed the curve of her neck with his lips.

His hands gently cupped her small breasts through her thin under-shirt, thumbs brushing the sensitive nipples, while he kissed and licked her earlobe - knowing all too well how crazy that could drive her! She let out a soft moan as she couldn't stand his ministrations any longer and grabbing his hands pushed her breasts into his palms. This time, they moaned in union at the feeling.

"Ah, god..." she whimpered and turning her head to the side, she claimed his mouth with hers. He held her close from behind and pushed his tongue into her mouth hungrily. When she responded eagerly, he let her go for a moment, just to turn her around and crush her into a tight embrace. He kissed her deeply again, and as he felt her pushing his shirt off his shoulders, he slid his hands to her butt and grabbed her firmly. She slid her hand down his bare back feeling his tight muscles and his blade-bone then slid it up again to his neck then into his hair pulling his head down to her almost as if her life depended on that singular kiss.

In a sudden movement, he picked her up and sat her on the low cupboard. She looked down at him breathing heavily: his shirt was off his shoulders halfway down his arms, his hair was dishevelled and his lips glistened from their kisses - and his eyes reflected pure love and hunger. Her throat closed as she understood how much he wanted her, but he didn't give her too much time to contemplate this, as he pulled her in for another kiss. When she put her arms around him, she knew he'd discarded his shirt, because as her hands roamed his upper body she felt that he was naked from the waistline up. He pushed her uniform top off her shoulders, making her let go of him for a moment, then breaking away from her, let her take it off. She wanted to reclaim his mouth but it seemed he didn't have enough of undressing her. Smiling, he bent down, and kissing her knee, pulled her boots off, first one, then the other - and the next moment, his hands were at the waistline of her trousers pulling out her under-shirt. She had no time to protest, he simply pulled it upward and she, obediently raising her arms, let him take it off of her.

As usual, she wore nothing underneath, and he gazed at her nude breasts almost in a trance. She again found herself wondering how he could find any attraction for her body, for her breasts. They were not so round and firm as they used to be ten years ago, they grew heavier with the years, and her nipples became a little less delicate. She felt time was not easy on any other parts of her body either. The skin on her stomach became a little wrinkled and underneath there was a little excessive fat - she had kept joking she might end up doing the same diet Spot needed a month ago, whenever the topic came up. And he was always such a gentleman, always found something he could complement her on to divert her attention. But this was all wrong! He should have been with somebody who was more adequate to him! Who was young and beautiful! Just like he was...

He looked into her eyes with wonder on his features and it made her snap out of her sad reverie. She couldn't help but return his smile and combed through his hair with her fingers tenderly. Shutting his eyes for a brief moment, he turned toward her gentle touch, then opened his eyes and closing the distance, kissed her on the lips once again. After a short moment though, he took his mouth away and once again looked down at her nude breasts. He tentatively cupped one into his palm and sliding his thumb over her nipple felt it tighten instinctively. He needed to feel what that was like if he caressed her with his mouth! So he bent to her other breast and took her nipple between his lips.

She sucked in a breath and her hand instinctively came up to tangle into his hair to hold him to her. He slid his tongue over her nipple then feeling it respond to his touch, he gently scraped it with his lower teeth - it instantly tightened and he heard her moan. With a short kiss, he took his mouth away slowly and stared up into her eyes once again. She combed through his mussed up hair tenderly. A moment later he claimed her mouth pulling her close and clasping her legs around his waist.

The next thing she knew was that they were kissing in his bed feverishly. It was no simple fooling around anymore. It was not innocent, light patting before falling asleep. It was not gentle exploring each other's bodies through their clothes. It was hot, hard, furious passion, and she knew, she felt he wanted this desperately after over a long month of teasing each other to nuts. I want to give it to you! Take me, baby! her mind screamed as she sank her nails into the skin of his back and pulled him close almost tearing at his flesh! And he responded with a grunt of pleasure, gently biting her tongue with his teeth and then grinding his hips to hers.

Oh, I want you so much! she felt she could cry from the craving! But suddenly she heard another voice in her head asking her the one question, she kept asking herself whenever she thought about giving in to their passion. And then? Maybe they would have some amazing nights. Maybe even years. But the reality would remain reality. She was growing old. He was not. He was perfect, she was anything but perfect. She was convinced he would some day find somebody and just as her luck usually ran, when she would finally let herself believe that this all was true, he would simply walk away with another girl. Someone who was younger and more beautiful. Someone he really deserved even right now, when he was wasting his time on her.

And her body tensed up! Oh, I'm crazy! I must be! But I just can't! I can't! She suddenly broke away "I can't..." she breathed. He stared at her with utter disbelief in his eyes. She tried to ignore his expression and pushed him off of herself. He obeyed and rolled to his side letting her sit up. But she couldn't get up from the bed, her legs were so weak, so she just sat there on the edge feeling his confused gaze on herself.

She cleared her throat and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand "We'll be late..." she told him silently.

After a long moment, he pushed himself up to a sitting position pulling his legs under him and took some deep breaths to calm his desires still running wild. When he felt, he had at least one processing thread that was free to think clearly, he crawled a little closer to where she sat slouching, rigid on the edge. But he didn't dare to touch her.

"Emma. I believe we made a promise to one another. At the very beginning. We promised we'd be honest with each other. Please do not lie to me." he asked in a silent voice.

She turned her face away impatiently "It's not a lie that we'll be late. It's a fact. Moreover, we already are late. So..." she started to get up, but he didn't let her: without thinking, he took her by the arm and pulled her down on the bed once more - he just couldn't let her run away like that!

But she stared at him suddenly hostilely - almost scared "I think I've told you, I don't appreciate you showing off your inhuman strength on me." she growled warningly.

He let her go shocked and bowed his head "Forgive me." he whispered guiltily, and she shut her eyes feeling remorse washing over her. Oh, it's not you, who should feel so horrible! It's not you! Her hands came up into fists. Bev was right. She needed to at least try to explain this to him... She raised her head, but before she could speak, he gazed into her eyes wistfully "Is that it?" her only response was a confused furrow of her brows "Is that why you do not wish to consummate our relationship? Because you are scared of me? Because I'm not human." he asked, and she could see that he tried hard to conceal the pain behind that one devastating question.

She opened her mouth to answer, but no sound came out, she just shook her head stunned. Bev was right! He did get an idea into his head - but this?!

Data went on silently "I know you are attracted. At times, just as now, you let yourself be carried away by that attraction. However... I presume there's always something that reminds you, how far I am from humanity. And how far I'll always be. And at those times... you grow scared or... or disgusted. I am unsure which one..."

Her hands came up into tight fists as she listened in complete shock. She wished nothing but crushing him into a tight embrace and kissing him wherever she could reach to reassure him. But she just couldn't move. She felt petrified, only her hands clutched the blanket so tightly that her knuckles became white.

He saw her hands and gently brushed the tips of his long fingers over it "It is alright, Emma." he whispered in a broken voice "If you wish to end our relationship, I will not blame you. Please don't torture yourself. You gave me so much, I'm so grateful to you..."

And whatever else he was about to say was swallowed in her kiss. His eyes closed in pleasure, he felt her grip his shoulder and neck so tightly that was he a human, his blood would be staining the bedclothes now.

She then suddenly let go and took his face into her palms almost violently "Shut up!" she forced it out between her teeth "How can you... say such a thing?!" she pulled him close with a tearless sob, and held him as tightly as she could breathing heavily "Oh, shut up, you crazy ...you sweet... you precious..." she shook her head helplessly "How can you? How can you think that?!" she asked barely able to believe that he uttered the last few sentences.

"It has crossed my mind many times in fact." he gently pushed her back to look into her eyes and seeing her disbelieving expression, he went on "I'm not a human. I'm just a look-alike. Some would even say... only a mockery. ...I do know that you care about me, but you may still have your reservations. I am... only a machine after all."

She shut her eyes bowing her head slouching "And I thought my inhibitions are painful." she whispered in a shaken voice. She then looked up at him feeling her mind clear a little and then cuddled up to him, making him take her into his arms. He complied though a bit confused, but held her close lovingly. She took a deep breath feeling the tight grip in her chest lessen even for a little bit with his touch "Data..." she whispered "You are the single most beautiful creature I've ever encountered in my whole life. You must never think that you are less than a human. Never!" she gave his body a gentle squeeze.

"I know I am not less." he replied almost matter-of-factly "I am superior to humans in several things. Still this does not change the fact that I'm a machine."

She needed a moment to try to take the courage to make the confession she needed to make - now even owed him to make! Then she pulled away and looked into his eyes.

"You're right about our agreement. We agreed on being honest with each other. No matter how difficult it is. So here's the thing..." she swallowed hard fighting her embarrassment "I'm attracted to you. Sometimes so much so that I feel tortured, helpless. The pleasure your touch can make me feel sometimes borders on pain. And I..." she shook her head frustrated "I can't think about anything but what would happen afterwards! What would happen if I let myself completely trust you? What would happen if you by accident suddenly happen to realize how wonderful you are? And what would happen if then, you met another woman? Somebody who is young and beautiful and as wonderful as you are - and is not full of self-doubt and sarcasm and whose body isn't anything but perfect. I'm 43. And I'm not gonna get any younger. And I keep thinking that... one day, you'll open your eyes, look around and will see... the chasm between the two of us..." she bowed her head, cheeks burning, feeling completely humiliated by her confession.

After a moment, she felt the tips of his fingers under her chin. He gently turned her face upward, just as she usually did to him. He gazed at her with a tentative smile of wonder "Emma. You are perfect in your humanity! The imperfections of your body makes you so adorably human!" he slid his hand down her neck over her collarbone, and her breath was caught. He stopped at her shoulder where she had a small birthmark, and then bowed his head to it and kissed it tenderly. Then looked into her eyes now reflecting amazement once again "These are the things that make you the person you are. Even your self-doubt and sarcasm. All your mistakes. All the imperfections of your body. You are not the statue of beauty, but a beautiful human! I want you for what you are! A human!" he took her hand and kissed it gently then squeezing it he went on "You told me once, you do not wish to know the future. Why are you doubting that future now?"

She shook her head at her own stupidity of the past "Because at the time I told you that crap, I had no idea what you would mean to me now. As time goes by, it's more and more difficult to feel negligent about the thought of letting you go, if life required it."

He smiled again in wonder "But is it not wonderful? Is it not how we are supposed to feel? Is it not how two people bond with each other? I find the prospect of letting you go as difficult as you might. And it's the most fascinating emotion I've ever had! However Emma, I find it even more difficult to see you unhappy." he stroked her long hair tenderly "I will wait for you as long as you need me to wait." he whispered "As I have promised you. But please don't torture yourself the way you've been doing. Please let me help! Any way I can!" he cupped her face in his palm and stroked her cheek with his thumb. She wordlessly took his hand and kissed his fingers one by one gratefully.

Then staring into his honest gaze, she started crooning silently:

_"Perhaps I had a wicked childhood_  
_Perhaps I had a miserable youth_  
_But somewhere in my wicked, miserable past_  
_There must have been a moment of truth"_

She smiled tenderly at him and smiling back he asked: "What is this?"

"A woman trying to figure out why she deserved the happiness she got from life." she smiled shyly "I feel that way now. No matter how naughty all my life I've been, there must've been something that made the universe think I deserve meeting you... and having you here and now."

He smiled timidly but then looked at her raising his eyebrows "I know a certain someone, who would now tell you, that if you don't stop, we'll die of diabetes, this is so corny and sweet!"

She shook her head laughing softly "You are getting exceedingly good at teasing, Deadpan! I'll need to pay more attention! This was fairly a low ball for you to catch!" they chuckled. She cuddled to him, stroking his cheek with one hand and bringing his lips to hers, she gave him two quick kisses "Let's go to your mom." she whispered "And we can go on with this trail of thought afterwards."

He pulled her in for another kiss, then "Or any other previous ones for that matter."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Italics are from Sound of Music - This is NOT gonna be a song-fic again, I promise, it just gave itself really :)


	4. Chapter 4

Juliana greeted them with a welcoming smile, but her warm friendliness was not enough to alleviate Emma's anxiety about the whole occasion. She kept thinking about how she was going to explain the fact that she was still married, or why she left her husband, or what if some well-known fact would come up about Data which she had no idea about - they'd been going out only for a little less than two months, still it would be embarrassing if it turned out that they didn't know each other that well...

Data in the mean time was running around them almost literally: had them sit down in the living room, brought them drinks, put the flowers he had given his mother into water and told them about how a dinner was supposed to be conducted according to an author from the late 19th century.

"It was also said that before the dinner itself the guests and the host are supposed to share a drink together. It is a form of toast, and it has a very important role in getting to know each other." he explained as he sat on the couch next to Emma, while Juliana was sitting in an armchair to their side.

"You don't have to do everything according to the book, Data." Juliana told him kindly.

He blinked surprised and took Emma's hand into his: "Oh, Emma often tells me, I have a wish to be perfect in everything." She just smiled up at him timidly.

"Sometimes a little bit of spontaneity can flavour the moment, believe me!" Juliana smiled.

His expression turned gloomy "I'm not sure that my programming would contain an ability to be spontaneous, Mother. At least not to a positive effect. The last time I made an attempt at it, Doctor Crusher ended up in the holodeck ocean, and she was very upset."

The two ladies laughed softly "Yes, she told me..." Emma mumbled in a very silent voice covering her mouth. It was an amusing story, and she felt her spirits lifting at least a little bit by recalling Bev's irritated expression as she recounted the memory for her.

Juliana looked from her back to Data amused "Believe me, with a father like yours, the ability has to be there! It's just you have to start small, that's all! Like now, I didn't mean anything as big as taking a swim on the holodeck right now, but for example, we could start eating without any of these formalities, because I'm starved to death."

Emma smiled and was actually quite grateful for the elder woman, not only for saving her from the toast, but also because she could have eaten a whale, she was so hungry.

Data looked at Juliana wide-eyed "Oh, why didn't you say so, Mother?" he stood up "Just take a seat at the table, and I bring everything!" he then went to the replicator while the two women stood up too.

"Is he always so attentive?" Juliana asked in a low voice.

Emma looked over to Data at the replicator and smiled "Yes, yes, he is." she told her timidly then hugging herself raised her glass to her face and apparently studied the intricate patterns on it intently.

Juliana stood there for a few moments, silent. She waited until Emma finally looked from her glass in her hand up at her again, and then smiling, she raised her glass "To the hope that all of us will survive this evening. Even including you!" Emma looked at her puzzled, and Juliana, putting a soothing hand on her arm, chuckled "You look as if this dinner was served in the torture chamber of hell, and you were supposed to enjoy yourself with the closest friend of devil!"

Emma blinked surprised and even grew a little pale "I-I'm sorry, Ms. Tainer. I didn't mean to offend you!" But she was trying so hard to look like a normal person! Whatever did she screw up this time?!

"Oh, you didn't, don't be so frightened! And call me Juliana already! You know, I've had two husbands, I know what it is like to be introduced to a mother-in-law-candidate!" she stroked her arm, and Emma tried to equal her earnest smile "Believe me, sweetheart, I have faced much worse than myself!"

Emma chuckled finally "I can imagine, it's just... I know how important this is for Data. I'd like to make a good impression - believe me if I start to talk, that will not happen..." she blurted and then almost uttered a profanity at her instinctual bluntness. She just couldn't be let anywhere near people!

But Juliana laughed out loud "Just be yourself, my dear!" she put an arm around Emma's shoulder who tensed up a little at the touch but then forced herself to relax "Data wanted me to get to know YOU, and not some dream of mothers timid girl. He told me so much about you, it made me really intrigued, so don't hold yourself back."

Emma gave her a wry smile "I suppose I'm better off as long as I don't know what he told you about me..." and all of us, as long as I try to pretend to be a civilized human being...

* * *

After finishing their food, Data was telling a story about an experiment they were conducting with Geordi at Engineering - in a very detailed and overly Data-ish way - and Juliana watched both him and Emma. The younger woman was seemingly listening to him intently, having only eyes for him, however Juliana knew that look well.

She wore the same expression when Noonian used to tell her stories about his cybernetics experiments. It didn't really matter what he was speaking about. It only mattered that he did, his voice was like a spell, his intellect was one of his greatest sex-appeals, and she also had to admit that it was a pleasure in itself to just simply watch him, to just look into his huge grey-blue eyes or just gaze at his lips as they were moving.

It seemed Data had a similar effect on this lady, and Juliana felt nostalgic watching them. She never loved anyone the same way she had Noonian. That beautiful feeling never returned - not even for Pran. At first, she felt guilty about it, but after the first few years of their marriage, she accepted the fact that love could come in several different ways, and she did actually love Pran deeply, only in a different form.

But she was never prepared to be reminded of a love so deep and so long gone tonight. Her eyes suddenly filled with tears, and she embarrassedly cleared her throat and turned her gaze away.

Data trailed off in his story and gaped at her worried "Mother! Are you feeling alright?" he never thought a story about warp-coil experiments could bring anybody to tears! "I did not mean to upset you!" he said in a thin voice.

Juliana smiled and blinked away her tears "No, no, don't worry, Data! You didn't upset me!" she put her hand on his "It's just that for a moment, you reminded me of your father." she then looked over at Emma who just sat there with a worried look "And you reminded me of myself so deeply in love with him."

There was a moment of stunned silence after which Data opened his mouth to clarify the situation. Emma was still very adamant about the fact that they only shared a crush, and it was not yet love that bound them together. He knew that she could get really tensed up if this topic was brought up especially if somebody else was around too, and he didn't think he could handle two upset ladies alone! "Mother, I need to correct you, it might seem..."

But Emma put a hand on his arm. He looked at her questioningly and was surprised to see a loving expression on her features that she never let anybody else see ever. "It's okay, baby." she whispered simply. He gaped at her - she never used their term of endearment in front of anybody else either! When his mother asked him to have dinner together he suspected that this would be a significant night, but now one amazement hit after another! He quickly started a processing thread to run in the background to analyse the present change in Emma's behaviour, he was sure the result would be most intriguing.

He then looked at his mother cautiously "Are you sure you are feeling alright, Mother?"

Juliana nodded now with dry eyes "I'm fine, don't worry."

"Would you like a change of the subject?" he asked then added meticulously "Perhaps if I am to speak about something other than science, maybe I would not resemble Father so much, thus I would less likely to upset you."

Both women chuckled at his innocence, and Juliana tried to clarify the matter for him "It's not bad that you remind me of him, Data. To be honest, I never really dared to tell him, but I always thought that in character, you take after me a lot more than him, no matter that he made you after his own image. It's nice to see that there's something in you of him too."

"I see." Data gazed away thoughtfully - he still didn't quite comprehend why she started to cry, but he decided against prying further. He would need to run an analysis on her behaviour as well.

Juliana saw that he became a little wound up, and it was plain that probably Emma was even worse at such social situations as she was just sitting there looking at Data blinking timidly - almost begging him with her eyes to finally go home. She needed to move them away from feeling embarrassed, so she smiled at Emma "Why don't you tell me about that play Data mentioned earlier? The one the two of you play together in."

"Oh, sure!" Emma nodded surprised that she was being asked "It's called Dreamland. And it's a musical."

"So you sing too!" Juliana smiled amazed.

"And dance!" Data added.

"Oh!"

"Yes. It's a romantic piece, actually it's a dream. Most of it at least. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes sad, sometimes there are surprising twists in it." Emma stuttered a little not really knowing how much she should speak: should she start telling the whole story or just some points? How interested Juliana could be? She rather finished after a few sentences embarrassed "It's better be watched than told in words."

"And when can I watch it?" Juliana asked eagerly "If I may." she added.

"Tomorrow it's on." Data answered kindly "And of course you may, Mother. Why would you think otherwise?"

"I just don't want to embarrass you." Juliana explained in a soft voice.

Data shook his head unsure "I do not see in what way you would embarrass me."

His mother clasped her fingers on the table and leaned forward a little with a smile "You know, Data, children can feel reluctant about showing their performances or achievements to their mothers. They could feel embarrassed about it. I was thinking maybe you might feel that way, if I went to watch the play."

He frowned considering then looked at her with a small serene smile "If that was so, I am eager to experience such an emotion too. I'd wager that is also a special form of bonding!"

Juliana laughed softly and gave Data's hand a gentle squeeze "Then I'm happy to be of assistance." she then went back to interrogate Emma out of her out-of-character timidity "And how are the preparations for the bachelorette party? I hear that you are organizing one for a friend."

"Yeah, no, eh, partly. I'm part of the group who are organizing it." she shrugged "We're only at the beginning. We'll see how it would end up..." she grimaced thinking about how great the first meeting went in the evening.

Juliana chuckled "And why are you looking as if you tasted lemon?"

And this time, Emma answered out of her usual bluntness, without thinking "Cause they're all nuns and voted off all of my ideas including a willy-cake!" she blurted in one breath and then hearing herself saying that, put her hands in front of her mouth tightly, her eyes were wide like two saucers. Juliana eyed her with a suppressed smile and taking her hands away, Emma looked at her pleadingly "Please, pretend I said nothing! I always speak before I think but I was doing so fine so far, just please, please forget this one sentence, please!"

And Juliana couldn't bear it any longer, she burst out in a heartfelt laugh, then wiping her eyes, she chuckled "Oh, I'm just happy that the Emma I got to know from Data's messages finally got here by the end of the dinner!" she then went on laughing, and finally Emma started to chuckle too.

Data was looking from one lady to the other confused and finally, he decided to ask: "What kind of a cake is a willy-cake?"

His answer was more laughter from the ladies.

* * *

After saying good night to Juliana, they walked down the corridor hand in hand:  
"Your mom is cool! I'm taking her into Team-Emma in the bachelorette-party-organizing-committee. She might help me convince the nuns that we do need a strip-guy!" Emma mused.

Data raised a forefinger as if he was doing a lecture: "I told you, she is a nice person. However, I am not sure I'm comfortable with the idea that my mother and my girlfriend are watching a male stripping down in front of them."

"Above them, on the counter preferably!" Emma corrected him mock-seriously "But you're right Deadpan, it wouldn't be appropriate." she stopped and looked up at him seductively "All the more so, because the one person I'd most like to watch strip for me is standing here." she drew a curvy line from his chest to his waistline with her forefinger, and he bent down to her face and kissed her softly on the lips. She was about to break away after a moment, but he tightened his embrace on her waist and deepened the otherwise chaste kiss. She couldn't resist, she circled his neck with her arms and responded to his explorations. After a long minute, when he had enough, he slowly broke away from her lips and gazed into her eyes hazy with desire.

"What did I tell you about making out in public?" she asked on a breathless whisper.

And without any previous warning, he started to speak in her voice: "Small kisses are fine, Deadpan, but fooling around in the corridors like teenagers is not okay! Think about it, we both are adults who should be in possession of their restrains. Compared to that we look like two drooling cadets groping around in each other's uniforms." he then cocked his head with as a deadpan expression as ever and added in his own voice "It is fortunate, we're not in our uniforms."

Emma just stood there gaping at him - there was something really creepy in hearing your own voice coming out of somebody else's mouth "You sounded as if you swallowed my vocal chords in the last smooch. But, Deadpan, if you do that one more time..." but her threat was swallowed in another long kiss. She responded with a small helpless moan. Then as he started to kiss her on the neck, and her mouth was free to speak she sighed feeling really light-headed "Oh, god..." she sucked in a breath as he started kissing her on her ear "Are you sure, that wine was only syntehol?" she asked in a thin voice.

He raised his head still with his usual neutral expression very much at odds with his hair so mussed up "Positive. The replicator is not programmed to give real alcohol, you know that."

She pushed her fingers through his hair "Then it is just your presence that makes me feel dizzy. Come here, baby!" she pulled his head back to hers and this time she kissed him deeply.


	5. Chapter 5

Emma and Data entered his quarters feverishly kissing. He threw his jacket - which he'd taken off minutes before in the turbolift - carelessly to the ground then circled her with his arms once more trying to find the fastenings of her long dress on the back. As she felt him opening her dress, she slid her hands from his hair to his chest and started to unbutton his shirt.

He broke away and tried to look into her eyes, but she cuddled up to him and started to nuzzle and kiss his neck just under his ear - she knew he loved that. He responded with a grunt of pleasure and by pulling her closer and kissing her shoulder. "Emma..." he called in a soft voice. She raised her head from his neck and claimed his mouth hungrily, when she finally managed to open his shirt. She slid her palms over his body down to his waistline, and he needed to grab hold of his last remaining rationality to break away from her "Em..." he called again.

"Hmm?" she glanced into his eyes, but her gaze just fell helplessly back to his moist lips.

"If you want to stop... please tell me now... before I lose all my ability to think clearly." he told her cupping her cheek tenderly, and she could see how hard this was for him to say - and she could feel it too.

Her heart wanted to leap out, and her breath was caught by his nearness and his loving words. She knew he would have stopped a thousand times if she wanted him to, no matter how hard it'd be for him. And this thought made her feel so safe, so secure... But she just didn't want to get lost in the heartbreaking tenderness of the moment, or in the thought that no man had ever been this selfless, this patient with her - for her! She wanted this night to be fun for him! So she just gave him one of her teasing little smirks and pushed herself up to his now bare chest circling his neck with her arms "Don't ya like to be surprised?"

His eyebrows ran up and as a chuckle blurted out of her mouth at his expression, a moment later he joined her in her amusement shaking his head "You are..." but he was just lost for words.

"Evil? Cruel? The wicked witch of the west? Just say whatever is on your mind."

"I'd rather demonstrate whatever I have on my mind." he told her in a low voice and kissed her again pushing through lips and teeth to meet her tongue with his. Then reached up to her shoulder and started to ease her out of her dress.

She suddenly broke away "Wait!" she whispered.

He looked at her disbelievingly - was she serious? or was this just another teasing? Her expression seemed serious, so he grudgingly but resignedly let her dress go and just held her gently by the waist without making her feel trapped. He tried very hard not to show the disappointment he really felt. "Okay..." he whispered.

"No, no! I meant..." she looked at him embarrassed "I just meant, I don't want to be the first to get undressed."

"So you do wish to..."

She just kissed him deep and tried to push his shirt off his shoulders as an answer. He understood, and never letting her lips go, pulled the garment out of his trousers, and took it off.

She ran her hand up over his bare back then down again and marvelled in the feel of his skin and flesh and bones. Oh, he was just so perfect!

He broke away from her and smiled at her "You want me to strip down for you as you previously expressed in the corridor."

She giggled embarrassed "I just want to look at you." she whispered.

He leaned close to her face pulling her to himself tightly "I want to look at you too." he told her trying to catch her gaze. She just shut her eyes and let a painful expression cloud her features for a fraction of a second. He knew she was still unsure of herself, so he gave her a light kiss on the lips and smiled at her "Let's do this together! I have to admit, I feel a certain amount of embarrassment also. It'd be comforting to do this with you."

She finally returned his smile and nodded. He let her go and took half a step back from her. "To put ourselves at ease, we may as well proceed with the least embarrassing pieces of garment: shoes. That is, if you approve." he told her in an almost professional voice.

She smiled then chuckled and nodded "I approve. And I also approve of the fact that you take the lead. Just as if we were dancing." she told him shyly.

He smiled delighted and complying, he knelt on one knee before her. She giggled at the situation "It is a little early for that, Deadpan."

He frowned and looked over her then down at himself, then realizing what the way he was kneeling before her symbolized, smiled in wonder "But at least you didn't say 'no' right away!"

She laughed out loud and stroked his hair tenderly "You're just amazing!"

He reached up for her hand and bringing it to his lips, kissed her fingers softly. He then slid his hand up her arm until he reached the line of her tiny waist then slipped his hand around it. Then slowly, sensually, he moved his hand over her hip and her thigh until he reached the curve of her knee. He then reached down with his other hand and eased her foot out of her shoe. She watched his ministrations feeling her cheeks burn with excitement.

He moved over to her other foot and gently helping her out of her shoe again, he spoke in his usual silent voice "Did you know that there was a time when gentlemen used to drink champaign from the shoe of the Prima Donna after a performance on stage?" He looked up into her eyes "It was the ultimate act of respect for the lady and her beauty."

She stared into his eyes for a long moment as he knelt there before her gazing into her eyes with the exact same devotion she felt for him. This time, she was the one who smiled with childlike wonder feeling an emotion she hadn't for a very-very long time. No matter that it was too early. No matter that they barely knew each other. It was there. She felt she again blushed deeply, and she tried to stifle the feeling.

She smiled at him teasing "Did you know, Deadpan, that all of these small, unimportant things that you decide to elaborate on at the strangest of moments would drive me to nuts if they were coming from anyone else but you? But you somehow make them sound so interesting." They chuckled together, and then she shrugged trying to seem nonchalant "It must be the synthehol."

He decided to try to this once play along "Well, since the misconception of being intoxicated by synthetic alcohol emerged several times tonight, would you like me to elaborate on the ingredients of the beverage you'd enjoyed at my mother's place? Maybe a chemical analysis might help you understand how synthetic wine could never make you feel like real wine does." he offered helpfully.

She squinted pouting thoughtfully "Hmm... There's a dilemma: chemistry lesson versus having sex. Let me think..."

"No need to think about it in terms of versus. I'm perfectly capable of multitasking. And based on statistics, female humans are good at it too. We might as well test if this hypothesis fits you as well." he told her matter of factly.

She laughed out loud and taking his face between her hands, planted a loud kiss on his lips. Then breaking away, she remained bent and looked into his eyes "I'd prefer you going on with what you've started." she whispered.

"With the analysis?" he raised his eyebrows remaining as deadpan as ever.

She frowned "You're getting good at teasing, but you still have no idea when to quit and turn serious, babe! Now would be as good a time as any!"

"Understood!" he told her in a low voice and pulled her in for another kiss. When he let her mouth go, she straightened, and he went on with taking his own shoes and socks off. He then stood up and took her back into his arms. When she leaned to him to kiss him, he held up a forefinger "Ah! A moment, please!" he then raised his chin "Computer!" it chirped in response "Place the combadges of Lieutenant Jones and myself in Do-Not-Disturb mode, lock the door and decrease illumination of both rooms to 20 percent, please." The computer chirped in compliance, and the lights dimmed into an intimate semi-darkness. Emma couldn't help but felt grateful for it and her embarrassment diminished at least by a degree.

He kissed her then and started to peel her dress off her again. This time she didn't protest and let the garment fall from her body to the ground and pool around her feet. He helped her step out of it and tried not to stare at her curves as if his eyes might fall out, though his sexuality programming was literally ramming his skull from the inside to speed up and just take her where they were standing so pressed together on the floor. He made himself ignore the ever more urging prompts, so he could concentrate on her needs and held his desires in check - at least tried to do everything to do so.

He kissed her, while he slid a hand to her bra and undid the clasp with a single motion. Her eyes snapped open in utter surprise, and she broke away "Wow, you're practised!"

He considered the statement for a second then shook his head nonchalantly "Not really. However, I did study the possible clasps of bras before to be prepared."

She chuckled and shook her head disbelievingly then kissed the surprise away from his lips. He then pressed his palms over her bladebones and gently slid the bra from her back and shoulders forward. Despite the warmth of his hands, her skin became goosebumped at the sensual touch as he slid the garment off her arms never breaking their kiss and let it fall to the ground. By the time she reached for the fastenings of his pants, her hands were trembling. He slid his hands down her sides, following the feminine curves of her body, palms brushing the sides of her panty, then he reached around and did the job for her: he undid his trousers. Her breath was caught as he let her push his pants down, and she sighed into the long kiss with unsuppressible excitement.

The garment fell to the ground, and he pulled her hips against his to let her feel how much he wanted her. She moaned at the sensation and broke away to sigh "Oh, god!" then kissed him again holding him tightly by the waist. He slid his hands up her back and shoulders, then reaching around, took her face into his hands pushing his fingers into her long hair. He pulled her mouth even closer teeth clattering as he pushed his tongue into her mouth even deeper.

She slid her hands to his butt and pulled him to her, in response, he moved his hands down her body once again and hooking his thumbs into her panty, he started to pull it down. Her breathing quickened and her pulse spiked as he let her last piece of garment fall to the ground and he put his hands to her now bare hips. He broke away for a moment "It's your turn now..." he whispered gazing intensely into her eyes. She swallowed hard, and he self-consciously added "It is worth mentioning that whatever you see now or will be about to see in a moment's time is just the system defaults. Most of these values are adjustable. For instance, most of my measures or my follicle production rate. To your requirements. Of course, between predefined ranges that is."

Her jaw dropped "Serious?" she blurted in a thin voice dumbstruck.

He glanced away a little uncomfortable "Of course. I would not tease you with SUCH a thing."

She chuckled in wonder "Am I the luckiest gal in the universe or what." she blurted again.

He smiled shyly "I don't know about that. However, I will endeavour to make you feel that way."

She smiled tenderly and stroked his cheek. Then looked at him still a little worried and asked the one question she was most anxious about "What if we screw up, Deadpan? I mean, what if it'll be really very-very bad? How are we gonna go on? Are we gonna break up? Or keep on trying or..."

"Em..." he took her hand from his face into his "Based on our previous attempts at pleasuring each other's bodies, do you seriously believe that it could be 'really very-very bad'? Baby, it does not have to be perfect the first time, however I refuse to let us consummate our bodily relationship with that fear hanging above us that we will 'screw up'. It will be something new. Something unique to us. However, I do believe that it will be something essentially good."

She sighed nodding, knowing he was right "Forgive me I just... it's just I've been married for ten years and..." she shrugged and glanced away now really embarrassed "Though I had a lot of reasons to and many opportunities came along, I was stupid enough never to cheat on him. I ...For eight years, he was the only one and... after that I was alone." she admitted - and just hated herself for bringing this up JUST NOW. Shit, why did she have to ruin the moment every freaking time?!

However, Data reacted in a very surprising way - very much true to himself. He smiled at her cocking his head curiously "Do you really wish me to condemn you for being a faithful lover?"

She finally let on a small smile "No, it's just..."

"Or you feel that what we're about to do is... unethical in some fashion."

"No!" she shook her head firmly "It is over. It IS only on paper."

"So then what makes you doubt yourself?" he asked smiling forgivingly.

She chuckled shaking her head, not seeing now how she could have doubted anything: "I don't know, I call on syntheholic influence, your honor, Mr. Judge!"

"You do require that chemistry lesson, it would seem!"

She planted a small kiss on his lips "Later, Deadpan." she whispered and claiming his mouth, she pushed her hands into his boxers at his hips and slid them down. With their chit-chatting, his arousal lessened just enough that she could slide the garment off of him without any adjustments. He pulled her to him, and she feeling his nude body against hers kissed him even harder.

They stumbled out from among the heaps of clothing on the floor into his sleeping area. Seeing his cat in the middle of the bed, Data broke away from her lips for a moment "Spot, we'll require the bed!"

"I don't care about the bed!" Emma moaned, and kissed him deeply again.

Yes, why not? He could pick her up and enter her from below. Or drive her against the wall until she screams from pleasure. Or just lie her on the ground... No, no, none of those positions would be sufficiently comfortable for her! They needed to get used to each other before engaging in anything so extreme. - However, the thought itself was hot enough to make his sexuality programming prompt him furiously for control! But it was not yet time! He needed to...

The result of his internal struggle was some more furious kissing and their landing on their sides on the bed mercifully beside and not on top of a very sleepy AND cranky Spot. The cat left her napping place with a loud hiss of resentment and disappeared in the working area.

"Poor girl!" Emma breathed as he turned her on her back and lay above her.

"Don't worry... I'll conciliate her with some tuna... tomorrow..." he told her between kisses.

"Good that you added that, or I'd have the impression that you would jump up any minute to feed her. Ah..." she told him in one breath as he started to kiss her neck and ear.

He looked at her and put a forefinger on her lips "Hush now, Ms. Jones! No teasing in our bed!" and to give emphasis of his statement, he reached between the two of them and gently brushed a finger against her wetness. It was a feather-light touch, but it made her moan in pleasure.

"Ah... you said no teasing! Oh! Oh, god!"

"No verbal teasing then to be accurate enough to your liking, Ms. Jones!"

"Yes, sir..." she told him on a breathless whisper.

He took his finger away from her making her squirm under his hips helplessly for a moment, then gave her a lopsided grin, his eyes sparkled with enthusiasm and mirth, and in a moment, he disappeared from her view - but she could feel very well where he was.

His lips left a wet trail on her skin wherever he kissed her. She vaguely thought that he had a wish of kissing literally every inch of her skin. He went from her neck over her collarbone then down between her breasts. He made a mental map of her skin in his mind, discovering each little birthmark or unevenness of her skin - and all her reactions she gave for his touching them. She was so human! And so beautiful! Every part of her body suggested the profound mixture of spontaneity and harmony of nature - so much at odds with his own body shouting of a premeditated quality. He was just hoping that for a short time when their bodies would finally join, he could forget about how far he was from the one thing he was coveting most through dissolving into oneness with her humanity.

He slowly reached her hips - by which time, she was squirming under him gasping for breath. When he started kissing her at the one place that he knew she was the most sensitive, she moaned silently gripping the bedclothes around her. He went on pleasuring her, letting his programming take some of the control he dared not to give completely over to it yet. He needed to make sure she was in compliance with everything he would be doing, and didn't want to have even a fraction of a second of hesitating in stopping, if she gave any sign of him doing something not to her liking.

...It was well after the specified amount of time when according to his programming he should have felt her climax, when he finally decided that he needed a change in technique, but most of all, needed to check whether she was alright. From her intense reactions, he was sure, she was close, VERY close, yet something kept her from coming. He needed to understand, so he raised himself from between her legs and putting his fingers to her wetness, he lay above her to catch her gaze.

As she opened her eyes, he could very well see that they were hazy with desire, and she moaned helplessly looking into his eyes. "Ah... I'm sorry..." she whispered "It-It's so good... It's so good, baby, but I just can't... I'm so sorry..." she whispered struggling hard with the powerful sensations and against the frustration her overwhelming sense of inadequateness made her feel.

"Shh..." he kissed her on the lips tenderly and went on drawing gentle circles with his fingers around her center "Don't rush yourself, baby! We're here. We have time. I certainly won't get tired! Just close you eyes..." he whispered, and she obeyed with a breathless whimper as he nuzzled her ear with his nose and went on in a soft voice as he increased the speed of his caress "Let yourself take the time. Let yourself give in to it! You're very close now! Give yourself over to it!"

And it was as if his words cast a spell on her body, her nails sank into his arm and back, she arched her back and stopped breathing for a few mindless moments of pleasure. He drew out the last bit of her climax from her gently and then just left his hand where it rested between her legs in her wetness. He waited for her breathing to calm down and when it did, she weakly turned into him and slid her arms around his body. He obeyed her unspoken wish and cuddled her close, finally taking his hand away from her center. And it was in that tender moment that understanding began to dawn on him. After a few seconds, he noticed that she was silently weeping - and he felt his heart break under it.

He raised his head and gently stroked her cheek wiping her rolling tears.

"Thank you..." she whispered in such a grateful voice that he felt his own eyes fill with tears. He needed to ask.

"Em... Was this ...your first?" his own voice seemed thin in his ears.

She sniffed and turned her gaze away ashamed "No, it... it has happened before... sometimes..."

It was a peculiar mixture of emotions that coursed through him hearing that one word. Sometimes... He felt his own tears roll down his cheeks from such a profound sadness that he rarely ever felt. Sometimes. He did also feel happy that he of all men could make her feel that way! And he could make sure to always make her feel that way as long as they were a couple. But there was something else as well. And the more times he replayed that one word over and over in his head, this thought just covered his mind like a black cloak taking the place of all other feelings: she was married for ten years, eight of which she spent living with her husband. Sometimes! Eight years, and that bastard never cared enough to notice! Sometimes! He felt as if pure fire rushed through his mental pathways! And he hoped that the man would NEVER come anywhere near them for his sake!

She reached up and wiped his tears away with her thumb, snapping him out of his crippling reverie. He saw her wistful smile. "I'm so sorry to ruin this night for you." her clarity of thought returned and with it a little bit of her shield of self-irony as well "I wanted it to be fun and now... here we are, two miserable cry-babies blubbering because of me."

"Oh, shut up..." he whispered and crushed her into a tight embrace. He pressed his lips to her cheek for a long moment, then raised his head and looked deep into her eyes "I promise you! It will ALWAYS be this way! Always, Emma! I promise you!" he told her in a firm voice.

She stroked his cheek again and smiled a sad smile "You don't need to promise, Data. I know you're a great guy. I just don't want you to feel obliged to make up for something that you had no responsibility in." she somehow suddenly felt bad about this whole. For ruining his night, for crying, for making him cry - or just simply because he now learned more about her in a few moments than anyone ever knew just by paying so full attention to her - and it was terrifying...

Data tried to get a grip on his emotions running wild and took a deep breath to calm himself. He then tried to smile and leaning above her gave her a kiss on the forehead. He then cocked his head to one side "I understand that for ladies, this is a process of learning and practising, rather than an automatic sensation. Therefore I suggest taking a refreshment course."

She laughed softly "With the best instructor ever? Oh, I'd be silly to refuse! But..." she combed through his dishevelled hair "What about you? We should be paying attention to your needs as well! I want to give you pleasure the way you have given me!"

He smiled and taking her hand kissed her fingers one by one then looked at her with sparkling eyes "Do you think that giving you pleasure does not give me pleasure? Do you think that seeing you feeling so overwhelmed by what I'm doing does not give me pleasure? Do you think feeling you under my fingers, under my lips does not give me pleasure?" and he slipped a hand between her legs again drawing a sound out of her that was halfway between a moan and a sigh - and she was again lost under his touch.


	6. Chapter 6

Data lay on his back in the darkness and lost himself in the sensation of listening to Emma's silent breathing. She'd fallen asleep in his arms, with her head on his chest, and her arms tightly around him, but after two hours and twenty-three minutes, she stirred and rolled to her back. He had arranged the blanket around and over her so she would be warm and comfortable, and then he just lay there next to her.

He was thinking about activating his dream programming, but he had such a wonderful afterglow that he didn't want to break it. He just wanted to enjoy it as long as he could.

He lazily replayed every moment of the last few hours in his head. The way she finally gave herself over to the sensations he was making her feel. The way it felt to finally enter her... How she clutched her arms around him, how her nails dug into his skin, how she just couldn't catch her breath... And oh, she held him tight, as tight as her body did - he was actually surprised by the intense sensation of her body's embrace so firm around him, but then he understood that two years of solitude may tense up a lady's muscles. He was cautious then not to hurt her and advanced only in tiny thrusts deeper and deeper until he finally felt his way inside of her fully up to the hilt. Then she clasped her legs around his waist as if to keep him from leaving her body, to hold him there with her forever. And she stared into his eyes with such an intense gaze, he had never before seen - they shared a perfect moment of complete unity, the one he so longed for. There was no movement, no sound, only the sensation that they were one body, one soul in that eternity of a second.

But their desires urged them to continue, and he, feeling her tense up around him tightly, started to move. Oh, what a sweet struggle it was to fight his own urges and desires to always preserve at least a fragment of rationality to pay attention to her slightest of reactions. But it was worth the effort! When he reached down and started to gently stroke her, she shut her eyes with a helpless whimper. And this time, she needed a little less time to reach her summit - and it lasted a little longer. Their practice of a few hours prior did seem to pay off. When he saw her regaining her sanity, and he knew she didn't require his complete attention any longer, he finally let himself go and came with a soundless shudder following her.

It was different. Very different from anything he ever knew about bodily pleasures. Once she'd told him that there was a difference between having sex and making love. He didn't understand it then - and though his intellect still couldn't grasp how one act could have such different meanings, his emotions, his body somehow comprehended it now. He felt he needed to let her know then how much she meant to him, how much their night together meant to him, how much her trust meant to him. But he was lost for words. They just lay there in each other's arms staring into each other's eyes spellbound, neither knowing how to break away - neither wanting to break away. But finally, exhaustion caught up on Emma, and she fainted into a deep sleep. He then gathered her into his arms and held her close, stroking her hair for a few hours until she finally rolled over.

He heard Spot stirring in the neighbour room, and he got up cautiously so as not to wake Emma. He put his boxers back on - his modesty programming seemed in need of some adjustment, taking the fact into consideration that he had a lover now, and he didn't need to be embarrassed of his nudity in front of her anymore - and walked out into the workspace area.

Spot met him in the middle of the room and started a complaining meowing for not letting her sleep with them tonight.

"Shhh, Spot!" he whispered and picked her up cuddling her lovingly "We'll require some privacy in our bed in the future, but you're still welcome to join us afterwards. Come." and he took her back to the bed.

He lay down and the cat climbed on his bare chest - then started to sharpen her nails on his skin. "Spot!" he whispered trying to sound reprimanding "I've told you, you must stop doing that! I know you're used to it that I don't get hurt, but if you think you may do this on anybody else, they would get seriously wounded!"

Spot inflected a few more scratches on him before obeying, just to let him know who the boss was around here, then finally scooped up on his chest. He stroked the back of her neck "Good cat..." he whispered, and she responded with some soft purring.

He smiled turning his head and looking over to Emma. She was deeply asleep, breathing quietly through her nose, her chest heaved, her hair was all around her face - everywhere on his pillow. If there was heaven, it certainly must be like this! He mused on this a little more. The Captain told him, he was a culture of one. And most cultures had some sort of a notion of a perfect place, which was nothing but happiness. If he could choose, he decided he chose this as his culture's happy place.

After another hour and a half, Emma again stirred and rolled over. Her sleep turned shallow, and she moaned softly as she reached out for him and cuddled up to him. Her hand however met Spot's fur, and she mumbled frowning, barely opening her eyes, still half asleep "Mmm... Is that Spot I'm feeling on your chest... or you did do some adjustments on your system default values while I was asleep?"

As a reply, the cat started to purr again as Emma faintly stroked her a few times.

"It IS Spot." he answered "And you amaze me at every waking moment."

"Mmm...now, do I?" she mumbled and nuzzled her face into his shoulder and arm resting her hand next to Spot on his chest. Her eyes closed again.

"You are not even fully conscious, and you tease me even in that state of mind." he explained.

"Hhhmm..." she smiled "No teasing come to my mind now, Deadpan. Disappointed?" she sighed sleepily.

He leaned to her and gave her a kiss on the forehead "Never."

She smiled falling back to sleep "Hmm... I love you, baby. Sleep tight." She said it so naturally as if it was the way they had always said good night. And she was asleep the next moment.

He was so stunned that he even forgot to breathe for over a full minute. A very unusual prompt from his body temperature sensors made him realize, his resources were so completely overtaken by what he'd heard that even his basic functions missed a few heartbeats - including sustaining temperature by breathing.

He replayed her words in his head a few times to make sure he heard them well. He did hear them well. Did she really mean those words for HIM? Was she aware of the fact that HE was lying next to her? She did say 'sleep tight' to him which might suggest the contrary, but she had said goodnight in this fashion before - making him feel so human, so one of the many he always so longed to be! And they had been talking before even about Spot - and he doubted any other lovers of hers possessed a feline named Spot.

She did say the words. She did say them to him. Did she mean them? She'd always been so adamant about having a crush and not being in love - except for that one occasion with his mother tonight. Should he ask her tomorrow? He tried to calculate the possible outcome of such a conversation and decided he wouldn't want to face the possibility of her taking her words back by playing them on fatigue. No. That cannot happen! Nobody ever said those words to him! Nobody ever expressed affection for him in such an explicit fashion! And now that he had those words for himself, he was not prepared to give them up! He would treasure them as his most precious possessions - he placed the recording of her few words under double guard against accidental deletion - and decided he would NEVER ask! If she really felt that way, she would say the words again - if not, he still had those words for himself and the belief that for tonight, for a singular night of his eternal life, they were true!

* * *

At around dawn, after Spot had left from his chest, he finally decided to dream at least for a short time. He slid closer to Emma so their bodies touched and closed his eyes.

A few moments later, she woke and sleepily tried to get her bearings. When she felt him pressed close to her naked body, the memories of the night flooded her mind. Oh, god, was he amazing! In all and every way possible! She couldn't suppress the smile that crawled on her lips: oh, she would pay him back!

She turned to him where he lay there on his back, and propped herself up above his sleeping face "I wonder if I can influence your dreams." she whispered then lowered her lips to his cheek. She kissed her way over his jawline to his chin, while her hand started to explore the curves of his chest. She kissed the tip of his nose then went over to his lips - he still didn't even stir. Maybe his dreaming couldn't be changed according to what was happening to him in reality, and she realized that if he was so completely unconscious and powerless while dreaming, it must have taken a lot of trust from him to let her be with him during that time. She swept the mussed up hair from his forehead then kissed him on the cheek again lovingly.

She decided to go on with her explorations. Even if he felt nothing from it, it still may be a nice thing to wake up to your lover kissing you.

Emma was wrong. Data's dreams did take very interesting curves as she started kissing him, even if he didn't react visibly. As usual in the last few weeks, his dreams started with the play, so they were on the holodeck. However, instead of playing, they were in his character's bed, and for some unfathomable reason, he didn't have the strength to even raise his arm, while she was kissing him, so he just let her take the lead and his eyes closed. When they opened again, he was still in a bed, still in darkness, and he still felt Emma kissing him over his chest, and he was not able to decide whether he was dreaming or awake, until he checked his processes and found that the session of his dream program had terminated. It was a disorienting sensation, but somehow he didn't worry about it, his resources were otherwise occupied as he felt her lips travel over his stomach.

His pulse ran wild as his sexuality programming demanded to have control again! He was still too disoriented to deny it this time, and he just gave himself over to her kisses and caresses. His hand came up to her head, and he stroked her silky hair - he loved the feel of it under his fingers! By the time her kisses reached his hips, he was fully prepared for her, and as she eased him out of his damned boxers, he idly wondered how to take her this time: should he just pull her up to him and turn her under him? or sit her atop him? His mind was so foggy with these pleasurable thoughts that finally she decided for him: she simply took him into her mouth.

His eyes flew open: he was completely unprepared for the sensation of her delicate lips so tightly around him and her hot wet tongue pressed firmly onto him! Nobody had ever done this for him before, and though he was always curious about the particular technique, he never dared to ask anybody to conduct such an act of pleasure for him. But she seemed overly enthusiastic, and his last remaining ounces of control was hanging on a thread anyways, so with a grunt, he just gave himself over to the sensations and let her do it.

And did she know what she was doing! In a matter of minutes, he lay there helplessly squirming under her, his hands clutched the bedclothes, and this time she could very well hear his otherwise silent sounds of pleasure. She knew he was very close and also felt that he really let himself enjoy this - and she felt a measure of pride to be able to drive him so crazy. She knew he was very strong mentally, and if he wanted to, he could suppress the strongest, most urging arousal too. But this time, he just let her make him fly, and it felt wonderful that he did!

When he finally came, she welcomed the sensation with anticipation and curiosity. But what she expected never happened. She did feel his body tense up, but no other physical evidence told her that he climaxed. He didn't even whimper. When she felt his muscles relax a little, she started to let him go, but then his pleading voice took her by surprise "No, no, please continue! Please!" he begged her, and she knew better than to ask before going on with her ministrations. In a few moments, his body tensed up again, and she got the impression that he actually came a second time, now with a soft grunt escaping his lips.

She slowly let him go with a final kiss and then crawled up to him to prop herself up on her elbow on the pillow next to him. He simply cuddled tightly to her turning into her, without even opening his eyes, making her, almost demandingly so, to put her arms around his shoulders and hold him close. She stroked his hair and planted an occasional kiss on the top of his head. He tried to crawl even closer. He seemed to need this tenderness almost as much as he needed the pleasure a few moments before, and for some reason, she was moved by his silent clinging to her so much so that her breath was caught by the feeling.

After a few minutes, he finally sighed, and as she let him go to lie next to him, he rolled on his back. He stared into the darkness for a few moments as Emma took his hand. He squeezed it as tightly as he could without hurting her and then twined his fingers through hers.

How was he going to work today? How was he going to be able to let go of her? Or just to leave their warm bed? How was he going to survive long hours without even seeing her, let alone touching her?! How HAD he so far?! The thoughts were almost like some kind of a feedback loop, but he was not afraid of ending up malfunctioning - he had no resources for that with so many a thought about her and about the two of them.

He then suddenly heard her voice "May I ask you a question?" she sounded a little unsure despite herself.

He took a calm breath before answering "You know you may ask anything. Anything you like." he told her on a reverent whispered.

When she did ask, her voice was reluctant and even a little embarrassed "Did you... did you actually come twice, or it was just my imagination and inexperience with your body?"

He was instantly snapped out of his warm afterglow and felt his insides suddenly gripped by fear. He knew this question would be coming... He turned and looked at her through the darkness. He could tell from her unfocused eyes that she could not see the details of his face, and he tried to keep his voice as neutral as possible when he asked the one question he dreaded the most. "Does it seem repulsive to you?"

She blinked shocked "Repulsive? No, why would it?"

"Because it is not the default way a human male functions." he told her in a regretful voice.

He saw her sudden frown: "And who the fu-hell cares about THAT, Deadpan?" she blurted on a low, really confused voice.

"I... I was not sure how you would take that... that my climax is very different from the human male climax - at least in physicality. The pleasure I suppose is similar."

She propped herself up on her elbow and leaned to him running her hand over his chest "I noticed it's different." she said and he could hear her smiling - and he could tell she did not comprehend how deep his inhibitions ran concerning this topic. She was just curious, and somehow it made him relax a little. She went on in a low voice "I expected you to..." she grew surprisingly timid and silent "ya know... but you didn't..." she cleared her throat.

He could see her embarrassed smile through the darkness and he tried to keep his voice as neutral as he could "The physical tokens of a human male's pleasure is not part of the default programming. There would be no biological point of it. And though I attempted to emulate the reactions of an average human male during our first coupling, I found it unreasonable to include this as well... However, if you feel the need of that to be comfortable with the thought of having me as a partner, I may produce..."

"Hush, you silly..." she put a hand over his lips and kissing his cheek then his neck, she cuddled to him and lay her head on his chest. He held her close, and she sighed smiling "Baby, how many times do I need to tell you that I want YOU, not some 'average human male'? I want to get to know you in mind as much as in body. I don't care how a human male would normally react - believe me, I may know more about that than you do actually - I want to know how YOU would react to what I'm doing, so I can learn how to give pleasure to you. Now, how would I get to that if you kept trying to live up to some imagined 'average human male' fantasy?"

He took a few moments to answer, because suddenly he felt ashamed. She was right, but it was always so much easier to just try to do as he supposed that he was expected to. Sometimes, he wasn't even sure what it meant to be himself or how he was supposed to express his needs. But he had to try to give her what she asked for. So he started in a very embarrassed voice "When you... when you gave pleasure to me just now... It was a way... you did it in such a fashion... that I have wanted to try for a long while. And never did."

She frowned stunned at this then propped herself up again and looking down at his face, she tried to make out his features - she could only see the shining of his golden eyes sometimes disappearing in the darkness as he blinked. She stroked his hair and cheek tenderly "Looks like, I'm not the only one around here ending up with lousy lovers in the past." she told him in a low voice and wished she could see his reaction because he remained silent. After a long moment, she went on on a lighter tone to lift the suddenly dreary mood "And? Did you like it? Was it the way you imagined it?"

"No! It was significantly better!"

She chuckled "Significantly. Hmmm..." she gave a light kiss on his lips "Then we will do it often, baby."

He smiled in wonder and kissed her on the lips again, this time deeply, tongue thrusting into her mouth as if to seek out his own taste, and he rolled her to her back. When he let her lips go, she barely had any air left in her lungs. "Now I have something different in mind." he whispered into her ear, and taking her hand, he put it between the two of them.

She took in a sharp breath at the hot, hard sensation "No need for recuperation?" she asked surprised.

He just shook his head "Uh-um." and though she couldn't make it out, he had a really mischievous smile on his lips then his silhouette disappeared and from then on she could only feel where he was.

"Oh, am I the luckiest gal in the universe! Oh... my... god!"


	7. Chapter 7

Beverly just finished the morning briefing of the Alpha shift of sickbay and was talking to nurse Ogawa, when Emma walked in with a joyous smile on her face. Bev exchanged glances with Alyssa, who couldn't suppress the small smile that crept on her face: she knew very well what it meant to be late but coming in with SUCH a smile! She'd worn that smile too when she'd started to go out with Andrew who later became her husband.

She smiled at Beverly "Talk to you later."

Bev nodded and as Alyssa left, she turned to Emma who still looked around quite absently "May I have a word with you."

Emma looked at her surprised frowning "Without even saying hi? Boy, am I in for trouble." she grimaced.

"You bet, you're over half an hour late." Bev told her reprimandingly then motioned with her finger to turn around and go outside.

Emma obeyed, and they went into Beverly's office next door to sickbay. When the door closed, Emma opened her mouth to explain, but Bev was faster.

"What in heaven's name are you doing?! This is the third time in the month!"

"Shit, Bev, have you had embers for breakfast that you're spitting fire? Chill out! I'm just late, it's not like I killed someone!"

"Stop being so ignorant about all this! What am I going to write into your evaluation? Have you thought about that?"

Emma spread her arms and shrugged "How would I know? You're the Chiefing Leading Main Doctor around here. You're the one who should know." then her smile betrayed her teasing.

But Bev didn't feel like being teased that morning - she had a briefing before her about the new mission of the Enterprise and not even one bit of hers felt good about it at all: "It's CMO. And you ought to be concerned about what your evaluation will say, if you don't want to be off this ship soon."

Emma crossed her arms sceptically taking her stand "Tyeah, like you had a myriad of nurses who can be trusted with the job of a doctor around here."

Bev glanced away "It's not about how you do your job." she winced, because Emma was right. They were short of well-prepared doctors, and though Emma had a decade of technological knowledge to make up for, she picked up most of it in a month's time. And Bev did trust her with doctor's tasks despite the restriction from Starfleet that she could only do the job of nurses until she proved her knowledge at the Medical Differential Exam.

Emma looked at her with her usual little smug smirk "You bet it isn't about how I do my job. Cause you and I, we both know well that I do a freaking awesome job. And if I didn't have to do that doggone exam, you should be fearing for your sorry little three-lettered title, missy, cause I'd be running on the next election for it." Emma stared into her eyes with challenge for one instant before a laugh blurted through her lips followed by a series of giggles. Bev tried to remain as serious and annoyed as she had been when they'd walked into her office, but the absurdity of Emma's teasing just took the better of her. She chuckled and covered her face with her palm.

"Oh, god. Nothing feels better in the earliest hours of the morning than realizing I have a competitor. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I'll watch my back from now on." she teased back chuckling one last time then shook her head "Em. For god's sake. Try to be on time. Doctor Powell wants your head, and you know it. If you give him a good place to attack..."

Emma's expression turned seriously apologetic "I know, Bev. I know. I'm really sorry. I really don't mean to put you into such a horrible situation with oversleeping all the time but... but today was different..." then without any further explanation, she tiredly collapsed into a chair.

Bev went to half sit on her desk in front of her "What is it, dear? You came in with the smile of an angel today. I think even Alyssa noticed."

A smile flickered over Emma's features and she nodded "Yeah, I..." she shook her head and smiled again a helplessly happy smile "Actually, WE... ya know..." she shrugged, and it finally dawned on Bev.

"Oh, you're not saying that you..."

"Yeah, we did..."

"Oh, wow! Finally!" Bev put a hand on Emma's shoulder "I'm so happy for you!"

Emma laughed softly "Oh, Bev, I'm so happy for myself too! Oh, if you just knew how AMAZING he is! How attentive, how sexy, how attractive, ah... you wouldn't even believe it, if I told you all of it!" she shrugged not even knowing how to begin.

Bev's eyes widened as the realization dawned on her that Emma DID actually want to tell her 'all of it' and, she held her hands up defensively "No, no, no details! Please! You know how I feel about Data. He is a friend, and I almost literally watched him growing up! I don't think I can listen to such stories about him..."

"Oh, you've no idea what you're missing out on..." she buried her face in her palms and remained like that for a few moments. Beverly studied her strange posture and tried to guess what was going on - because it was plain that something WAS going on apart from the fact that they finally consummated their relationship. And her sixth sense didn't disappoint her, when Emma reluctantly spoke from her palms in a muffled voice "But there's something else..."

After a few moments, when she could see that Emma needed some encouragement, Beverly finally asked "What?"

Emma dropped her hands on her lap "I eh..." she fidgeted nervously in the chair, and Bev frowned at the sudden change of mood "Well, I... I think I ...told him something."

"Em, am I gonna have to use force to pull every word out of you? What did you tell him?"

Emma chuckled nervously "No..." she shrugged and then suddenly pushed herself out of the chair and started to pace around aimlessly. After a few moments, she finally admitted barely even glancing towards Bev "Well, I think I told him... that I love him."

"...Eh... You think?"

"Ah, yeah... I was very sleepy... almost asleep... But I'm pretty sure I did, yeah... It just slipped me..."

Beverly blinked for a few moments trying to find the question most appropriate from the hundred that suddenly popped into mind "I suppose your restless pacing means you haven't done that before."

Em turned to her annoyed and frowned "No, of course not!"

"Of course not?" Bev grimaced uncomfortably "You mean you didn't mean it?"

"I haven't said that!" Emma told her suddenly frowning irritated.

"So what's wrong? You told him that for the first time and you meant it, where's the catch?" Bev asked puzzled.

Emma glanced at her frustrated and slowly taking the few steps that separated them, she started to explain counting down her doubts on her fingers nervously "For one, it's too early. We've been going out for only two months. And we don't know each other! I mean he barely knows anything about me. And these things take time and..."

"And, and, and what?"

Emma gazed away very embarrassed "...and he didn't say anything." she added in a very silent voice. A very uncomfortable silence descended on them for a long moment. She shook her head swallowing hard looking for words to say - and didn't dare to even glance at Bev to see her reaction "I-I fell asleep almost right after saying it... But I'm kinda sure I'd have woken up to his voice - you know I'm not a good sleeper... And he didn't say anything in the morning either..."

Beverly winced trying to figure what on Earth she could say to THAT - it was plain that Emma was really hurt by this... "Maybe he didn't hear it." she tried but knew right away it was a dumb guess...

Em looked at her annoyed "Sure. Data, whose ears are better than the average dog's, didn't hear his girlfriend saying 'I love you'. Come on, you'll have to try harder to reassure me than THIS, Bev."

"Okay, okay, fine, you're right!" Beverly pushed back her long strands with her fingers that had fallen into her eyes "Well... there could be a million reasons! Remember, you're his first serious relationship. Maybe he's not ready."

"Well, Bev, I'm not ready either! But I freaking said it!" Em retorted finally showing that she was really upset about all of this.

"Em, listen. You've gotta give him time. You keep saying that he is like a teenager. Maybe it's too early..."

"That's what I'm saying too! It's too early! I keep telling myself the same thing! Emma, it's too early; what the hell are you doing?" she asked herself in ultimate sarcasm then laughed a forced laugh "Well, this gal was not listening to common sense last night for sure...oh..." she moaned frustrated and put her forehead in her palm shaking her head.

"Em..." Beverly stood from her desk, and took her by the shoulders to make her look at her. When Emma finally did, she took her hands gently in hers, and Emma did let her, though her expression remained troubled. Bev smiled encouragingly "You said it, and he hasn't. So what? He WILL for sure. When he's ready." she told her in a soft voice. Emma's expression remained stubborn, and Bev gave her hand a gentle squeeze "No, listen! Don't tell me you don't see it. It's in every one of his gestures toward you. Every look. Every word. I've known him for a very long time. And never have I seen him looking at anybody quite the same way he looks at you. Why he doesn't say the words, I can't tell. But it's not a competition, Em. Let him take his time."

Emma shrugged a little considering. Actually, what Beverly said made sense. "I know, I know... It's just sometimes... I feel so unsure... about myself, about this whole..."

"Unsure? After a night that you just wanted to describe to me in every detail even knowing that I really, REALLY don't want a description? After which you came in with THAT smile?" Beverly chuckled "Come on, dear, you need to try harder if you want to convince me that you have no clue about his feelings for you."

After a moment, Emma chuckled with her then shrugged again "Shit, you're always so right. I hate that so much!" They laughed.

"Bad news that you'll need to put up with it for a few more years, if of course you stop being late!"

They laughed again and then Emma was the one who squeezed her friend's hands "Bev... ya know that I'm not the sentimental kinda type... ya know that... but... I don't think I can ever repay you for what you're doing for me. When I left Epsilon, I had no place to go, no family, no friends. You gave me a home, friendship, acceptance and... and I found this incredible guy here, where you brought me. I'll never be able to thank you enough."

Bev smiled and squeezed her hand "I'm glad that you look as happy as I hoped you would be when you came to the Enterprise." she told her friend softly. And there was something that just made her heart sink at that thought. A sudden surge of remorse washed over her to which she'd not been prepared. "I'm really happy for your happiness." she said in a silent voice, but her expression turned gloomy.

Emma noticed it and frowned: "What is it?"

Beverly glanced away trying to make the right decision "There's something ...something you..." she gazed back at her finally deciding to break a few rules "Our mission, Em. It's classified, but I have to tell you..." but then the door of the office opened, and Data stepped in with an unearthly smile on his face.

"May I come in or am I disturbing you?"

Emma let Bev's hand go and turned to him fully smiling back with the same smile he had on his lips. Then she turned her head back to Beverly questioningly, waiting for her to finish whatever she'd wanted to say - but Beverly knew the moment was gone. "No, no, just come in." she said and took a few steps toward the door, while Data wandered in and met Emma mid-room - they had eyes only for each other. It was so nice to see, that Bev's heart sank even more.

Data then looked at Beverly with a small, kind smile "Doctor Crusher. Geordi is sending you this." he told her and taking the few steps separating them, gave her a padd.

"Oh, yes, the study on dilithium we were talking about earlier." she pressed a few buttons checking the paper around and then looked up at him "He could have sent this to me via the computer. You really didn't have to tire with bringing it to me."

"As you might well know, Doctor, I can never grow tired. Besides, I offered to bring it to you." his eyes travelled back to the smiling Emma, giving the impression to Bev that it was almost second nature for him to lock his gaze with hers.

"I understand." Beverly nodded knowingly and then glanced at her friend "Em, five minutes." she told her strictly then left the two of them alone.

"That was really considerate of you to bring that padd over..." Emma started to complement on his politeness - and wanting to finish in a teasing, but Data simply stepped to her, took her into his arms and kissed her on the lips in one motion. In a short moment, Emma barely had any more doubts in her head. When they broke away, she felt light-headed and had to hold on to him "I think we agreed about not fooling around on duty, Mr. Commander." she whispered.

"That is correct, Ms. Jones. However, I believe we need to adjust our rules of interaction."

"Is that so?" she smiled and brushed the tip of her nose to his.

"Yes. I'd like you to be aware of the fact that I'm experiencing a very peculiar phenomenon I never before did."

"Really?"

He nodded and went on seemingly very matter-of-factly "The absence of your sensory input patterns on my mental pathways when you are not in my vicinity has become more pronounced now that we have consummated our bodily relationship. Therefore I suggest a change in our customs."

Emma smiled lovingly as she brushed the edge of his hair on his neck with the tips of her fingers "You missed me? Already? But we barely said goodbye half an hour ago."

His expression turned very serious "An eternity for an android." he explained raising his eyebrows.

Emma's lips parted as the realization hit her "You perceive time differently than I do."

He stared into her eyes and then nodded slowly.

She smiled in wonder and then stroked his cheek lovingly "You know sometimes, it's really hard to remember that you're not a human guy." she told him shyly. Seeing his stunned expression though, she quickly added "I-I didn't mean to hurt you with this! I hope you don't take it that way!"

"Hurt?" he shook his head amazed at the thought. For a long moment, he wasn't even able to find words to express how much that one sentence meant to him! "That was perhaps the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me!" he told her moved. And she smiled that tender smile she gave only to him.

Whenever she looked at him like that, with such care in her eyes, he always thought that though he might never achieve to be a human as it is, but probably these moments were the closest he would ever FEEL to be human. He kissed her again then and was not sure yet how he would let her go. She kissed him back with the same enthusiasm circling his neck with her arms, and she was pressed so close to him that he could feel her heartbeat.

But before they could lose themselves in their passion, his combadge went off:

"All senior staff to the observation lounge." Riker's voice came through the channel, and they broke away. She looked up at him breathless, and her heart skipped a beat as he gazed into her eyes with that overwhelming devotion.

"You need to..." she whispered.

"Yes." but made no motion of letting her go, instead bent to her again and pressed his lips to hers.

She smiled into the kiss - yeah, maybe Bev was more right than either of them thought. Finally, she broke away and stepped out of his arms "Don't be late, baby." she told him in a concerned voice.

He glanced away with an unreadable expression as if he was thinking about saying something then looked back at her and just told her "See you later."

She nodded with a small smile, and he left.


	8. Chapter 8

Juliana sat in the observation lounge ten minutes before the mission briefing was to start and watched the people slowly gathering. First, the Captain with a high ranking Starfleet officer arrived - Juliana recognized his insignia as that of an Admiral's - then Geordi and Riker followed by Deanna and Beverly. She knew them from a few years before, they were a fine crew and as she was watching them talking to each other smiling so kindly, even lovingly, at one another, she thought about how grateful she was to them for becoming the surrogate family of her son. She knew they had given him a lot of love, attention, and care, things she never had a chance to give him. Data arrived the last, only a minute before 8 o'clock, and he and Juliana greeted each other with a warm smile, but he sat at his usual place, next to Geordi and not next to her - a sad reminder for Juliana that he belonged to them not to her.

But she didn't have time to contemplate the loss of a past she could never have had with her son because when everybody was settled (Juliana next to Beverly) the briefing began, and the Captain introduced the two new comers:

"You all know Juliana Tainer, a geologist who would be helping us on this mission and most of you have met Admiral Seth McKinnley who joined us on the Enterprise a few hours ago. He will explain our mission in more detail."

The Admiral was an elderly man well over eighty and had a strangely slouching posture looking at them with his head bowed to the side, and Juliana felt a chill crawling up her spine on looking into his cold gray - almost white - eyes. He tried to straighten his back as much as he could while sitting in the chair and pushed his pointed chin forward:

"I believe we are missing one other person from this briefing before we can commence, Picard." he remarked offhandedly, and his voice didn't leave a better impression in Juliana's mind than anything else about his personality so far...

"Yes, she's..." the Captain began, but then the door opened and no other than Emma stepped in.

Everybody looked at her from where they were sitting around the large table, and she looked back at them startled, wide-eyed. Her shoulders dropped, and she sighed frustrated "Okay... What have I done THIS time?" she asked drawing a ripple of chuckle out of the senior staff. Then her eyes wandered to the Admiral and her jaw dropped "Uncle Seth?" she breathed stepping closer to take a better look at the man.

"Oh, you remember me!" the Admiral smiled and invited her in "Come in, my child! Come in! Take a seat." Emma obeyed and checking around the table, she realized she had no chance to sit next to Data who was watching her every move with a small smile on his lips. Juliana on the other hand motioned to the chair next to her invitingly, and finally Emma sat next to her almost at the end of the table. "I'm surprised you remember me." the Admiral remarked in a strangely soft voice very much at odds with his earlier tone "The last time we met you were in your teens. ...Your father was a good friend. His death was a loss to the whole of Starfleet and a personal tragedy to all who were close to him. My condolences for your loss, Emma."

Deanna sharply turned her head toward Emma at this as she felt a surge of chaotic emotions radiating from her. It was a mixture of hatred, anger and repulsion - and underneath all-consuming fear. She could tell Emma was not prepared to be reminded of her father that morning at all. "Thank you." Emma whispered and turned her gaze downward as if to hide her emotions blazing through it.

The Admiral then went on in a professional voice "So as not to waste more time, let me start right away." Emma still had only one thought in her head - What am I doing here? - but was relieved that at least all eyes now turned from her to him as he started to tell the details of their mission: "Some of you might already know that our destination is the Epsilon system, more precisely the planet Epsilon Four. It used to be a Federation Colony, but years ago, it declared independence and..."

His subsequent words were lost as Emma heard only her own heart-beat hammering in her ears. Did she really hear that well? It must be... She looked at Data desperate to catch his gaze, but he was only looking at the Admiral. Curious and interested in the new mission - so very much like him. He probably had no idea how she felt about this all. About going back to the one place she wanted to be the farthest away from! Had he known where they were going? Had he known and simply didn't tell her? She turned towards Beverly - she did want to say something in the morning, just before Data came in. So they all knew. All of them. And said nothing.

Beverly felt her gaze on herself and turned to her with pleading eyes. Emma turned her gaze away and tried hard to calm her racing heart and swallow the tears of frustration and fear that ran to her eyes so suddenly. She tried to grip some fragment of her clarity of thought she desperately needed now: no matter how near they were to Epsilon, they were still in the skies, she was still on the Enterprise. She would not go down. She would simply stay on board.

"...I don't know how much you know about the political changes that occurred since you've left, Lieutenant Jones." she finally heard her name from the Admiral's lips, and she raised her head as if waking from a dream.

"I... I know nothing..." she said in such a low voice that the others barely heard her. And hearing her friend speak in such a thin voice made Beverly feel even worse. She wished she could just hold her hand and tell her it would be alright.

The Admiral's expression turned incredulous "You haven't talked to your husband ever since you left?"

"We only talked about the divorce. A month ago." Emma answered curtly.

"And he said nothing to you about his rise in power?"

Emma looked around taken aback. Rise in power? What the hell was he talking about?! She gazed around nervously. Everybody was looking at her expecting something from her, something she had no idea how to give! It was as if the others were expecting her to admit to her lying and were waiting for her to finally come out with the truth! "Rise in power? I've no idea what you're talking about." she said in a trembling voice and looked at Data almost as if asking for help. Finally, their gazes met - the first time ever since the name Epsilon Four was uttered. But to her complete dismay, he looked the same way the others did! He was expectant just the same as they were! Even you don't believe me, Deadpan? Even you question me?!

The Admiral snorted seemingly disappointed and went on with his explanation "A few weeks ago the former Premier, Nathaniel Hague died. His aeroplane crashed in the mountains near Ethel city. The circumstances are unclear and some unrest started to develop in the wake of the events. However, just before the situation got out of hand, your husband, Edmond Jones seized the power, and he was elected Premier of Epsilon Four. You really didn't know anything about THAT!"

Emma's lips parted in complete astonishment "I didn't." she whispered and shook her head "He didn't say anything about any of that! We talked only about the divorce. We argued for a while, then the signal broke up because of some interference. We haven't talked since and what difference would that make if I knew about his current position? I want nothing from him anymore!" she asked now showing the desperation Deanna could feel oozing from her in waves.

"We need as much information as it's possible to get before we arrive. And you are the most authentic source since you left only two months ago. Your connection to the current Premier is an invaluable asset to us. This is why it's so important that you recall everything you were talking to him about." the Admiral explained in an ice-cold voice.

Emma shook her head confused "I tell you everything you ask, of course, but I can't tell you what I don't know about." she glanced around the table but apart from Juliana's and Bev's sympathetic gaze, she found no backing up - Data just sat there with his usual, professional unreadable expression that left her even more devastated. Beverly felt her heart broke seeing her friend sitting there so pale and frail as if life was sucked out of her by even mentioning that cursed planet and her husband.

The Admiral ignored Emma's distress and turning to the others, went on "You might know about the fact that the colony's society is a cult of the 21st century. The people of Epsilon lead lives according to the customs and the technology of that era. The ideological backbone of this cult is the belief that in that time, no alien influence interfered with the development of the human race. They believe human DNA is contaminated by contacting alien races, and they wish to go back to the time before that making progress on their own, without any alien influence." he let the others take their time to digest the information. They looked at each other uncomfortably.

"It must be a really friendly place." Riker remarked wincing.

"The most appalling of it all is that they refuse to use any technology beyond the 21st century. Including medical treatments and cures." Beverly added in a shaken voice.

Geordi looked at her frowning "You mean if there's a sickness that could be cured with medical help of our era, they would refuse to use it?"

"Yes, exactly."

"It goes beyond that." Emma added still in a very distant voice "If a citizen of the Epsilon Four colony saw you with your eye-implants, they would report you to the police - and you would be sentenced to imprisonment for making use of illegal technology. Some doctors ended up in jail for refusing to abide by these rules."

Riker grimaced "I still can't understand who would want to live that way. Who would risk falling victim to a sickness or other threat that's non-existent in our era. Or risk the lives of their loved ones." he asked confused.

"Some of the first colonists were fanatical xenophobes. Just like the Premier was." Emma explained almost as if she was only talking to herself "They took their children and family with them to live on Epsilon. As far from Earth as possible. They sincerely believed that they could live better lives without the alien influence the human race is under now. They believe that after the Third World War and the Eugenics War, humanity would have evolved in a very different way it actually did because of the first contact with the Vulcans. Huge billboards, adverts and other means of propaganda still spread the belief that their way of life is the true way the whole of humanity should have followed. And that even if the lives of individual people are difficult, it's still better than being the puppets of aliens. The majority of the population DOES believe that to this day. Some of them however for some reason sobered and were disappointed later on, seeing that whatever the propaganda said, it was far from reality. Others went to the colony to change the minds of their beguiled family members. Later on, these people formed the Resistance. But most of the citizens still believe that living the way they do is the perfect way of living for humans, and that the Resistance is not more than a terrorist organization sponsored by aliens. It's as if the more horrible things happened to them, the more strongly they believed that they were right." she never managed to fully grasp how it was possible that the regime could affect the way people were thinking that much.

Sensing her confusion, Deanna spoke up "The psychology of cults are based strongly on the basis that the more an individual gives from his or her life, the more he or she will bond with the cult. It is simply the affect of mental, physical and emotional investment. If you have given up everything for the sake of a so called 'greater good', it's very difficult to admit that you were wrong in doing that. Because it would mean that you lose even the hope of ever getting anything back in return for your efforts." she explained mostly to Emma.

The Admiral took over once again "Now things are changing as it seems. The old Premier was adamant about keeping to their rules of no alien contact. However, Premier Jones seems to be lenient in his ways. After seizing the power over his opposition, he contacted the Federation. It is yet unclear as to how deep this leniency goes, but it seems he would like to warm the relations between the colony and the Federation. And we are going there to seize that opportunity! He welcomes a small committee of peace to negotiate."

"Can we believe that the change in their political attitude is purely because of the change in power? Or is there another reason behind it? The dissatisfaction of the people perhaps that we are unaware of." the Captain asked.

"No." Emma and the Admiral answered simultaneously.

The Admiral let Emma speak "The people are not important for Edmond Jones. Even if there's any dissatisfaction. However, he never does anything without a good enough reason. He's been living on Epsilon for over ten years. If he didn't have some really urging reason to contact the Federation, he would never have done it." - Deanna squirmed in her chair nervously: it was very difficult to shut out the overwhelming hatred Emma felt while talking about her husband.

"We suspect that they are running out of resources." the Admiral went on "The colony lives mainly from mining the rare minerals found on the planet. They cover their expenses by selling these minerals to human Federation colonies. It is possible that they're running short of minerals that can be mined by using technology of the 21st century."

"What minerals do we know about?" Juliana asked curiously.

Data looked at her to explain, and couldn't help to feel glad about arriving at a topic he was knowledgeable about unlike human ways of deluding each other... "The planet seems to be rich in a variety of valuable minerals and ores. I've attempted to trace all of the colony's commercial businesses to date, and though it was not possible to recover all data, it seems they even had dilithium to sell."

Juliana leaned forward and clasped her hands now really intrigued "It must have made a lot of money for them! With the shortage of dilithium we are facing nowadays, and with it's enormous technical use of being the matter/antimatter regulator in warp engines, it became the most valuable ore currently in commerce for those who want to travel at warp speed." she looked around the table as she went on "However, mining it is a difficult task. With the means they had in the 21st century, I'm surprised they managed to bring any of it up!"

"Ms. Tainer, this will be your job." the Admiral looked into her eyes "We need to know what kind of minerals are on the planet so we can deduce the Premier's intentions."

"Have you tried to scan the planet with a class 1 probe for traker deposits? It's easier to trace than dilithium itself, and is almost always located along dilithium." she asked.

"Yes." Data answered "However, conflicting results came back. There seems to be a kelbonite surface covering over 89 percent of the planet which shields whatever there is underneath. It is impossible to determine what minerals are located under the crust of the planet from our scans. However, tectonic disturbances are fairly common on the planet which might also suggest the presence of dilithium. We have seen such a tectonic effect of dilithium in the Drema sector."

Juliana shook her head "Hmmm... tectonic disturbances might be the result of a thousand other things. We need to go and check around ourselves to make sure." she concluded.

"Exactly, Ms. Tainer. Therefore while I conduct negotiations with the Premier, an away team will examine the resources of the planet. The objective is to learn all that we can about Epsilon Four." the Admiral looked over to Emma "And this is exactly what we need your help with, Ms. Jones."

She raised her eyes and nodded slowly "I tell you all that I can." her voice was calmer now - even though she had to talk about her husband, it seemed she was only required to be an advisor, nothing more. And if there was a chance to change anything on Epsilon, she was willing to help in that!

"Admiral." Picard turned to McKinnley "What are the intentions of the Federation if your negotiations succeed?"

"It all depends on our mission now. If we manage to establish relations, the goal is to build connections as close as possible. We want the colony to be an ally or if it's possible even a part of the Federation."

"Why?" Emma asked frowning confused - this sudden interest somehow managed to wake her from her lethargy... it was all wrong!

"To help the people of the colony of course. Many Earth families are missing their relatives who moved to Epsilon. They want the Federation to take measures against letting the colony drift so apart from the home planet."

"That's bullshit!" Emma suddenly blurted eyes blazing. All eyes were again on her shocked at her tone of voice toward such a high ranking superior.

"Lieutenant!" Picard growled at her in a dangerously low voice.

But she just shook her head "No, Captain, believe me, that's not true! The Federation never gave a flying fart about the colony! When the lunacy with the cult took to a level, where people were imprisoned if they spoke up about an injustice, the colony was still part of the Federation! And nobody ever raised their voice against the outrageous things that were going on! Starfleet gave even less shit for the officers left there trapped, myself included. There's no way this attitude is changed all because some people are missing their loved ones!"

"Emma!" Beverly called to her in a very uncomfortable voice - she was talking to an Admiral for god's sake!

"It's alright, Doctor Crusher. I've known Ms. Jones for a long while - perhaps even a longer while any of you do. It seems she hasn't changed a bit." the Admiral remarked coldly as he leaned forward and stared right into Emma's eyes. "You keep forgetting Lieutenant that it's enough if your superiors know the reasons. You just need to follow the orders. In this case, my orders." The edge in his voice made everybody - except for Data - squirm in their seats uncomfortably.

"I've told you, I would help. You don't need to order me blindly around or to lie! I would want to help those people down there too!" she told him in a low voice "I tell you everything I know."

The Admiral leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers "Unfortunately, Lieutenant, simple talking won't suffice."

Emma's heart sank. No. No, you can't! "What do you mean?" she breathed.

His eyes pierced into her very soul as he replied "Your husband had one condition to starting the negotiations. And that is you visiting him in person. As you are the most knowledgeable about Epsilon Four, you are to accompany the away team and help them with all and every information they would need during the mission, and you would say hello to your long time no see husband as kindly as you possibly can."

"No..." Emma uttered without even thinking beforehand.

"Lieutenant." Picard started but the Admiral raised his hand to silence him - everybody was shocked at the patronizing gesture.

"If you don't do as I say, you'll be relieved of duty." he said in a foreboding voice.

Emma stared into his eyes then glanced at Data who sat there seemingly petrified by the turn of events, and then at Beverly, who looked at her with pleading eyes. She slowly stood. The others looked at her disbelievingly as she reached up for her combadge and took it off. Placing it on the table, she finally said in a silent voice "Then I'm relieved."

Nobody expected the Admiral's reaction, and even Picard shuddered scared when the elder man jumped up from his chair and burst out shouting "Don't you dare play games with me! If you leave this room now, I swear I'll arrange that you'll spend the rest of your life in a Federation prison cell on the charge of treason!"

"I'm not going back to Epsilon Four! Not even if I'll be damned in hell for it!" she retorted.

"Emma, please!" Beverly pleaded.

"You'll pay for this dearly!" the Admiral threatened her once again.

And Emma shook her head with her usual slight smirk "Then until you figure out how somebody who was deprived of everything she ever held precious can pay, she'll be in the brig." then with one last look at Data's disbelieving face, she turned and left. She let her tears fall only when she was in the brig and collapsed on the berth.

Data jumped up from his chair to go after her, but Picard stood too and stopped him.

"Let me, Mr. Data." he asked leaving everybody speechless.

When he was at the door, the Admiral called after him "Picard! You better bring her back, or this mission is over before it could start! And for that, heads will need to fall!"

"I will try to keep that in mind, Admiral McKinnley, thank you." Picard told him in a low voice with his usual carved in stone expression on his face and then left to go to the brig.


	9. Chapter 9

_"Emma Stern! I'm not telling you this any more times, young lady! You are beaming up to your ship RIGHT NOW!" the raspy voice of the old man on the screen came through the subspace channel mixed with some static. But Emma could very well see that her father was dead serious!_

_But she had to take a stand! This once, she had to! "No, father, I'm not going back!"_

_The features of the old man became hard and his cold blue eyes were blazing. Emma knew that face: it always predicted that he would go on in full Admiral mode, and she wasn't disappointed: "Lieutenant! As your commanding officer, I'm ordering you to report back to the Cairo!"_

_Emma rolled her eyes "Father, you're not my commanding officer! Stop acting as if you had power over me, cause once in my life, I got out from under your freaking command, and I'm making my own decisions! And I..."_

_"I'm not going to let my only daughter get married to a sleazy little colonist! A no-one! How dare you even think about deciding in such a matter without asking ME first?!" then a series of coughs rasped through the channel, and Emma could see that her father's face turned pale when his breathing finally evened. And her heart was gripped by fear - she wished she could understand why she was so scared of losing the one person that ruined her entire life..._

_"Father, just once... please, try to understand!" she pleaded in a low voice._

_The old man glared at her with a look that made her feel guilty "You see what your disobedience does to your old father? You'll put me in the coffin one day, just the way you did with your mother! But you'll regret it, believe me! You'll break all of the nails on your hands trying to dig me out of the grave!"_

_But suddenly, there was even more static in the sound and the visual: "Father, the channel is breaking up, I..." but she couldn't finish. The image of the old man disappeared as the screen went blank, and suddenly, Emma felt two hands over her eyes._

_"Guess who?" she heard a familiar French accent, and the hands let her go. She turned, and Edmond kissed her on the lips. When he let her go, she smiled at him ruefully and he put his fingers under her chin to make her look at him "No, ma chérie, a day before her wedding the beautiful bride must not look so sad!"_

_She smiled this time a more heart-felt smile: "You're right..." then her expression turned gloomy again "I tried to tell him but..."_

_"He was upset, of course! Saying that this marriage is outrageous, of course! Calling me a nobody, of course!" he finished her sentence AND her thoughts smiling challengingly._

_"You were eavesdropping?" she frowned but didn't really feel angry about it._

_He leaned closer and gave a light kiss on her lips then stared into her eyes with his intent black gaze "Who do you think has broken your channel up?" he asked mischievously._

_"Oh, you! You're naughty!" she shook her head stunned and was not sure if she should have been angry or amazed._

_Ed tightened his embrace around her almost too tight "You're mine now, chérie!" he whispered "We're getting married tomorrow, and I'm not gonna let anybody talk you out of it! Not even a grumpy old man, you no longer need!" he finished and kissed her on the lips until she had no more air left in her lungs._

* * *

Picard strode on the corridor of the detention cells, and his thoughts were somber. He was no fool. He could smell this whole mission was stinking from a hundred lightyears away. He wanted to know what really was going on behind the Federation's sudden interest in the colony, and on a more imminent accord, wanted to see what the Admiral's real intentions were. However, it was plain that they could not get anywhere with the mindless, blunt honesty that was such a trademark characteristic of Lieutenant Jones. He needed to convince her that running out on them the way she did was not the resolution and he needed to get her to think at least twice before opening her mouth - the latter seemed the hardest part of it all.

He walked into the brig, and the guard stepped up to him confused: "Sir, the Lieutenant came in here and sat in that cell ever since. I don't know..."

Picard raised a hand to soothe him "That's alright, Ensign! You're dismissed now."

"Yes, Sir." the young man nodded and left them alone.

Picard stepped to the entrance of the small cell - the forcefield was not up - and looked at Emma for a moment. She sat there slouching, her hands were trembling as they were dropped in her lap, her face was tear-streaked, but the most shocking of her sight was that her nails bled on some of her fingers. It was a blood-chilling reminiscence of somebody tearing her nails at trying to get out of an airtight cell or a coffin - though he was sure she had just bitten her nails too deep.

He stepped in and slowly sat next to her. She didn't move, and if he wanted to be honest, he wasn't even sure that she perceived his presence.

"That is a very bad habit, Lieutenant." he motioned to her nails bit almost to the flesh.

Emma took in a shaky breath and straightened her back a little as she wiped her tears from her face with the back of her hand "You came. Not Data. How come you didn't maximize the manipulation effect and sent HIM to talk me into making a suicidal leap?" He could tell she wanted to sound strong, but her voice was shaking and tear-filled. A sudden wave of pity washed over him: here was this woman who always tried to seem so fierce, so dominant and now... she was a mess crushed under her fears.

"I owe you an apology." Picard stated in a low voice.

To this Emma slowly looked at him. Her eyes were still hazy reflected shock, and she frowned really confused "For what?"

"You tried to tell me once what you left behind on Epsilon Four. I refused to listen because my pride was hurt. And I'm not talking only about my pride as a man. I'm talking about the pride of a Starfleet officer who is willing to give even his life for the fleet or the Federation. You made me face that even the Federation sometimes makes mistakes. And I have to admit, it hurt my pride as a Starfleet officer."

Emma tried to chuckle at this, but it became a snort. She stood up and started to pace slowly, aimlessly in the small cell. She stopped at the washbasin and stared at her reflection in the water: her face was pale and tear-streaked, and the look in her eyes distraught - she was scared of her own self for a moment! She reached into the water and washed her face quickly as if only to destroy that reflection - the ghost of her real self. Her bitten nails left the water pink from her blood, and the wounds started to sting.

She wiped her face and hands with a towel and muttered "Mistakes. I would rather call them a crimes..." He didn't reply, and she turned to him from the washbasin and looked into his eyes "The Federation let us down. Let the people on that planet down, let the Starfleet officers who remained behind down, everybody..." she shook her head looking for words, but she felt her mind was scattered into tiny pieces all over this cell - she tried again "People died there. Died of sicknesses, died of police brutality, died in prison, some were executed... you name it! And Uncle Seth, the biggest friend of my goddamn father walks in here and tells me that now, all of a sudden, the Federation wants to kiss and make up." she threw her hands up and laughed a forced laugh "Only because they're concerned about the people and their families! Oh, god, how the ceiling never fell on his head, I don't even..."

He stood up and stepped opposite her to look into her eyes "It's plain that this whole is a façade. Don't think that the people in the observation lounge weren't aware of that. But to walk out the way you just did is cowardly and by no means the way a Starfleet officer acts."

Emma suddenly laughed, and it was so sharp and forced that Picard felt the sound almost hurt his ears "Haven't you noticed, Captain Picard that I'm anything but a Starfleet officer?" she stepped around him and took a few paces to distance herself from him then turned to him again and looked into his eyes "You know how I got into Starfleet? My father intended the Academy for me as a punishment." she took a step closer "Do you know how the remarkable Admiral Stern, whose death is the loss of the whole of Starfleet, treated his family? My brothers and I were scared shitless whenever he was home. You know fathers normally kiss their kids before bed. Mine beat us up saying 'You haven't done anything today, but surely you will tomorrow to deserve it.' I was the only one who never broke!" she stepped now close to him again, and Picard knew he had to let her talk. She went on in a firm voice "I was lucky. I had wits. By the age of sixteen, I finished high school, in time I might add, just before I would have dropped out for truancy. He thought, in the Academy, I would finally learn some discipline. That's how I got into your precious Starfleet, Captain Picard. That's how much this whole means to me. So just tell Uncle Seth that he has done me a friendly favour. And have a very good day, Sir." she finished and walking back to the berth, she collapsed on it into the same slouching position he had found her.

Picard watched her for a moment longer then stepped in front of her, but he couldn't make her look up at him, so he just started to talk "When we had that little tiff about a month ago, just before your premiere of Dreamland, I looked up your record. I was stunned to find that some of it was classified by no other but Admiral Stern." At this, Emma finally looked up into his eyes, but her expression was unreadable. He went on "It made me curious, so I pulled some strings and checked around with some old Academy friends. It turns out that in your first semester, on multiple occasions, your father helped in covering the trouble you got yourself into and made you stay in the Academy." Emma bowed her head ashamed and he went on "The troubles seemed to lessen and then went away completely in your second semester. I tried to look for a reason for such a radical change and found that that was the time you were assigned to the same room with..."

"Beverly." she finished nodding, and he waited for her to go on "She was six years older than me. I was sixteen, she was twenty-two. She saw how ...lost I was there... And oh, she was so full of good intentions! Just like now... She helped me understand that even if I was studying to do the job my father wanted me to do, I got a chance to live my own life. Without his influence." she said in a soft voice.

"And you finished with flying colors I might say. With honors in exo-biology."

"I was just lucky. My brain picks up everything, even the things I don't want to remember... The very fact that I finished Starfleet Medical was only her merit. Nobody else's."

He slowly sat down next to her and went on in a seemingly neutral voice "And now you're finally together again. You're doing a fine job as I hear. You have a home. You have people around you, whom you can call friends. Maybe even family. And you want me to believe you, when you say, you'd gladly give it all up just to defy Admiral McKinnley."

She turned her head sharply to him "Don't you understand?!" she asked in complete desperation "If I go back to that planet, to the planet where my husband is the lord of life and death, he'll NEVER let me leave! Ever! Don't you understand that this whole is his game?! He moves the pieces around on the board for both colors, we just make the moves he wants us to! And if he gets a chance to make me go there, he'll play his game until I'll have no choice left but to stay! And I'm not gonna play his game ever again. No matter how cowardly you may regard me, Captain Picard."

Despite Emma's outburst, Picard looked at her smiling a small, tight smile "You are forgetting, Lieutenant, that your husband is not the only one good at playing games."

Emma shook her head stubbornly "You don't know him Captain Picard. It's like playing a blind game of chess, without knowing his steps or even what your own steps would bring on your head. You don't know what he's capable of."

He refused to let her lose herself in this agony of desperation "But that is exactly what you can help me with! You know him, you know that planet. It gives us an immense advantage." Emma looked at him pleading now - she really didn't want to let herself being convinced as he went on "Don't you want to get to the bottom of this? Don't you want to see what's behind all of this? Why the Federation became so interested so suddenly? What your husband wants with bringing Starfleet there? Don't you want to finally close the wounds of the past and look into the future? Don't tell me, you enjoy wearing somebody's name that you want to forget. Don't tell me you want to run away with your tail wagged between your legs! The woman, who had the courage to tell her Captain that he's a hard-ass has more courage than to just give up on her life like that! Now, if you gave this crew and myself and even Mr. Data just a tiny fragment of trust, you would let us help you, and you would help us in return."

Emma bowed and shook her head defeated - oh, yes, she wanted to close the door on the past! Of course she did! She wanted nothing but that for years! But still... "I trust you. Believe me, I do, it's just that I'm... I'm so..." she shook her head again and looked up into his eyes hoping that he would understand without her saying the words.

And the Captain did understand: "Then we will need to make you feel as safe and secure as possible."


	10. Chapter 10

"When we first arrived on Epsilon, the buildings of the two largest cities were already there." Emma started recalling the story of the colony, seated once again at the table of the observation lounge. The others listened to her intently. "The people were not told how these premises could be there on a previously unoccupied planet, but it was quite plain that some 24th century technology must have been used. But the colonists were too busy with settling in, nobody asked anything. Later on, Ed told me that the planet was the inheritance of Premier Hague who had an almost pervert fascination for the 21st century. His family was very rich, they were trading with a lot of different races, and somehow they got this planet, maybe as a payment for something. Maybe the buildings were there because of the same reason, I don't know. The biggest city is Ethel, it was named after Premier Hague's late wife. The residence of the Premier is in the western part of it. All the high ranking officials live in the same premise, so we practically lived together with the family of the Premier."

"That means you lived in fairly wealthy surroundings. Why did you decide to give that up?" the Admiral asked suspiciously.

Emma looked daggers at him "My good conscience took the better of me." she growled sarcastically.

The Admiral snorted "Don't be ridiculous. For years, your conscience never said anything, and then all of a sudden...?"

Emma shrugged "You want the truth? Fine. We were rich, we did live in luxury. Well, of course, by 21st century standard that is. I was a celebrated star for years. I was one of the most popular actresses on the colony. The Premier loved 21st century movies and made a huge investment in the film and theatre industry. Of course, it all had a secondary use of creating the propaganda that kept the people thinking in the specific way he wanted them to think. I left because my marriage deteriorated to a level that it was impossible to be around each other. We fought all the time. About everything. I couldn't put up with it any longer."

"You joined the Resistance, if I understand correctly." the Admiral questioned her on.

"Yes, I did."

"Who is the leader of the Resistance? Where are they located?"

Emma turned her head to him sharply at this "I don't know! What do you need this information for?" she asked with a suspicious frown.

"I'm the one who is asking the questions, Lieutenant. I have told you, we need all information that could pose as tactical value."

Emma looked at Picard who sat next to the Admiral stone-faced. His expression remained unreadable, and Emma felt, she again remained alone. She took a deep breath and shook her head "I have no idea of any of these things." Deanna turned her head sharply to her at this which Emma didn't notice, but the Captain did. However, they let Emma go on "I worked at a hospital, which made use of illegal medicine and treatments. It was raided not long before I left the colony. All the people I knew from the Resistance were captured. That's all I can say."

Riker spoke up "You mentioned that the Resistance is treated as a terrorist organization. What does that mean? Do they commit acts of violence?"

Emma turned her head away disgusted even by remembering it "Sometimes. There are radicals amongst them too, but most of them just want to live a normal life or simply want to save their families."

The Admiral snorted again "But they're not averse from killing people to reach that goal."

Emma took a breath before answering "I've told you. Not all of them are like that. Sometimes the government itself has bombs planted, so they can keep up the fear and blame the Resistance for the violence."

"But you were not part of this radical faction, were you? Because being radical is just so far away from your very nature." the Admiral seemed to taunt her.

She took a long breath again to calm herself - and failed. "Have I planted bombs, Uncle Seth? Is that what you're asking me?" she replied in a shaky voice.

He held her gaze with his cold one "You're saying you became a small screw in the structure of the Resistance, and that the Resistance never made use of the wife of a high ranking official? That's fairly unbelievable, Ms. Jones." the Admiral grimaced staring right into Emma's eyes.

"You may believe whatever you wish." Emma hissed - it was plain that her temper hang on a thin thread, and Picard didn't want it to snap.

He leaned forward and caught her gaze with his "Ms. Jones, let me ask you this. When we beam down there, what can we expect? What is the general morale like on the planet? If these people shun modern technology and alien cultures, how are they going to react to the presence of Starfleet officers?"

Emma shook her head "Forget about going there as Starfleet officers. Forget about your uniforms. Within the residence of the Premier, you may wear it, but if you want to go outside, you'll just have to wear casual clothes."

Deanna spoke up in her soft voice "What about non-human officers like me or Commander Data? Are they so hostile against aliens that they would threaten us only because we are not humans?"

Emma thought for a moment before answering "Well... you would pass as a human, Deanna. I don't think anybody would suspect that you're not fully human. However, I still advice against your going down." she finished in a low voice.

"Why?" Deanna asked sensing that here was again a memory Emma was reluctant to recall.

Emma took a long breath again and spoke in a very low voice: "Three or four years ago, there was a new wave of propaganda. It stated that there are shape-shifter aliens who might pose as humans. And that these aliens already lived on the colony among the people. It had a hysterical effect on the population. Neighbours, even family members started to report each other to the police. The paranoia reached a height when even lynchings took place. I have seen some of the victims, some of them died in my hospital... If by any chance, it would somehow turn out that you're not a human..." she shook her head "Let's not risk that, Deanna." Emma told her in a silent voice, and Deanna could feel the distress and the concern that Emma felt for her. It made her heart lurch.

Emma turned to Data and looked at him for the first time they had come back to the observation lounge with Picard "You on the other hand... I don't think anybody would possess the means to hurt you in any way down there. But you will not be able to blend in. The color of your skin and eyes would sell that you're not a human right away." she told him softly.

"It's possible to alter that." Beverly replied "On a mission to Romulus a few years ago, the Captain and Data posed as Romulans, and it worked pretty well! Nobody suspected anything." she turned to Data with a small smile "It won't be a problem to turn you into a human this time."

"Thank you, Doctor." he said on his usual silent tone though felt a little uneasy about the idea.

The conversation turning strangely silent was suddenly broken by the raspy voice of the Admiral "It is irrelevant to talk about Mr. Data joining the away team before the necessary modifications prescribed by Starfleet are done on his system. So it is a moot point to discuss this matter."

A confused silence descended on the room broken only by Data's obedient "Yes, Sir."

Finally, Geordi was the one who broke the stunned silence "What modifications are you referring to, if I may ask, Sir?" he asked puzzled.

"The ones that were ruled necessary by the court martial of course, Mr. La Forge." the Admiral shrugged nonchalantly as if this was the most well-known piece of information on the ship - while the others were looking at each other and Data completely bewildered. He went on "It is to improve Mr. Data's abilities during duty hours, which gradually degraded in the last two years with the implementation of his so called emotion-chip. Which you all might have noticed. After the last occasion, when these effects could have had grave consequences, it was decided that he may not use the chip on duty, especially not on away missions. As long as the modifications are not done, he may not go to away missions."

Geordi looked at his friend wide-eyed - Data just sat there with his deadpan expression - and tried to think of something to say, but Emma was quicker and spoke up in a hard voice "Then I'm not going either!"

"What?!" the Admiral retorted.

"This was our agreement with the Captain." she explained "I assist you in everything you wish me to, but Data will be assigned next to me. He's the only person that I feel safe with. I trust no one else!"

Geordi tried to offer some help, though he felt as if he was to assist in dissecting his own friend: "If it's necessary... I can fix the chip's turn off switch, which is still fused. I suppose I can do it in a few hours if..."

"I'm afraid it will not suffice, Mr. La Forge." the Admiral cut in "It was decided that the chip has to be altered in a way that it is possible to remove it. So on duty he would not be able to utilize it."

Emma felt a catch in her throat as she stared at his boyfriend shocked - could this day get any worse than this?! She tried to catch Data's gaze, but he just stared ahead with as a neutral expression as ever. She looked to her side at Juliana. The elder woman sat there seemingly shaken to her core. Emma suddenly wished she could just take her hand and tell her that she was not alone in how she felt...

Geordi went on sticking to the technological aspect of the question - because any other aspects were just too hard to face "But it's impossible! The chip is infused irreversibly to Data's positronic neural net! It's not possible to remove it!"

"It is possible, Geordi." Data told him silently "Based on the schematics, though it's a very difficult task, it is possible to be carried out."

"It would require like a million of bypassing circuits!" Geordi told them now in a really agitated voice as he wasn't able to conceal his complete shock anymore.

The Admiral cut in impatiently "Let's put this very interesting discussion off to another time. Right now our priority is the mission to Epsilon Four."

Data just glanced at Geordi but then kept his gaze lowered "I will tell you everything later on." he whispered. Geordi looked around and judging by the expressions of the others, it seemed except for Riker and the Captain, nobody, not even Emma knew about this! Data! What the hell was going on here?!

The Admiral went on "We have plenty of qualified officers to choose from on the Enterprise to put together an away team. I suppose there won't be any problems in putting together the team without Commander Data."

"Except that I'm not going without Commander Data." they suddenly heard Emma's voice again, repeating her previous statement. All eyes were on her again, and she looked around now with a frighteningly calm, determined gaze. She eventually rested her gaze on Data "If you want me to go down to Epsilon, you'll let Data go with me."

The Admiral's temper snapped just the way when Emma walked out on them an hour ago "What difference does it make who goes with you?! Who do you think you are to dictate here, Lieutenant?!" his voice thundered through the room.

"That is my condition!"

"Outrageous! You're not in the position to..."

"I'm EXACTLY in the position. Sir. You want me down on that planet? Fine! But Data will be there with me every moment of every minute I spend down there! As Captain Picard promised."

The Admiral glared at the Captain, and it was quite plain that he would have a few words with him for making this promise to Emma.

"Admiral McKinnley." the Captain looked at the elder man with calm eyes "I take personal responsibility for Mr. Data, I would trust him with my life, and I sincerely believe that Ms. Jones does also. You have the authority to suspend the ruling of the court martial. I'd suppose it would make our situation a lot easier, if you used that authority."

The Admiral snorted and looked at Emma "You do think that you're still the little girl of an Admiral who can get whatever she wishes, don't you? Well, if you're so adamant about it Ms. Jones, let it be. But he cannot officially accompany the away team, only as your personal bodyguard. I hope this does not put you off Mr. Data." he looked into the android's golden eyes with a challenging smirk.

Data held his gaze, his expression remained neutral as he nodded "Not at all, Sir."

"Of course as soon as Doctor Maddox arrives, you will be required to undergo the procedure."

"Understood, Sir."

Emma looked around the table - everybody was looking at each other wide-eyed and with a shocked expression.

"Maddox. If I never heard that name again in my life, that would have been too soon." Riker remarked in a bitter voice - alien to Emma's ears.

Data answered to him "I understand your aversion, Commander, however, Doctor Maddox is the most knowledgeable cyberneticist with regards to the Soong-type design. As this would be a more complex procedure, I felt it necessary to involve him."

Juliana and Emma exchanged confused glances, and both of them realized that neither of them had any idea of who this Maddox could be, but it was plain that the others became really worried by even the mention of the name.

The Admiral broke her trail of thought "This is all very interesting, Mr. Data, but lets continue at another time. Ms. Jones." he turned back to Emma "Is there anything else that we need to know about before beaming down there?"

Emma stared into his eyes contemplating whether she should send him to hell for treating Data the way he did, but she thought better of it and then just looked at them thoughtfully "Well... it's worth mentioning that there is a surveillance system in operation all over the colony. That is apart from the fact that the people are very suspicious by nature and are encouraged to report everything out of the ordinary to the police. The apartments are bugged, most probably the rooms in the residence that we will be assigned to will be bugged too. If you go out, you'll certainly be followed. You may not notice it, but it will happen. If you want to visit any place that you don't want others to know about, you'll need to beam to the exact coordinates. As far as I know, they don't have the technology to track that."

"When do we arrive at Epsilon Four?" Picard asked Data.

"22 hours 16 minutes, Sir."

"Data, I'd like you to show the findings of the probe to Ms. Tainer in the remaining time. Perhaps she might notice something in the data that would prove useful to us."

"Yes, Sir."

"Captain," Beverly spoke up in a soft voice "I'd like to volunteer to be part of the away team. I'd like to see the level of medical technology the colony is at. Perhaps I could advice them within the given circumstances on more effective methodology."

"Very well." the Captain nodded his assent "If the Admiral has no objections of course."

"None at all. Medical improvement might be a negotiation point as well."

Emma turned her head away so as they would not see her scepticism. She spent years with trying to convince the people about the need to loosen the rules at least in medical technology. And failed. But it would be comforting to know that Bev was with her down there, so she decided to be selfish enough not to say a word of objection.

Riker spoke up counting down the people in the away team so far "So that means Ms. Jones, Data, Ms. Tainer and Doctor Crusher will comprise the team including Admiral McKinnley and myself."

"No, Number One." the Captain spoke up.

"But Captain..." Riker started to object - why did they have to do this EVERY singular time?

The Captain cut in "This time, I'll need to go. Your responsibility is the Enterprise. Make sure to keep a lock on us at all times. I don't want any surprises on a planet with a population as hostile as Ms. Jones described it."

Riker let out a long breath and nodded "Understood, Sir."


	11. Chapter 11

When the briefing was finally over, Data felt he was almost literally pulled in three directions. He was ordered to show his mother the probe's findings, Geordi jumped at him saying that they needed to talk, and above all else, he wanted to go to Emma to check if she was okay. But it seemed that she didn't even want to look at him: she just walked out of the observation lounge with Doctor Crusher. Maybe she again had a period of needing solitude, but he always managed to cheer her up at times like this.

"Data!" Geordi called for the third time seemingly getting irritated - or he already was, Data couldn't tell.

He turned to him frowning but heard her mother say "I'll wait for you on the Bridge."

He looked at her and nodded "Yes, Mother!" and she walked out after the others. He and Geordi remained alone.

Geordi looked at him expectantly, and he cocked his head trying to determine what his friend might be thinking.

"You're angry with me." he stated his observation after a moment.

And Geordi's temper snapped "You bet I'm angry with you! A court martial?! And you don't say a word?! I thought we were best friends! What the hell's wrong with you?!"

Of course, Data answered in the absolute literal sense: "Apparently, Starfleet thinks that based on the reports of Counsellor Troi during the time I was suffering from the after-effects of my abduction by the Borg, that the emotion-chip clouds my judgement and hinders my performance as a Starfleet officer. To a certain extent, I loath to say it, but I do agree."

"That's just crazy! You're a sentient being just as all of us. How can they expect you to just discard your emotions? I mean nobody can do that!"

Data shook his head a little puzzled at what Geordi said "My sentience was never in question during the hearings. It seemed that the problem was more of the fact that I never consulted anyone about making use of the chip. The court martial drew the analogy of an organic entity put on a serious psychotic drug. Their performance then need to be reassessed, if they want to keep on serving in Starfleet and prior consultancy with the relevant departments is necessary as well. In my case, this would be the Cybernetics Division of the Daystrom Institute. I failed to meet both requirements. They judged this as a severe misconduct and breach of Starfleet rules and regulations."

"So what the hell? Just let them examine you and be done with it! That can't be a good enough reason for them to make you discard your chip just as if it was a piece of malfunctioning circuitry!" Geordi went on berserking.

"I did have examinations, Geordi. Mostly from a psychological point of view. My results are very different compared to the ones produced by the last examination I took before the emotion-chip."

Geordi cut in "Of course they're different! You have emotions now for god's sake, of course your psyche doesn't work the same way as before! But don't tell me that the results were worse, because I refuse to believe that!"

Data went on in his calm voice "They were not necessarily worse. However, the differences between the two sets of results were significant enough to make the court martial doubt that I am worthy of the Lieutenant Commander rank or to serve as the Operations officer on the flag ship."

A shocked silence descended as Geordi couldn't do more than just gap at his friend. After a long moment, he shook his head disbelievingly and took a few steps away from him as if to distance himself from what he had just heard. He let out a long breath to calm himself - no use. He turned back to Data still agitated "So they just decided that you simply have to get rid of the one thing that causes the trouble, and all would be sunshine and happiness after that?!"

When Data answered, his voice was silent and very sad "No. The court martial ruled that I have to leave the Enterprise, and that I would be placed in a position with a lot less responsibility."

"What?!" Geordi breathed.

Data went on in the same wistful voice gazing only ahead "I didn't want to leave the Enterprise. I didn't want to give my whole life up. I offered that I could use the turn-off switch on duty. The court martial reluctantly conceded to the notion of applying a work-around. However, they argued that with the turn-off switch, there could be no guarantee that I wouldn't use the chip without the knowledge of my fellow officers. Captain Picard and Commander Riker were kind enough to bear testimonies in my favour stating that they would carry the responsibility of such an option. However, the court martial was not convinced. They wanted physical evidence that such a thing could never happen."

"So you proposed to make the chip removable?" Geordi asked in a shaken voice.

"I saw no other options." he looked at his friend and tried to smile "It'll be fine, Geordi. At least, better than leaving everything and everybody."

Geordi spread his arms frustrated and tried to find arguments against this whole, though he knew that it was utterly pointless: "What about the buffering effect of the chip? You always say that if you turn it off and then on again, you have a jumble of emotions to deal with suddenly as the chip processes all that's happened since it was turned off. What will you do when there's a mission that's days long - like the one you're going to now? You take it out, and when the mission's over, and you put it back, you get a nervous breakdown or what?!"

"I talked to Doctor Maddox about the effect and based on the schematics, he is convinced that the buffer of the chip can be reduced or even turned completely off. He will need to examine this problem, when he arrives here and prepares for the procedure."

Geordi paced slowly around the table shaking his head "Maddox. Was he in the court martial too? Was he the one who..."

"No." Data cut in, then turned up his palms, when Geordi finally looked at him from the window he was standing next to "Officially that is, I'm unaware of any influence he or the Daystrom Institute might have had on the course of decisions made by the court martial." he looked at his friend genuinely confused "What purpose would that have served him, Geordi?"

Geordi threw his hands up "I don't know! Like dissecting you to his liking the way he wanted to eight years ago?"

Data shook his head "No, Geordi. He wasn't even aware of the fact that I was court martialed until I notified him about needing some assistance with the procedure."

Geordi looked daggers at him which now really confused Data. The Chief Engineer stepped to him and looked into his eyes plainly hurt "Why do you need Maddox with this? I've been your physician almost from day one here on the Enterprise. I'm perfectly capable of doing what needs to be done, don't you trust me anymore?" he snorted "Stupid question. You didn't even trust me with telling me about the court martial." he shook his head seemingly very disappointed.

Data was really taken aback by this "Geordi." he called in a silent stunned voice "Of course I trust you. However, I was also aware of the fact that there was nothing you could have done for me during this court martial. There was no point in me burdening you with it. And as for the technological aspect of the issue. I do trust you in that too. You know I do. However the last time we talked about the removal of the chip, you seemed genuinely shocked about the idea. I didn't want you to find yourself in a situation, where our friendship would have to be in conflict with your values. I felt I would abuse your friendship, if I asked you to do something that I knew you would feel really bad about."

With this, all the irritation and hurt and anger that Geordi felt ever since the topic came up during the briefing dissipated into thin air. He bowed his head shutting his eyes then gazed up at his best friend once again "You wanted to protect me."

Data thought about it for a moment then nodded "In a manner of speaking, yes."

Geordi slouched and let out a long breath "Data... Friendship shouldn't be about that. We've been fairly open about everything with each other so far. If I had had a problem with doing as you asked, I'd have told you. You don't have to go to someone else just to avoid making me feel uncomfortable. You never had to tiptoe around me ever, you know that. Next time, please just ask." he winced "Well, I hope there would be no next time for such a request..."

"Me too." Data nodded and gave him a tiny smile. And after a moment, Geordi returned it.

The door opened, and Riker stepped in with a serious expression "If you can spare a moment, join the Captain in his ready-room. For a private tea-party." he added with a meaningful glance.

"Private tea-party? I do not believe..." Data asked with a confused frown cocking his head, but Geordi put a hand on his arm to stop his questions. It was plain that whatever the Captain wanted, it was for the ears of certain chosen people only.

Riker turned and left, and they followed him on his heals.

* * *

"I'm not satisfied with your performance so far on this mission, Picard." the Admiral told the Captain off-handedly and then sipped his tea sitting opposite the Captain in his ready-room. "Your personnel is disobedient and reckless. I do know Emma Stern - well, Jones now - from before, but it's your job to break her, now that she's under your command! And what do you do? Instead of putting her in her place, you give a gun in her hand by making empty promises."

The Captain crossed his legs sitting in his chair behind his desk, and steepled his fingers "I prefer getting my staff to do as I need them to do instead of using discipline. It might be not to your liking, Sir, but it has certainly worked well so far."

The Admiral snorted "It's not a matter of my taste, Picard. It's the way command dictates. They are here to follow orders not to question them or to ask any pesky questions about classified information." he mused sipping his tea.

The Captain leaned forward and clasped his fingers. He waited until the Admiral fixed his gaze on him and then looked straight into his eyes "Nevertheless, Admiral, the questions were valid. What is the real reason behind this sudden interest in the Epsilon Four colony? It's quite obvious that it cannot be purely based on the humanitarian interest of the Federation. If it was so, there are colonies a lot more in need for some intervention. Turkana Four, for instance."

"It's classified, Picard. But if you look close on the starmaps, you might make an intelligent guess."

"I have, Sir." the Captain stood his gaze "The planet is located very close to the Neutral Zone. In fact, the senior staff is well aware of that. Has been since we have got our destination coordinates yesterday."

The Admiral leaned back in his chair "Well, Picard. Now, what do you need me for in telling you, why luring Epsilon Four to our side is so immensely important?"

The Captain frowned thoughtfully "The dilithium. Would the colony try to sell dilithium to Romulans? Even with their xenophobic ideology?" he asked incredulously.

The Admiral snorted, and his lips curved up in a creepy smile "In my view, these people are just crazy fanatics. I think they want to make contact with the Federation to sell the dilithium to US, humans! But if the negotiations fail on such hot-headed good-for-nothings as Lieutenant Jones, for instance, I'm sure, sooner or later the Epsilonians will figure out that they could sell the dilithium to others. The Orion Syndicate, and in the worst case scenario, to the Romulan Star Empire as well! And I don't want to wait for that, Picard. With the shortage of dilithium we are facing, it would give the Romulans a tremendous tactical advantage!"

"But the colony is in Federation space! Even if the government of the colony sold the dilithium to them, given the fact that the colony does not possess warp-capable ships, collecting it by Romulan starships would be a severe breach of the Treaty of Algeron!"

"Don't be so naive, Picard!" the Admiral barked "If they sensed that they have a chance at laying their hands on a rich dilithium deposit, the Romulan Empire will treat the Treaty as nothing more than ink on a page! Besides, we wouldn't even know about it! We still can't detect their cloaked ships! Or have you missed this tiny piece of information on reading the last Federation communiqué about Romulan technology? We need to be a step ahead of them. At all times, Picard!"

The Captain glanced away trying to wrap his mind around the possibility of such a misconduct on the part of Romulans. They WERE power-thirsty, and their thirst of territory knew barely any boundaries. But to enter into Federation space on a regular basis... it was beyond belief even by Romulan standards.

"Well, Picard. Thanks for the tea." the Admiral put his cup on the Captain's desk and stood. The Captain stood too respectfully as the elder man added "I retire to my quarters now." then turning, he glanced back at the Captain from the door patronizingly "I hope by the time, we are to beam to the planet, I'll see a measure of obedience in your crew."

Picard's features remained as carved in stone as ever "Certainly, Sir." he told his superior dryly, and the older man left him alone. He didn't even have time to sit back in his chair when the door chime sounded.

"Come." he called, and Counsellor Troi stepped in "Deanna."

"May I have a word with you, Sir?"

* * *

The private tea-party commenced, when Riker got back with the last of the senior staff. They formed a circle: Deanna and Beverly sat on the couch, Riker and Geordi sat in the two chairs opposite the Captain's desk, and the Captain took his own seat at the desk, while Data remained standing in the corner.

"I hope you all sense that whatever we are to discuss here cannot leave this room." the Captain told them in a low voice. The others nodded their assent, and the Captain looked at Deanna "Counsellor, please." he motioned.

All eyes fixed on Deanna as she started to speak: "There are two very important things that I brought to the attention of the Captain a few minutes ago. The first one concerns the Admiral. Throughout the briefing, I felt that he was hiding something. Something vitally important."

The Captain took over "After the briefing, he told me that the Federation was concerned that the colony might sell dilithium to Romulans. This is why the mission is so important to succeed."

Deanna went on "However, this is not the thing that I felt he was keeping as a secret. Even through the jumble of emotions oozing from Lieutenant Jones, I could clearly feel the Admiral being scared. It was as if he would lose something very valuable, if we don't succeed. I think there is something more behind his emotions than the fact that Romulans might appear during this mission. His interest was more personal."

"What kind of personal interest could he possibly have in this mission?" Riker asked theoretically.

"I don't know." Deanna replied "But I wanted you to be aware of this fact... The other matter is of more personal nature to most of us... Lieutenant Jones was not completely sincere with us either during the briefing. She's hiding something too and is ready to lie about it even to us." she gazed up at Data "I'm sorry, Data." she told him in a soft voice.

"It's alright, Counsellor." he replied, and the last word died on his lips. He barely could conceal his distress in learning this as Deanna went on.

"She was scared throughout the briefing. At the mention of meeting her husband, her fear was palpable to all of you. However, there was something else too. When the Admiral asked her about the Resistance, she was lying when she said she'd known nothing about it or no one involved in it. I suspect she knows a lot more than she lets on, and her loyalties are divided if she were to choose between Starfleet or the Resistance."

"Well, Deanna. No wonder!" Beverly told them taken aback by what she was implying at "Think about it, for god's sake! She lived with the Resistance for years, they saved her, she is used to protecting them."

"I hate to say it, Beverly." Deanna looked at her apologetically "But it goes beyond that level." she looked around "She doesn't feel the same strong bond that we do towards Starfleet."

"She willingly admitted that fact to me in the brig today." the Captain added in a low voice.

"She feels a lot firmer connection to the Resistance... I don't think we can safely rely on her. I don't think the away team should rely on her down on the planet, because if you were to cross with the Resistance for any reason, she would choose them over Starfleet."

A moment of shocked silence descended on them, then Riker spoke up "Well, it turns out I was right, and the shrew WAS dangerous after all." Beverly looked daggers at him but then saw the crestfallen expression he had on. He massaged his neck growling "Ah, I never ever wished to be wrong more than now."

"No." Data's voice came hollow from where he was standing in the corner. They turned to him, and he straightened his back "You might have perceived emotions, Counsellor, that might have been true for the moment, when she was so distressed and agitated during the briefing. But I refuse to believe that she would do anything against us out of malice. She is a loyal Starfleet officer and a loyal friend." he looked at Beverly who locked gazes with him for a moment - her eyes reflected gratitude as he finished "I'd place my life in her hands without thinking twice."

"I suppose, Mr. Data," the Captain spoke up in a soft voice "there's no one in this room who doesn't understand your feelings." he sighed and leaning forward, steepled his fingers "A blind game of chess. That's how Ms. Jones described dealings with her husband and Epsilon Four. Well, it seems there are now at least four colors on the board. We will need to make sure that at least one of them remain our ally throughout this mission."


	12. Chapter 12

Data watched Emma sitting exhausted in her dressing room. She was still wearing the make-up and dress for Dreamland, which ended only a few minutes prior. He promised his mother, that they would go over to her quarters afterwards, but he suspected that the promise was too hasty. Emma had made it clear, that they needed to talk. And it seemed that what she intended to say required a longer time than the few minutes they had just before the performance. Data realized that Emma seemed to have taken offence for something: the way she walked out of the observation lounge without a backward glance at him, and during the play, she barely wanted to keep eye contact with him and the length of their kiss on the stage - it was the shortest ever since they had been performing Dreamland. The audience he was sure, could perceive nothing of this, but he knew. He could feel that she was upset with him. However, he couldn't figure out the exact reason she could feel resentment toward him. So finally, he decided that he would just try to cheer her up the way he would usually do if she was upset with someone else, and was hoping that maybe, it would alleviate her anger as well.

He walked to her and crouched in front of her taking her hand gently in his. When she raised her head to look into his eyes, however, her gaze remained hostile, even accusing. It made his heart sink, but he still had to try: "Are you not feeling better? At least a little?"

She kept on looking daggers at him then just pulled her hands away and pushing him out of her way, stood up. He stood too and looked at her puzzled.

She walked up to the wall - as if to be as far from him as she could - and turned to him with a hard expression "Did you know?"

He frowned puzzled "Did I know what?" he asked cocking his head. Emma snorted and threw her hands up taking a few paces aimlessly. He made an attempt at guessing what she might have been referring to "Did I know the destination of the mission?"

She turned back to him sharply at this "Did you?! Did you know, Deadpan, that we are going back to that hellhole?" she demanded, voice shaking.

"Of course I did." he told her taken aback by her accusing gaze "I'm the Operations officer of the ship, I'm required to be aware of our destination." he explained but remained just as confused as a moment ago about the reason for Emma's anger.

"So why didn't you say a word? Just one lousy word!" she asked desperately and clearly very disappointed in him.

He was beginning to feel just as desperate as she seemed "It was classified information, Emma! It still is. I couldn't say anything to you or any officer not included in the senior staff."

She shrugged and snorted "You know what? Fine. But at least you could have given me a heads up! Like: come on babe! Now would be as good a time to go on shore leave as any. Or something like that."

"Why would I have done that?" he asked puzzled.

"Because, Deadpan, then I wouldn't have been blackmailed into this mission!" she told him exasperated "For god's sake! What were you thinking my reaction would be when you learned about where we were going? Something like: oh, I don't need to say a word to Emma, let her be surprised?! Or what?!"

He could feel her frustration with him radiating from her in waves, but he tried to keep his voice as calm as he could - he couldn't get upset too, one of them needed to think clearly! "There was a fairly high chance that you would be upset learning our destination. However, I never suspected that you would be required to beam down with us to the planet! I thought you would be asked to advise us. And I thought that you would gladly do that to assist the mission. I never imagined you would react the way you did! You have to believe me that I haven't acted out of malice in not telling you this." he told her in a pleading voice.

Emma snorted "Yeah, well, I do believe that you are naive enough not to do this out of malice. And I believe you that you didn't know that Uncle Seth would want me down with the team." she shook her head "The problem is that I think you would have remained just as silent if you did know!"

They stared into each other's eyes for a long moment, and Data felt now really exasperated by what she was saying. He spread his arms helplessly "What would you have wished me to do, Emma? It was my duty to stay silent! We are Starfleet officers on a starship!"

"Well, to the hell with that!" she retorted "If I had to break some rules for you, I'd have done it. Moreover, I DID do it not so long ago. It seems your memory is not as good as one would expect!" she taunted.

He frowned now angrily "I don't believe that it involved even the slightest of dilemma for you to do that."

"Of course not! I cared about you, it was not a question that I would protect you! My priorities, Deadpan, are just fine! How about yours?!" she asked almost shouting.

"Your priorities have nothing to do with Starfleet duties!" he retorted just as furious as she was "It didn't take any effort for you to break rules for me, cause that's what you do! You keep trying to cross the line, trying to cross with your superiors. As if no rules applied to you at all! Well, to me they do apply."

"Sure and let's face it, they're a LOT more important for you than I am!" she chuckled bitterly "What was I thinking? That I could expect a measure of empathy?" she asked gazing away disappointed. Data was hit by the question as if a hard fist landed in his stomach. He gaped at her shocked, and Emma went on looking into his eyes "Did you have any idea whatsoever how I would feel about going back there? Has it ever crossed your mind that I would feel horrible about it? No, of course not. You just thought 'well, she would be a little upset but girls are like that so what the hell, it would just go away', didn't you?"

"No." he told her in a low voice "I was hoping I could console you. I was hoping that you would trust me enough to believe me, if I told you that I could protect you. And no harm could come to you as long as you're with me."

Emma shook her head with a bitter expression "You cannot know that. Not with Ed Jones around."

"But you did want me down with you on the planet! You just said so at the briefing! Whatever changed since then?!" he asked desperate, and completely lost in following her capricious logic.

"Do I have any other choice?!" she retorted "You're the only one having the slightest chance at protecting me, but believe me, there're no guarantees!"

"There are never guarantees, Emma! Duty involves facing danger sometimes. Don't tell me you were not aware of that! But I will do everything to keep you safe! Why isn't that enough for you? Why are you angry at me?!" he asked now just as upset as she was.

"Because you just kept silent! You decided for me. You took away all my control over the situation! And you lied. ...Despite our agreement." she looked straight into his eyes clearly disappointed.

"Duty required it, Emma. You're as much a Starfleet officer as I am. You have to understand." he told her pleading.

"Screw that 'Starfleet duty' bullshit already, because I'm fed up with it!" she snapped "What kind of duty required you to lie?!"

He felt his chest gripped by fury he rarely felt before at this "You're accusing me when you're just as to blame?!" he asked back raising his voice.

She looked at him questioningly "Wha?"

He stepped up to her and looked straight into her eyes "You did lie during the briefing, didn't you? About the Resistance. You do know a lot more that you told us." he told her what Deanna had told them a few hours ago.

She stood his gaze for a moment longer, then snorted with a wry smile and shook her head annoyed "I almost forgot there was a betazoid in the room." she stepped away to get away from his accusing gaze "Well, you know what Deadpan?" she turned back to him from the other end of the room and shrugged "I did feel horrible about not telling at least you all about it. But now that you're throwing all that into my face, you just managed to give me absolution. Thank you, Father Confessor!" she bowed a little in mock-gratitude theatrically.

"Stop being sarcastic about this!" he snapped "It is your duty to tell the truth, if your superiors ask it of you!" - how could she be so unbelievable ignorant about this?!

Her eyes flashed "So then court martial me, Commander! It's done now for every nuisance, isn't it?" she stepped closer staring into his eyes "For things like feeling pesky emotions, which hinders abilities, right? So what would be the big deal about doing it for some lying?"

"I never meant to threaten you with being your superior. But you have to be honest with us." he tried again to sound calm and patient, but he felt his chest was gripped by the pain he tried to stifle throughout the day over how the court martial treated him.

She snorted "Yeah, so telling you the name of the leader of the Resistance or where his location is would then be the fulfilling of my duty, right? Tell me, Deadpan, if Uncle Seth sells that information to my husband for some shit he wants to gain on this mission, and Ed has the last of the Resistance murdered, who would take that responsibility? You? Me? Who?" she demanded.

"It's not our duty to decide." Data tried again patiently "We have to trust the Captain in this, it's his place to make that decision. This is why he is our superior. He carries the responsibility. Emma, I don't want the Captain to consider you untrustworthy! The Counsellor told everybody that your loyalties are divided! You need to prove her wrong! Please!"

She suddenly laughed a forced laugh "Divided? Well, just for her to know. My loyalties are not divided at all!" she looked into his shocked eyes challengingly and then went on in a lower voice "...and if Starfleet and our superiors can be trusted as much as YOUR court martial indicates... I'd advise you to reconsider whom you trust in the near future." she taunted, but her voice broke on the last word.

"You're wrong in this..." he whispered.

"So then I'm wrong!" she snapped clearly showing her fear now "But at least I can try to protect myself instead of lying on my back and opening up my belly to the hungry vultures around me so that they could slaughter me down to their liking! Like SOME do... And I'm not planning to get dissected. Like SOME do... Just to prove my loyalties."

Data bowed his head "You really think I went along with the procedure just because of that?" he asked in a shaken voice.

Emma felt her heart break seeing him so lost and hurt "No." she breathed, and he looked into her eyes with such a painful expression that it made it very difficult for her to go on "I just think that you were blackmailed into this. And you trust them enough to believe that even dissecting you would be all okay, if duty required it."

"That is not true, Emma. Believe me!" he pleaded.

"Then prove me wrong!"

"How?! It would mean that I have to leave the Enterprise!"

"Then leave it!"

"And leave my friends?! Leave you?!"

"I'm not important in this equation!"

Data snorted and bowed his head before looking back into her eyes disappointed "Curious... I thought that you were one of the most important factors in the equation." he told her silently.

Emma felt tears of frustration run to her eyes "Don't tell me you're doing this for me, please just don't!" she told him in a shaky voice.

He stepped up to her and looked into her eyes determined "I'm doing it to retain what I already have. Yourself included."

She shook her head "I can't take this responsibility!" she told him in a hushed voice.

"I'm not asking you to." he took her hand reluctantly into both of his and gazed into her eyes "All I'm asking you is to accept my reasoning. And accept my decision. And stand by me."

Emma felt her heart gripped by pain the same way he was gripping her hand. She gazed into his eyes - his beautiful, beautiful eyes - and just shook her head again "Stand by you and watch them commit a crime against you?" As she watched him bow his head and felt him let her hand go, she realized she would have to face the consequences of what she just uttered. And the consequences were just too horrible to face! She stepped away from him to hide the tears in her eyes "I had enough of this, it's a vicious circle! It never ends!" she walked over to her rack "I want to change." He remained standing there looking at her, and she frowned irritated "Alone."

He swallowed and nodded after a moment "Very well. Then we may continue our attempt at breaking the vicious circle at home."

"No." she told him in a firm voice and saw him standing there shocked as she went on "...I'm not going home... I'm not going to your place today."

He took a futile step toward her "So where will you sleep tonight?" he asked bewildered.

"My own place, Bev's place, I don't care! I want to be alone..." she told him tiredly and turned her head away.

A moment of silence descended over them like a poisonous cloud, and he realized he needed to make himself speak instead of just walking out on her "Very well. Good night to you." he whispered starting for the door when he heard her silent voice.

"What's happened to us in a day, Deadpan? Yesterday we were the happiest couple in lo..." she stopped before the word left her lips. She felt it to be a vain attempt at protecting herself by not saying the word. It seemed it didn't matter anymore, if she said it or not...

Data stood there feeling his emotions claiming all of his resources hearing her stop short before uttering the word. She is not going to say it! She is never going to say it wholeheartedly! He swallowed hard looking away "I cannot answer that..." he whispered. They stood there a moment longer in one small room but divided by a wall of desperation and doubt. "See you tomorrow." he told her and then left her alone to her tears.


	13. Chapter 13

After leaving the holodeck, Emma staggered to Beverly's quarters. She felt she was so exhausted by the day's events as if she had just finished a marathon. She felt so horrible that she wanted nothing but to simply collapse on Bev's couch and after complaining about the injustice of the universe, just cry her eyes out. She was hoping Bev could offer some alcohol - the real stuff and not synthetic - to speed up the process. She pressed the doorchime and waited, but nothing happened. She frowned, it was late, and the day was long for Bev too, where was she? She tapped her combadge.

"Jones to Crusher."

But it was the computer's voice that answered "The combadge of Doctor Crusher is currently in Do-Not-Disturb mode."

"Great. Is she in sickbay?" Emma asked grumbling.

"Doctor Crusher is currently in her quarters."

Emma's brows ran up her forehead "I beg your pardon."

"Doctor Crusher is..."

"I heard it, shut up, bitch!" she snapped irritated and examined the closed door for a few more moments "So. The grumpy Frenchman finally crossed the finish line. Swell! And no other day was good for screwing but the one, when I wanted to acquire the good doctor's attention for myself alone." she grumbled on "I'll need to kill Bev at least twice tomorrow for keeping secrets from me..." She sighed and walked off the corridor.

In the darkened bedroom, two pairs of eyes were staring at each other listening intently whether the intruder would try the doorchime again or they could continue with their activities undisturbed.

Emma walked on the corridor slouching. Yesterday night, she was the one who got her combadge placed in DND mode. And here she was now, all alone. As she walked into Ten Forward and found a place for herself to sit as far from everybody else as possible, she was already in the process of wrapping herself up in self-pity. Luckily enough, Ten Forward offered real alcoholic beverages too, not only synthehol. As she was drinking her third vodka-orange, she stopped fighting against recalling that unforgettable night. How attentive he was! How passionate! How tender! How gentle - but firm and decisive at the same time! It was all she ever dreamed of. And now... still a little sore and tired from their night together, she was sitting there all alone...

Was it worth it? Was it worth it to be right? What if he started doubting their relationship? Just because she couldn't get herself to accept his decision. But why couldn't he see how wrong it all was?! It was such a lousy reason to say that he was doing it to stay on the ship with her. It was wrong too. All the more so, that they'd been going out for only two months, and he never told her how he felt about her. It was just so uncertain... She swallowed the last of her drink. And then there was the question: did he actually love her? Was he able to love her? It was a very complex thing to feel after all, and his emotion generating chip gave him basic emotions only - at least this is how he explained it to her. Was this feeling beyond his capabilities? She sighed. It was always shocking to realize that he was not just simply a guy... She needed another shot!

"I'll have another one..." she mumbled holding her empty glass out to the waiter, stepping up to her table, not even looking up at whoever was standing next to her.

"The one thing that you need is some talk." she heard a familiar voice and raised her head to meet Guinan's kind gaze with her hazy one.

Emma stared into her dark eyes for a long moment then a chuckle blurted through her lips "Ya like listenin' to complaining, don't ya? Alright! I tell you how horrible the universe is. And how pitiful I am in it. Come, come." she patted the couch next to her, taunting even herself and a forced laugh escaped her.

Guinan smiled and shook her head "No. I had another person in mind for you to talk to. Someone who could actually answer the questions that are eating away at you." she told her and moved away a little, so Emma finally could spot Juliana standing a few steps from them, watching them.

Emma imagined Data learning about her getting drunk and talking nonsense from his own mother and felt panic gripping her "Oh, no! No way! It's bad enough that I'm drunk, but I can't talk to HER like this!" she pleaded, but Guinan just smiled her sinister smile and motioned for Juliana to sit next to Emma. The elder woman stepped up to the table, and as she locked gazes with Emma, Guinan discretely took the younger woman's glass from the table in front of her, and walked off.

Juliana sat next to Emma and smiled at her ruefully "I'm sorry this mission upsets you this much. But I think I can understand you. There are a few places I wouldn't want to go back to ever again in my life." she told her remembering how the colony on Omicron Theta was destroyed.

"It's not just that..." Emma shook her head not having the strength anymore to keep up the façade of the strong Amazon she always tried to, and all her troubles just flooded out of her "I'll have to meet my husband and believe me, if I next saw that man only in hell, that would be too soon. But if that wasn't enough, everybody around me kept silent about where we are going! Everybody! And on top of that, there's this court martial! Data never even mentioned it. He never even gave the slightest sign of having any kind of trouble. If I have to think back on our last two months together, he always seemed so happy, so carefree. And it turns out that he was fighting for his life!" she shook her head tiredly again "We had a huge fight about it all... I don't even know how we will go on... Yesterday, my biggest concern was that I wasn't sure if the guy I love loves me in return - and now? My whole life just fell apart..." she put her forehead into her palm as she propped herself up on the table.

"You'll find a way to go on, if both of you want this relationship the way you seemed to yesterday." Juliana told her in a soothing voice, but Emma just glanced at her disillusioned. Juliana took the younger woman by the shoulder and turned her to her smiling comfortingly "Emma, there are ups and downs. Sometimes, you fight. Don't be afraid of that."

Emma shrugged "I know that. I've been married for ten years..." she sighed recalling her past two months with Data "But it was just so different with him. So completely different. It was like a dream. I thought... I thought it was never going to end." she sighed again ruefully.

"It cannot end because of one single fight, Emma. No relationship does."

"No, but..." she bowed her head almost ashamed, and Juliana was hit by the realization.

"You're having doubts." she whispered stunned.

After a long moment, Emma nodded. She didn't dare to look up at the elder woman as she started to talk "The time we spent together... was so wonderful... What if... what if this was just something preset, predefined... something that wasn't him but... somebody who programmed what he is like... And what if that has its limits..."

Juliana took a moment to understand her confused sentences "You're asking whether Data was programmed to fall in love?" she asked finally.

Emma looked at her and swallowed hard "Can he actually fall in love? Or was he only programmed to seem that way? Can he feel the emotion?"

Juliana gazed away thoughtfully to give a proper answer to her question. Then looked back into her expectant eyes "Well, he was programmed to emulate certain behavioural patterns, Emma. To try to copy how others acted around him until he finally could understand WHY people acted one way or the other and could decide on how to act in a certain situation himself. There ARE certain predefined human idiosyncracies programmed in him, like the need to settle down with one woman instead of womanizing, or to pursue creative activities, or his sexual orientation. Those are things that are predefined, yes." she looked into Emma's eyes and smiled reassuringly "But we never programmed him to deceive you into believing that he loves you. If he seems to love you, that is most probably because he does love you. You don't need to doubt him. You mean a lot to him, that's plain to see. Believe me, Emma, I've never seen my son more human than last night when the two of you sat there at the dinner table with me... and looked at each other with that gaze."

Emma bowed her head trying to wrap her mind around what she heard - but she could barely wrap her mind around anything right now. Juliana saw that too and gently took her hand "You should go home and sleep, my dear."

Emma raised her head sharply at this "No! I won't! If I do, I'll have to say 'sorry', but first he has to say 'sorry'! And then I can too. But not before that!" she shook her head stubbornly like a child.

Juliana chuckled softly "Just the way Noonian and I was on Terlina. There was a full week, when we didn't even say a word to each other after a fight." Emma looked at her curiously though her gaze was still a little hazy as Juliana went on "He thought he was right! And I thought I was right! - I don't even remember the topic! But we were stubborn as a mule! Finally, one of his experiments went wrong, and we had to put out a small fire together. Afterwards, we just laughed at the whole stupidity." she gazed away smiling.

Emma listened to her propping her chin on her hand "You miss him, don't you?" she blurted without thinking.

Juliana looked at her as if waken from a dream and realizing that her recalled memory had a witness. After a moment, she nodded wordlessly.

Emma sighed "He must've been an extraordinary man if you still love him so much. After so many years." she went on musing.

Juliana smiled ruefully "Well, I won't take offence now for your pointing out my age, your slightly intoxicated state is a good excuse for being blunt." she joked then nodded "He was. He was..." she shook her head "There's no one like him. No one even in the vicinity."

Emma raised her head from her hand and cocked her head curiously "Not even your second husband?" she pried on - it seemed that all of her restrains left her with the effect of alcohol.

But Juliana seemed honest in not taking offence for her bluntness. She thought about it for a moment then decided that Emma was the one person she could completely be honest with "No, not even him..." she told her in a silent voice "And you know what the strangest of it all is? ...Ever since Pran died, I've felt a terrible loss. But slowly, I realized it wasn't for Pran. ...It's horrible to say it. But it's not for the husband I lost only months ago. It's for Noonian. And as time passes by, I'm missing him more and more. As if it was slowly dawning on me that we can never make up for all the lost years. As if I hadn't been able to grief for him, years ago, when I learned that he was... he was gone... and now it's coming back to haunt me."

After a moment of silence, Juliana felt two arms clasped firmly around her, and she smiled as she returned Emma's sudden embrace. Emma cried softly into the elder woman's shoulder "I'm so sorry..." she sniffed "I wish I could give your lost love back!" she moaned, and Juliana felt a little embarrassed by her sudden outburst of emotion as the younger woman started to talk "I wish I could get my own lost love back! I feel the same as you do, ya know? That there's no one like him! No one, you know? And I'm screwing it up! I'm screwing it up because I'm just so afraid." she pulled away a little wiping her eyes and looked into Juliana's eyes really desperate "I'm so scared of going there! I'm scared for everybody! What if something happens to one of us on that planet? What if something happens to HIM on that planet? What if Ed realizes that we are a couple, and he takes revenge? And I was the one who was so selfish that I brought him down there! I could have told him the same as I did to Deanna, that he should stay aboard the Enterprise, but I just can't go there alone! I can't even think about going there without him! ...I should do something to save all of us from this! I should just hijack the Enterprise and turn it around as long as we can escape!" Juliana could feel from her words that alcohol definitely took its toll on Emma's logical thinking. The younger woman took her hand and gazed into her eyes determined "Come on! You could help me! The Captain is screwing Bev now anyways, no one would notice if we went there and took over the ship!" she started to stand up, but Juliana pulled her back into the chair.

"No, no, Emma!" Juliana told her a little embarrassed "Stay here with me. Let's talk more."

Emma sighed "You don't believe me, do ya?" she asked disappointed.

"I do, I do believe you. I just..." Juliana had to think quickly to say something believable enough to make the younger woman stay with her instead of walking up the Bridge drunk and trying to get the helmsman to do as she wanted to. "Look... I haven't had a chance to talk about these things with anybody. I left my friends on Atrea and haven't had the time to make new friends on Earth yet. It's good to talk to somebody so honestly as I can talk to you." and she was surprised to find that her makeshift excuse was actually true.

Emma seemed to reconsider her plans for tonight at that. She then squeezed the elder woman's hand "I'll stay with ya. And I'll listen to you. You can tell me whatever ya like!" she told her attentively, and Juliana glanced away with an embarrassed smile - now what?

* * *

Beverly walked on the corridor to Data's place feeling very guilty. She knew it was Emma who rang the doorchime two hours ago, and she knew she should have been there for her - she must have felt horrible. But now she was gonna make it right. Even if Emma would be angry, she'd put up with it and would comfort her.

She pressed the doorchime and heard Data's voice saying 'come' as the door slid open. She stepped in and saw Data holding Spot close while sitting at his desk. Seeing her walking through the door, he instantly stood, letting Spot go on the floor. As he stepped up to her, she was stunned to see the profound sadness reflected in his eyes. She was struck by the thought that, though he had no outward physical sign of it, he seemed to have been crying!

"Doctor Crusher." he greeted her in his usual silent voice "What can I do for you?"

"I came to talk to Emma, but-"

"She's not here." he cut in "She wanted to be alone. She said she would sleep over at your place or would go back to her own quarters. Since you're here looking for her, I suppose she went home."

"It's easy to find out." she smiled at him and raising her head a little, she asked "Computer. Locate Lieutenant Emma Jones."

"Lieutenant Jones is at Ten Forward." the computer replied.

Beverly winced at that "Knowing her, she's not having a simple syntheholic party. I better check on her."

Data nodded concerned "Please, take care of her, Doctor." he told her in such a low voice that she barely heard him.

Beverly nodded and started for the door. After a few steps, she stopped and turned back to see his expression once again. He stood there forlorn as if loneliness wrapped around him like some thick coat. Beverly walked back to him and touched his arm. He looked at her confused, almost shocked at the touch.

"You had a fight, didn't you?" Beverly asked knowing the answer already.

Data seemed thoughtful for a long moment then looked at her cautiously "I'm reluctant to talk about it, Doctor. I'm not sure how she would react if she learned that I talked to you about our problems."

"Forget about that for a moment, and just talk to me..." she told him stroking his arm gently, he bowed his head timidly, and she pushed him on "Data, I've barely ever seen you so sad and even... tired before. I don't want to leave you here just like that." she told him in a soft voice, and he could hear how concerned she was.

Data looked into her eyes questioningly "You know I cannot get tired, Doctor."

Beverly nodded "Exactly this is why I'm worried about you, Data." she slid her hand down his arm and took his hand gently in hers.

He bowed his head, and Beverly waited for him to talk. Finally, he raised his head, and she could see tears in his eyes "I tried to do the right thing. And now the two most important people in my life are angry at me and are very disappointed in me. And I cannot see where I erred. I keep asking myself what I should have done differently..."

"Did they tell you why they're angry at you?"

He sighed and wiped his face embarrassed. He decided to talk about the less painful part: "Geordi is angry because I didn't tell him about the court martial. And that I asked Doctor Maddox to do this procedure instead of him..." he shrugged a little "It seemed he forgave me but... I just don't see how I should have acted. I really don't think he would have been happy doing this procedure, yet he is now disappointed that I didn't ask him! I really don't understand!" he told her frustrated.

She squeezed his hand in hers "He feels you shut him out, and he couldn't stand by you at the court martial, and he couldn't stand up for you the way a best friend does." she smiled at him comfortingly "He would want to protect you the same way you try to protect him."

He sighed and looked at her a little stubborn "If he wants to protect me because that's what best friends do, why is he angry at me for doing the same thing for him?"

Beverly smiled at this and shook her head "I think Geordi is more frustrated than angry, Data. You see, I felt some frustration too on hearing about your court martial. But I understand that you didn't want to talk about it. And I respect your wish. Believe me, Geordi does too. But it's difficult to accept the decision the court martial made. We all care about you. It's difficult to stand by and watch the one thing you wanted all your life taken away from you." her silent voice just drew more tears to his eyes, and he wiped his face with his hand once again.

"I know you care about me." he whispered "This is why I want to go along with the procedure. Because I want to stay on board. This is where I belong! The Enterprise is my home, and you are my family. I don't want to leave... I don't think Emma understands this. She needs to fight everything." he confessed his own disappointment finally bowing his head.

She squeezed his hand again "Oh, don't think that Emma doesn't see these things as clearly as you and I do! She does understand. But she cannot stand being the passive observant in any situation. Eventually, she will realize that you need her now to accept your decision and support you in going along with it."

Data shook his head "No. You haven't seen her, Doctor Crusher. She was beyond furious. And not only because of my decision. But because of the mission as well. I will be very surprised, if she ever wants to come home to me."

"She blamed you for not telling her about where we're going." Beverly concluded the basis of Emma's anger.

"Yes, she did. What should I have done, Doctor? It was my duty to keep silent about all the details of the mission. So what should I have done?" he asked her really puzzled again.

Beverly shook her head "Just what you actually did. You know, Emma sometimes tries to evaluate her relationships by testing the people involved. And these tests are easy to fail. I failed it as much as you did, Data. Don't think that I won't be in for trouble." she chuckled wryly "But she will need to understand that it's not fair to make her loved ones choose between their duty and their love for her. It just doesn't work that way. And you must not feel guilty about doing your job."

"Why does she do this, Doctor? What is the point in testing somebody in a way that makes him or her almost certainly fail?" he asked taken aback.

Beverly winced slightly "It's not the easiest thing to explain. But if somebody is so untrusting as Emma, she would eventually not only expect people to betray her, but actually she will make them betray her. In a way, this is laziness. It's a lot easier to regard the world to be an unfriendly, untrustworthy place instead of evaluating everything and everybody in it for what and who they are. We, you and I, and her other friends on the Enterprise fall out of the unfriendly nature of the world. We are anomalies. She sometimes needs to convince herself that we are just as untrustworthy as everybody else. It makes her feel safe." she almost seemed a little taunting.

"But that's completely illogical, Doctor!" Data gaped.

"No, Data. She feels that's the only way she can protect herself. If nobody is trustworthy, she can keep her guards up all the time. It's safer than to let you or me in. The catch is that she already let us in. She may try to scare us away all she wants, we are already there. And in the morning, she will regret that she fought with you. You're too important for her now to simply let you go just because she needs to be right."

"I wish I was as optimistic about it as you are." Data hung his head disillusioned.

"Oh, come on! Why are you two doing this?" she asked frustrated, but she was smiling as Data looked at her questioningly. She went on "In the morning, I have to convince her that you love her, in the evening I have to convince you that she loves you. Why don't you just say it to each other instead?"

Data gaped at her "She really-" he started disbelievingly, but suddenly his combadge went off.

"Ten Forward to Commander Data" they heard Guinan's voice coming through the channel.

They looked at each other surprised, frowning as Data pressed his combadge "Data here."

"Hi! There's a girlfriend for you to collect at my bar."

Data gaped bewildered, and they exchanged worried glances with Beverly "Is she alright?" he asked finally.

"Oh, she's fine. But sleeping in a bed would be more comfortable for her than sleeping on a table."

Data looked really shocked as he blinked a few times then nodded "I'm on my way, Guinan. Please take care about her till I arrive."

"Will do that. Have done so far. Take it easy. Ten Forward out." Guinan finished, and Data and Beverly strode out of his quarters wordlessly.


	14. Chapter 14

Data pulled the blanket over Emma's sleeping body as she turned to her side and reached out towards his pillow, looking for him moaning softly. She finally settled for burying her face into his pillow instead of him, and he sat down next to her on the bed to watch her sleep. He was reluctant to bring her to his own quarters, but his mother and Doctor Crusher convinced him that the one place she felt most secure was with him, so he brought her home from Ten Forward, already sleeping from the alcohol she'd consumed that night.

He watched her sleep. Time passed by slowly as he watched her chest heaving and listened to her soft breathing. Sometimes, he raised a hand almost as a second nature to stroke her hair or to take her hand in his. But he realized it would have been wrong and he would always stop mid-motion. The last time they had physical contact without being upset with each other was in the morning. The time that had passed since then was short by human standards for sure, but for him, it felt like three eternities and ten minutes. It was amazing how much he craved after touching her! The physical aspect of their relationship had always been one of the most important things they experienced together, but after last night, he felt that being without it resembled to what torture might be like for an organic being.

Spot jumped up the bed, and he could see her yellow gaze staring at him expectantly in the semi-darkness.

"No, Spot. I'm not sleeping with you two tonight. Just be a good cat and lie down, please." he asked her in a hushed whisper.

Instead of obeying, she climbed into his lap and purring, she took some circles before she found the most comfortable scooping position to sleep in. He gently stroked her fur until she fell asleep. He recalled cuddling his cat lying next to his love the night before, and he also recalled the contentment and happiness he'd felt in that amazing moment. It was in sharp contrast with the loneliness he felt now. Even though that the room was the same, the bed was the same, Spot and Emma were the same, something was very much out of place, and he couldn't think of anything but himself to be different.

In the last few weeks, he'd tried to keep his personal life apart from his professional life, so he could enjoy each and every moment of the former despite the troubles he had to face in the latter. And it was worth it! Every single moment, when Emma smiled at him so lovingly, every single kiss she had given him, every hug, every caress, every teasing was a reminder for him, that whatever was going on outside their happy home was irrelevant! These tender moments were the ones that really mattered! Those were the moments that made it worth it to make the sacrifices necessary to elongate the time they had together!

It was worth it up until the moment, he realized that Emma did not appreciate the effort at all. Moreover, she was disappointed. She'd expected him to behave very differently from the way he actually had, and he knew he had to understand the source of that disappointment, if he wanted to resolve the conflict between them. Because he wanted to. He needed to... So he decided that instead of wrapping himself up in despair, he would dedicate most of his resources to finding the reasons in the night ahead.

* * *

Emma woke slowly to the faint light coming from the other room. She blinked sleepily for a few moments, then sat up gingerly, eyes still half-closed, and when she finally realized that her head was about to fall apart, she buried her face in her palms with a soft moan.

"Here, this will help in alleviating your head ache." she heard Data's voice from above her, and as she took her hands away from her face startled, she saw him holding a glass full of some clear liquid out to her.

She took it and drank a few gulps. She sighed as the pain-killer took effect, and she felt better in a few moments. She looked around curiously "So. I did end up in your bed after all." she remarked raising an eyebrow.

"I needed to watch over you during the night." he answered in a silent voice.

She looked up into his eyes, and her mouth twitched into a challenging smile "No touch, only watched?"

However, Data was not in the mood for her teasing, and he stepped away from the bed "I thought you knew me better than to ask such a question."

"I was just joking..."

He glanced back from the doorway "I'm no expert, but I can tell you, it wasn't one of your brightest attempts at humour." he told her and went out to the workspace area.

Emma rolled her eyes and putting the glass down on the bedside table, she jumped up from the bed, and after steadying herself from her head-rush, she went after him. He was giving some food to Spot and stroked the cat as she was eating.

She watched him for a moment longer as he was crouching there with the cat so preoccupied and finally decided to just give up her pride and apologize "Could you just stop sulking, so that I could say sorry?" He raised his head, then stood. She walked up to him and went on gazing away embarrassed "I was stupid. I was angry at everybody and everything. And I took it out on you." she shrugged and grimaced still a little stubbornly "Not that I wouldn't have appreciated you telling me where we were going, but..." she looked up at him again and shrugged once more "I understand why you didn't."

He glanced away and thought back to what Doctor Crusher had told him yesterday. She seemed to be right. "I'm glad you came to terms with it." he nodded and stepped away from her.

He put on his uniform top and started to do the fastenings.

Emma rolled her eyes and felt herself becoming angry again at his sulking "I said I'm sorry, what else do you want me to do, Data? Kneel in front of you and pray to the god of cybernetics for forgiveness?" He finished buttoning his uniform top and just gazed into her eyes without saying a word. It was the kind of expression she came to know to be so neutral, that she could project literally any emotion to it - now she saw accusation and pain and disappointment. It made her heart sink. No. No, please just don't! Don't say you're having doubts now! She stepped up to him and gazed into his eyes pleading - pride forgotten "Please, just let's talk! Please!"

Data's expression softened a little, but then he gazed away regretfully "I wish I had the time. However, I have to go to meet Doctor Maddox at the transporter room." and he started for the door.

She couldn't hide the shock in her voice as she called after him "You do go along with this, don't you?"

Data sighed now impatiently as he turned back "What other choice do I have, Emma?"

She stepped up to him again "Refuse this! Defy them, don't let them dissect you!" she asked him pleading.

"Don't you understand?! I'd have to leave the Enterprise!" he retorted.

"And does it worth it to stay on board under such conditions?" she asked desperately.

"It is worth it to stay with the people I regard as my family!" he repeated his one reason he held on to as if his life depended on it.

She shook her head getting really upset with him being so passive about this "Why don't you at least try to fight this? I can't believe you are going into this without at least protesting!"

"I fought it. Captain Picard fought it. We failed. The court martial made a decision. I chose to go along with it. There's nothing to fight anymore..."

"But can't you see how unfair this is?!" she cut in "Nobody else is asked to stop feeling emotions just because it may cloud our judgement! It's nonsense! How can they ask you to do it? How can you just agree on forgetting about the one thing you always wanted?!" she asked now demandingly.

"I'm not nobody else, Emma."

"But..."

"You keep thinking about me as if I was a human! I am not a human!" he cut in raising his voice - her eyes reflected utter shock as he went on in a softer voice "I am an android, Emma. A machine... And I'm very grateful to you that you try to keep up a wonderful illusion by considering me a human. Nobody has ever done this for me, and I was very happy losing myself in it. However... it is still only an illusion." he instinctively raised his hand to touch her but stopped in the motion and dropped his hand to his side as he went on in a low, rueful voice "I wish it wasn't. I wish I was the person you see in me."

"You are!" she breathed feeling a catch in her throat.

"No, I'm not." he shook his head wistfully "You were right yesterday. I have serious gaps in my knowledge and ability of empathy. You want to face it or not, it is precisely because I am a machine. I thought about this all night. I think you were so angry at me, because you really think of me as a human. And a human would never have let you down the way I did. It was a harsh proof that made you realize the fact that I'm not a human... and maybe even the fact that I never will be." he gazed into her desperate eyes for a long soul-searching moment then swallowed hard "I wish you could accept that. But ...you'll have to decide that for yourself." he whispered "I'll see you later." he said goodbye and was gone a moment later.

"Yeah..." she breathed as the door slid shut after him and she remained in his room so terribly empty without him that her heart broke.


	15. Chapter 15

Data was still preoccupied by their conversation with Emma, when he stepped over the threshold of transporter room 3. She'd seemed so desperate, so taken aback by what he'd told her that he was beginning to doubt that he had reached the right conclusion in his over-night analysis. However, he needed to push the thought-process to the background for now, because Doctor Bruce Maddox materialized in front of him on the transporter pad.

The two men looked into each other's eyes for a long moment. They hadn't met for eight years in person, and though they regularly exchanged subspace messages, meeting each other face to face was a more dramatic experience than either of them expected.

"Data." Maddox smiled a friendly smile as he stepped down the pad and extended his hand.

"Doctor." Data nodded and accepted his offered hand. He was surprised by the profound fear of this man's touch that was generated by his emotion-chip. It was almost as if it was triggered in response to a primal urge of self-preservation no matter how well he knew that he had nothing to fear anymore. His sentience was proven eight years ago, the Federation accepted it as well. No man in the universe could hurt him without the prospect of facing the same consequences as if he hurt an organic sentient being. And yet... well, these were the moments, when he thought living without emotions was by far easier than living with them.

Maddox let his hand go and looked over him smiling - Data never appreciated that look on the Doctor's face, not when they met eight years ago on the bridge of the Enterprise-D, and certainly not now. However, now he was able to assign a feeling to that sensation: he felt very uncomfortable by his look, as if he was a piece of food put on display for people to choose and consume - or a slave in a slave-market to be bought... - Stop it! he told himself, You're being perfectly unreasonable!

"How are you, Data?" the Doctor asked kindly.

"Fine, Sir, thank you. And you?" Data answered politely, and Maddox' face lit up.

"Your response is a lot more natural than it used to be." his lips curled up in a smile again, and his eyes shone with excitement "From your messages, I could judge the rate of your development. But to see it so closely... it's remarkable!" he whispered the word awed.

Data was not sure how to respond to that. He glanced away embarrassed "Thank you, Sir. I suppose..." he added in a low voice then looked back at him "I'll show you to your quarters."

"Ah, let's not waste any time with that, Data! Let's go to the lab right away."

In a few minutes, Data was sitting in the lab hooked up to the computer by an optic cable, and Maddox was downloading his diagnostic logs to his padd standing next to him.

"Your emotion-chip generated a lot more logs in the last two months than before that. Not counting the first few months when you started to utilize it, of course." Maddox remarked looking closely at the data appearing on his padd.

"I'm aware of the change, Sir." Data replied silently.

"It's remarkable that it's possible to measure your feelings even by the amount of generated logs. I wonder if there's a preset threshold above which the magnitude of the feelings cannot go." the Doctor mused pressing some buttons on the pad to make it yield some statistics.

"The chip can overload, as I have mentioned in my subspace message of stardate 48651.7, Sir. Therefore, it is conceivable that there is a threshold like the one you suggest." Data told him matter-of-factly. He watched the cyberneticist so deeply wrapped up in his work still with some measure of fear. Apart from Geordi and Doctor Crusher, in the last years, he hadn't let anybody else to examine him. When he'd invited Maddox, he hadn't expected that the doctor's presence would trigger such emotions in him. Maybe he should have asked Geordi to be present during the examination - but he just didn't want the tension that this topic generated to grow between them.

After a few moments of staring at his padd, Maddox raised his head "Hmm... Let me see the schematics of the circuits around the chip."

"You may download that as well, Sir, by accessing the diagnostic service of the chip." Data offered in as a professional voice as he could muster "The diagram highlights circuits generated recently. I believe there will be some difference compared to the diagram I've sent to you four weeks ago."

Maddox frowned perplexed as the diagram appeared on the padd's display "Hmm, some difference!" he pressed a few buttons and made the diagram appear on the large display of the computer console next to them "Look at this, Data." he called in a stunned voice. Data gaped too in surprise seeing the display.

There were dozens of highlighted newer circuits around the emotion-chip and at least a hundred older ones. They ran out and about the chip forming nodes at places. "The chip is designed to evolve, Doctor. For this reason, it seems it is capable of forming new nodes in my neural net that would serve as sub-processors to aid it." Data said stunned.

"Were you aware of this behaviour, Data?" Maddox asked curiously looking at him.

"Not until now, Sir." Data shook his head looking only at the screen.

Maddox furrowed his brows confused "This just doesn't make sense to me, Data. These nodes" he pointed to the screen where the circuits ran together to form small centers "they look just like any other sub-processors that you have. On their own, your sub-processors are not capable of generating emotions. So how can they give any kind of aid to the emotion-chip? Have you ever realized that the chip can use normal sub-processors in this way?"

Data gazed away thoughtfully "Well... I experience the effect. The more circuit patterns lead to my emotion-chip, the more emotions I'm able to feel and experience. And their magnitude change too. However, I do not understand the mechanism behind this behaviour myself, Doctor."

The cyberneticist seemed to consider all of this for a few moments then looked into Data's eyes with a very professional look on his face "I will need to examine this more thoroughly before we go on with the procedure that the court martial prescribed. I don't intend to hinder this capacity to evolve that the chip shows in any way by doing the procedure without proper preparation. It might take a day or two to do a full analysis. I'm sorry."

Data nodded and tried not to show how relieved he was "It is perfectly alright, Doctor. I am not in a hurry."

Maddox nodded understandingly "I know it's not YOU who is in a hurry about this procedure." he helped Data unhook from the computer, and the android closed the service door on his head. He pushed his fingers through his hair to tidy it and stood. Maddox stepped up opposite him and looked into his eyes "I want you to know that I don't agree with the decision of the court martial. It's unjust. You ARE sentient, and you have as much right to feel emotions as any of us."

Data nodded in gratitude and felt his guards lower a little - it was perfectly unreasonable to feel any kind of fear or hostility towards this man because of events that transpired eight years ago. He knew that rationally, though after utilizing his chip two years prior, he had finally been able to process the events of that devastating legal hearing emotionally as well, and he needed to make a conscious effort of not showing his all-consuming fear and even hatred in his subsequent subspace messages to the doctor. It was a very difficult process. But now, it seemed that under the friendly helpfulness of the cyberneticist, slowly his emotions conceded to start trusting this man.

"Thank you, Doctor." he told him in his silent voice.

Maddox then gazed away as if considering a topic he seemed very uncomfortable to bring up "What if..." he looked into Data's golden eyes with his cold blue gaze "What if I could try to help?"

"To help, Sir?" Data frowned "In what fashion?"

"I might be able to ...to call in a few favors from high ranking officers, who might be able to call in a few favors themselves... It might, MIGHT be just enough to turn the tide in your favor, Data, and change the decision of the court martial." Maddox's eyes shone with a strange determination - very similar to what Data saw vividly in his memories of eight years ago - and the fear that Data'd just dismissed returned right away.

He frowned confused and cocked his head "I... My ethical programming is strongly against favoritism, Doctor. Although it is true that I would be very glad, if the decision of the court martial could be reversed."

Maddox smiled eagerly "Oh, Data, it would not be favoritism at all! As I have told you, it's rather doing some favors to old acquaintances and friends. Do you understand it now?" he asked, and Data did understand that there was an added meaning in that sentence. Maddox expected something from him.

"I am unsure what I might give you in return, Doctor." he admitted, but his heart now pounded like a drum in his chest, and he barely any time felt as frightened as now.

Maddox gazed away with a grim expression "You know my last attempt at recreating Doctor Soong's work failed."

"I know." Data whispered - would he want to disassemble me the same way he did eight years ago?! That would make no sense! He knows I would not go along with it!

Maddox went on in a shaken voice "It was the twelfth android I lost in three years. It's as painful to watch them die after such a short life as it was for you to watch your own attempt at creating an offspring suffer a cascade failure."

Data's heart lurched as all his memories of Lal flooded his mind as if they'd happened only a minute ago. How she held his hand, how she went away telling him she loved him - and how he was not able to requite her love. Lal...

Maddox went on, and his frustration was palpable "It's all because the model I use is not complete. Not perfect. Not perfect enough!" he looked into Data's eyes again now really determined "I NEED a guide! I need to see what makes your brain stable while all other attempts fail."

Data felt now really upset. The fear this man triggered, the memories of Lal... he felt he reached his limits in dealing with so many strong emotions! He shook his head swallowing hard "I do not believe I can help you in that, Doctor. As I have told you eight years ago. I am willing to assist you. But only when you're ready. With all due respect, I do not think you are ready, Sir."

Maddox' lips curled up into a nervous smile "Data. You misunderstand me. I don't require YOU to be my guide."

Data frowned utterly puzzled "Who else could..." he started and then gaped as the realization hit him "Lore... You want me to give you Lore..." he whispered shocked.

Maddox nodded "Precisely." seeing Data's shock, he went on "Look, Data. Lore was a criminal. A murderer. It was responsible for hundreds of lives taken."

Data shook his head in firm denial "Though these statements are true, Sir, he is still my brother. And he is not dead! Merely deactivated. Therefore I cannot let you simply dissect him!"

Maddox went on, his hands came up into fists as he tried to convince the hard-headed android "It's not sentient, Data! It never was! It's just the result of an experiment going terribly wrong! I'm convinced that Doctor Soong never intended to create the monster Lore has become!"

Data took a few paces to distance himself from the other man and looked back at him from the opposite console "Doctor Maddox, my Father was in great pain because of how Lore turned out! However, he wanted to make everything right for him! He wanted to fix him. However, he never had the chance."

Maddox just couldn't give up, he strode up to him and tried again "Look, Data! If I can understand Doctor Soong's work thoroughly, I might be able to fulfill his wish, and I might be able to fix Lore."

Data shook his head "I cannot gamble with my own brother, Doctor! Especially not for my own interests!"

"Don't you see, Data? It would be mutually good for all parties involved! You might get your emotions back full time, I get my guidance, and your father's wish might be fulfilled. Even Lore could have a chance at a new life. Don't tell me this doesn't sound appealing to you!"

"Doctor Maddox, all of what you're proposing sound intriguing. As always. However, I cannot see you considering what might happen if your proposal has a negative outcome. What if something goes wrong? What if you never reach your goal, and your ministrations render Lore into a state beyond repair? How can either of us deal with our conscience then?" he asked trying hard to sound as rational as possible - and hide how upsetting it all was!

"Data. I tell you again. Lore is not a sentient being! It's only the product of an ill-fated experiment. There's nothing to feel bad about even if I don't succeed! But believe me, I WILL succeed! Once I get my guidance, I know I will! Why aren't you looking at the positive outcome of my proposal? We could give Lore a chance to be a sentient being just like you! We are giving it an opportunity!"

Data's hands came up into fists, and his eyes blazed with fury "Maybe Lore's sentience was never proven as mine was. But he IS sentient. As my Father told us, we are virtually identical, except for a bit of programming. When Lore was activated, he had feelings. Tangled with ambition so much that he was ready to sacrifice others for them, but he had feelings. You might know people like that yourself, Sir." Data told him in a hard voice - it seemed Emma's sarcasm did have an effect on his way of thinking!

Maddox raised his head sharply at this "Stop being so hypocritical! If you considered your 'brother' sentient yourself, you'd have sent him to a prison instead of dismantling him!"

And that hit a very sensitive nerve with Data. He looked into the cyberneticist's eyes shaken and hurt - knowing he WAS guilty in what the doctor was accusing him of "As you are well aware of the fact, sir, he would not have been dealt with as an organic criminal. And even if he would, I would never wish my brother to be confined for the rest of his life for his crimes. For an android, it would mean eternity. The only way I could protect him is by dismantling him myself. It was the hardest decision I ever made, and I didn't make it to sell him out. To use him for my own benefit. So I'm sorry, Sir, but I cannot take your offered opportunity."

Maddox shook his head frustrated but saw now that he would need to get a grip on the android by his emotions rather than his rationality. He sighed a troubled sigh "You're making a mistake. At least consider it before making such a hasty decision, Data! Would your 'brother' rather sit on a shelf taken apart than to have a chance at a new life? At least consider this. Please."

Before Data could reply, they heard a silent voice from the doorway "Data." Juliana called softly.

Data looked at her and then glancing back at Maddox he turned to her: "Mother. Is there something wrong?" he asked concerned.

Juliana walked up to them and looked at the stranger curiously then back at her son "No, not at all. I just wanted to check on you."

Data nodded then as Maddox looked at her curiously, he realized he should introduce them to each other: "I see. Mother, this is Doctor Bruce Maddox. The most knowledgeable cyberneticist regarding Father's work. This is my Mother, Juliana Tainer."

Maddox' eyes shone with a new light as he extended his hand "Data has told me about you in his messages. You were the assistant of Doctor Soong, am I correct?"

They shook hands, and Juliana corrected him "I was more than a simple assistant, I was a junior-cyberneticist in his lab on Omicron Theta. In essence, I was his right hand."

"Ah, I see now! But you're not in the field of cybernetics anymore. I would know you, if you were." he smiled a nervous smile, which was somehow too friendly for Juliana's liking.

She shook her head "No. Cybernetics is not the most reliable science. You can never calculate the end-result beforehand. I wanted to do a job, where the rules are less hectic, and the results are more predictable, so now I'm a geologist."

"Oh, but this is the beauty in cybernetics! You have to take those risks, Ms. Tainer, so that the end-result could turn out as remarkable as... well, as Data." he looked over at Data once again, and Juliana felt that the admiration in his eyes was less for his son's personality, and a lot more for the fact that he was such a perfect piece of engineering - she felt a chill run up her spine.

Maddox went on "I was just telling Data about my proposal to him that could be for the benefit of all of us. Maybe you could help me convince him!"

"I'm sorry, Doctor Maddox!" Data cut in "My Mother and I have some errands to run before the away-mission. So if you'd excuse us." he put his hand on his mother's arm as if to try to protect her - Juliana was surprised by the gesture.

Maddox saw that he had to wait for the right time, so he let them go "Of course, Data. I will notify you when I'm ready for the procedure." he told the android, trying to sound as helpful as he could, while he was still fuming inside.

"Thank you, Doctor." Data nodded and putting his arm gently around his mother's shoulder motioned her out to the corridor.

When the door closed behind them, Juliana stopped Data with a worried expression on her face "Data. Are you going to tell me who this man is?" He turned to her and she went on "Yesterday, when you mentioned this man's name, all of your friends seemed to become really nervous and worried."

He bowed his head to try to think of something to say to her then gazed back at her "He IS the most knowledgeable about Father's work - apart from you, I suppose... It is true though that we have a past." he glanced away again considering how much to tell her, and decided that there was no point in making her worried. He looked at her with a small smile "You need not to worry, Mother. Let us concentrate on our mission ahead of us."

However, Juliana frowned annoyed "Data, I'm not a stupid, senile old woman, so please stop treating me as such! I can see that something has made you upset. When I stepped into that lab, you seemed as if you were ready to jump that man. Adding that to the worry of your friends..."

"Please, Mother..." he cut in and then sighed to impose a measure of patience on himself "I WILL tell you everything. When I'm ready for it. I promise."

Juliana watched the emotions flicker over his pale face and she could see that he tried everything to hide how upset he was. She needed to give him the time and space he wanted. She nodded: "Alright."

Data felt really bad about shutting his mother out in this way, and he wanted to somehow reassure her. He considered what to say to her, but then struck by a thought, he simply took her by the shoulder and gave her a kiss on the forehead. Juliana then drew him in for a short hug. They gazed into each other's eyes for a long moment - strangely enough, he felt relieved and soothed by her touch, in a similar way Emma's touch could calm him. "Let's go." he told her with a soft smile, and they started for the turbolift without saying another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The concept that Data and Maddox' relationship deteriorated because the former refused to give over the bodies of Lore and Lal to the latter is from Jeffrey Lang's Immortal Coil - Read it, it's a great book! I changed his idea here somewhat but credits should go to him.


	16. Chapter 16

Emma walked to sickbay feeling completely down in the dumps. It wasn't enough that she'd have to meet her husband later that day, but it seemed that making peace with Data proved to be a lot more difficult than she'd ever have thought. What else would this day bring? she wondered as she stepped into sickbay.

She was startled by a furious Doctor Powell who literally jumped her the moment she entered: "Jones! When do you think you're walking in to your workplace?! Where have you been for half a day?!"

Emma blinked wearing a really dumb expression on her face for a moment - did she screw up and mixed up the dates? - then she furrowed her brows: "I have a day-off today." she told him finally a little unsure herself.

Doctor Powell was not embarrassed by his outright mistake, he crossed his arms in front of his chest "Then it means you're in need for medical attention perhaps? Otherwise you have no business in sickbay." he hissed.

Emma mirrored his posture and folded her arms too "Now that you mention it. Do you have anything against a pain in the ass?"

Powell seemed to blow up at this, and he stepped very close to her "You really think you can get away with everything just because the CMO is your friend. Well, just for you to know, she has her own bosses too."

Emma smirked, and in the corner of her eye, she could see that some of the staff in sickbay were actually watching them. She snorted "Just go ahead, try to report Beverly to her bosses. They'll surely believe a jealous little man! You are accusing Beverly with favouritism?! You, when everybody knows that you want the same thing for your own daughter? Awfully credible, Sir."

Powell's face turned purple at this. He tried everything to be subtle about his plans in bringing his daughter on board two months ago. The job was then given to Emma and as time passed by, he was more than frustrated that all his attempts at making her life as hard as possible failed. He never thought that anyone was aware of the fact that he held a grudge because of his daughter - he didn't know that Starfleet Medical notified Beverly about the requested transfer, who then told Emma...

"What's going on here?" Beverly came out of one of the labs and stepped to the two stubborn mules.

Emma stared into Powell's eyes for a moment longer then shrugged resignedly "You know what? You might get what you wish sooner than you think..." she told the man who just looked at her puzzled and bewildered. She then turned and walked out slouching.

Beverly looked at Powell and then the rest of the medical team questioningly, but then all of a sudden, everybody seemed to be completely wrapped up in their jobs - Powell stood there seemingly very uncomfortable. Beverly didn't feel like listening to his flood of complains about Emma, so she just turned and went after her friend.

She didn't have to go too far, Emma went into her office next to sickbay and waited for her. Beverly found her there sitting on the couch, slouching, staring at the ground with a listless expression. She watched her friend for a moment longer then went to sit next to her.

They sat there in silence for a few moments, then Emma raised her head and looked at her "I should be shouting at you for keeping secrets from me. But I'm just too curious. Is the grumpy Frenchman as good in crumpling the bedclothes as he thinks he is?"

Bev put her forehead into her palms with a moan "Oh, please rather just shout at me for not telling you where we're going..."

Emma snorted "You're late with that, sweetie. I already took my anger about that out on Data. But thanks for the offer to be my mental punching bag. Next time, I'll remember to give you a call. Now, I'd rather like to hear details. If I couldn't acquire your assistance in getting drunk yesterday, at least I'd like to hear a good enough reason for it." Bev squinted at her seeming very embarrassed from behind her palms as she went on "Now my guess is that you finally hooked up with your gallant Captain. And with a detailed description, you could save your butt to be kicked for keeping it a secret from me!" she then crossed her legs and leaned back comfortably on the sofa "So out with it, sweetie. I'm all ears!"

Beverly leaned back too, dropping her hands on her lap and grimaced uncomfortably "Emma, I don't want to disappoint you, but you're just imagining things."

"Oh, do I?!" Em asked now with an irritated frown "I went to your quarters yesterday, and you didn't open up. I know you were inside, and your combadge was placed in DND mode. Correct me if I'm wrong but you don't happen to be locking yourself up into your quarters just because you're shy about watering the plants or watching a holo-vid. Judging by the evidence presented, your denial of the facts goes beyond insulting!" she told her in mock-indignation.

"Em, please, it's a bit more complicated than..."

"I understand it, if you want to keep it a secret from everybody else." Em cut in "I'd even promise not to tell Data about it - well, not that amongst the shouting we've been doing lately, there would be any space for gossiping. But what's such a big deal about this that you're so embarrassed about in front of ME? I've been rooting for the two of you for months!" she told her completely frustrated.

"That's exactly it!" Beverly cut in. Emma looked at her now really confused, and Bev sighed seemingly trying to take up the courage to tell her something big.

Em seeing her struggling, put her teasing aside for a moment, and put a gentle hand on her friend's shoulder "Hey..." she called softly, and Bev looked at her still seemingly very unsure of herself "We've been friends for decades. If you told me that you'd want to turn ebony black, I'd understand that too - my support'd be a bit low-key, but even I can't be perfect all of the time..." she said turning her palm up with a smile.

Bev chuckled shaking her head "Your modesty has always amazed me, dear."

Em shrugged "Well, don't tell me it's not soothing to know that there're things in the universe that don't change."

"I'm very relieved." Bev agreed and chuckled dryly.

"Swell. Now, spill it, cause curiosity is eating away at me, and Uncle Seth will be very disappointed, if he can only bring my remains for Ed to harass..."

Beverly smiled ruefully and bowed her head shrugging "Look, what I've told you is the truth... I've not 'hooked up' - as you say - with Jean-Luc."

Em opened her mouth incredulously to tell her not to pull her leg - but as she looked at her friend, she realized that Bev looked perfectly honest. "You really didn't..." she breathed stunned.

Bev shook her head "No..." she said silently.

"So then... who was with you in your quarters yesterday?" Emma asked really shocked.

Bev looked at her nonchalantly, trying to sound convincing "I never said there was anybody there with me in my quarters!"

Em rolled her eyes annoyed "You just locked yourself up because you're afraid the Wolf is gonna pay you a visit after eating Granny? C'mon Bev! You knew I would be coming to you. You knew it was me who rang your doorchime..."

"Okay, fine, fine! Just stop it!" Bev cut her off, giving in to her interrogation. She sighed and admitted in a low voice "It's Ensign Joffrey."

Emma blinked for a good few moments with a blank expression "That blond kid who got assigned to the Enterprise a month ago?"

"Yeah..." Bev nodded blushing embarrassed.

Emma took a few more moments to digest the information then looked into Bev's eyes again suspiciously "But you did ask for his ID before humping him, right? I would take it hard, if I had to bail you out of the brig for soliciting a minor."

Bev rolled her eyes irritated as she lay her forehead in her palm, but at the same time her lips curled up in a helpless smile "Oh, just go to hell!" she breathed.

Em shrugged trying to seem innocent but couldn't help the grin that crept on her features "I'm sorry, but he DOES seem young! Does his beard grow at all?"

Bev looked at her now really annoyed "Em, he's twenty-nine!"

"So he IS young!"

"He's an adult who is perfectly capable of deciding who he wants to be with. Besides, he was the one making the move on me, not reversed!"

Emma's grin was now from ear to ear "So. The good doctor got enchanted by the charms of a teen! Well-well-well, what do you know!"

Bev squinted at her "Look who's talking? Because Emma Jones' brain was not turned by a virtually teenager's charms, right? Because you were just immune to the fact that a young, innocent man was crazy about you. You just ignored it, right?"

"Hey-hey-hey, back-off, missy! It was a completely different situation!"

"Oh, was it."

"Yes, it was! I was never in love with a gallant Captain who was worshiping the ground I walked on. Even if I'm officially married and you're not, I've been more of a single than you've ever been in the last years! And you know that!"

"That doesn't matter now!"

"Why, because you fell madly, passionately in love with the handsome Ensign - in a week?!"

"I never said that! ...We agreed that we wouldn't push each other into anything. No strings attached."

"Oh, I see now! So you're fooling around with the kid to make the grumpy Frenchman jealous! Brilliant tactics! But don't push it too hard, or you'll scare them both away!"

"No! Em! Understand it once and for all! Jean-Luc and I, we're never gonna be a couple! Ever!"

Emma blinked for a few moments at that. They've been discussing the cat-and-mouse relationship the Captain and Bev was in, and though Beverly was always embarrassed to admit her affection for Picard, after some interrogation, she would always confess her hopes. She'd never been so adamant about the opposite. Ever. "Why, Bev?" Emma asked shocked "What's changed?"

Beverly sighed feeling her heart sink and then gazed away remembering "After the premiere of Dreamland, we... There was a moment when I..." she shrugged slightly looking for words "I thought that if it didn't happen then, it never would. We... we were about to kiss and... and I know we both wanted it. And yet..." she grew silent not really knowing what to say.

Emma waited for her to go on, but as it was plain that Bev was lost in her thoughts, Em pushed her on after a few moments "What happened, Bev?" she asked in a soft voice.

Beverly looked at her as if waken from a dream and bowing her head she just shrugged confused "I don't know... We simply let go of each other."

Emma thought about it for a little while really stunned by this piece of news "Well... I'd never have guessed that my teenager android has more balls to get the girl he wants than the gallant Captain Picard." Beverly looked at her as she went on "When Data and I hooked up, we both had our fair share of doubts. But at the end of the day, even though he was barely more than a teenager in his emotions, he made up his mind. And so did I."

"That's exactly it, Em..." Beverly told her in a silent, regretful voice. Emma looked at her questioningly, and she went on "I think that Jean-Luc has made up his mind too." she looked into Emma's eyes, and her friend could very well see how hurt she was "I think he made a decision of never to pursue whatever our feelings dictate."

Emma looked at her gaping, stunned at this. After a few moments, when she was able to overcome her shock, she took Beverly's hand into hers "If it's so, the loss is his, and he's a real fool."

Bev sighed wincing "What if he's right?" At Emma's questioning gaze she went on explaining "We've been fantasizing about this for years, even decades! How could it possibly turn out good, if you go into a relationship with so many and so high expectations? We have every chance to fail, and then our friendship would be lost too. And he is perfectly right in trying to protect that."

Emma rolled her eyes "That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard you make up for a guy for being a loser!"

Bev frowned and took her hand away from hers, then stood and walked a good few meters from her. Emma stared at her surprised as Bev looked back at her really disappointed "You know what? This is exactly why I didn't want to talk about this with you. Why can't you just accept it? Why do you need to push this on?"

Em stood up frowning too "Because there's no point in trying to protect a guy, who is simply too cowardly to take up the risks in a relationship you've both been wanting for years."

"So then be it! He's a coward, and a loser, and I'm as much a cowardly loser as he is! And you were RIGHT! Feeling better now?" Beverly retorted and then turned away from her friend.

Emma stood there petrified for a moment watching her friend struggling to hide her tears. Then walked up to her and wordlessly turned her around and hugged her gently. Beverly let her. It was rare that Emma showed her affection through physical contact, and now Bev was really moved that for her she was willing to put aside her inhibitions. She hugged her friend gratefully.

After a long moment, Emma started to talk in a soft voice "It's not easy to give up loving somebody after such a long time. And it's even more difficult to do it alone." she pulled away and looked into Beverly's tear-filled eyes "I'm sorry for being a lousy friend whom you felt you couldn't talk to. Please, just ignore me, and talk to me if you need help. I'm here for you, Bev."

Beverly gazed away guiltily then back at her "I didn't mean it, Em. I was just..." she shook her head "I haven't been able to digest all of this myself. And saying it aloud..." she trailed off feeling really helpless.

"Makes it too real, right?" Emma finished for her.

Beverly nodded "It feels so final. Maybe hope is the most difficult thing to give up." Emma nodded thoughtfully, and Bev tightened her embrace around her for a moment "Forget what I said. You're a very good friend. Even if it's difficult, your making me talk does help a lot."

Emma smiled relieved "Then I'll make you talk a lot, sweetie! From now on, about the gallant Ensign."

Beverly chuckled and rolled her eyes playfully "Oh, be careful what you wish for." she told her sniffling.

They let go of each other "Come on, Bev, I told you I want details! So how did he make that move?"


	17. Chapter 17

Beverly was saved from any serious interrogation by the opening door: Data and Juliana stepped through it, and Data as usual asked politely: "Are we disturbing you?"

"Not at all, come in." Beverly told him reassuringly "You came to have yourself turned into a human, right?" she smiled kindly.

Data nodded "That is at least in looks, Doctor."

"Fine. I'll bring the phase refractor. Be right back." she said and left the three of them alone.

"What kind of a tool is she talking about?" Juliana asked curiously.

Data clasped his hands in front of him and started to explain in a professional voice "The bioplast covering reacts to certain wavelengths of polarized light, if the phase is properly modulated by the electromagnetic wave's refraction. The method not only works on my 'skin', but also does on my eye-coloring. As it is rather complicated to calculate the proper phase modulation, frequency and wavelength that would produce the desired effect, we built a tool to fulfill the task. When the Captain and I had to go to Romulus disguised as Romulans, my skin was 'dyed' to resemble to that of a Romulan in this fashion."

"I see." Juliana nodded thoughtfully "When Noonian designed your looks, he went with the technology available at the time to give you looks as human as possible. We knew of no method to color your skin in those days."

"I see..." Data mused on this for a moment "I always thought, Father left the color of the bioplast raw on purpose, so that the illusion of me being a human would not be so complete." he said silently, but his gaze wandered from Juliana to Emma.

She glanced away and had to forcefully stop herself from saying 'Just stop this bullshit!' Juliana turned her gaze from Data to Emma, and could very well feel the tension between the two of them. It seemed they were not able to reconcile since last night, she thought regretfully.

Beverly came back, had him sit in a chair, and she sat opposite him, while Emma and Juliana stood a little farther away from them.

"Now, let me see." she said smiling. "Do you have anything in mind? Any preference of skin or eye-color?"

Data shrugged grimacing a little listlessly "I trust your taste, doctor."

Beverly smiled with sparkling eyes "Oh, with pleasure, Data!" she said, and Emma took a small step toward them "Just make sure not to get too creative, Bev, and make him end up purple!"

Juliana and Beverly chuckled, but Data's lips didn't even twitch to show mirth, and a chilling sensation ran up Emma's spine: was the procedure already done? Did he feel no emotions anymore? Or he simply didn't feel like laughing that day - he wasn't really in the mood for humour in the morning either...

"Let's start with something as close to your current look as possible, okay?" Bev told him, and as he nodded his assent, she changed the setting of the instrument. "Shut your eyes!" she commanded, and as he obeyed, she started to move it over his face. As it emitted a strange soft light, his skin started to turn into a more natural pink color. Juliana and Emma stepped closer to them and watched in wonder. When all his face was colored, Beverly turned the instrument off "You may open your eyes now. What do you think?" she asked looking at the two women. Both of them stood there gaping amazed. He looked so human, that they barely could believe it, though his skin color was only slightly different from his original.

"May I see it too, Doctor Crusher?" Data asked silently, and Bev realized she forgot to give him a mirror. She jumped up and fetched a mirror from her drawer then handing it to him, sat back opposite him. He looked at himself with a deadpan expression.

"Do you like it, or should we go for a darker tone?" Beverly asked smiling.

"It is perfectly fine, Doctor, thank you."

"What about your eyes? You sure, you don't have a preference?" Bev interrogated him on trying to drive him out of his passivity. He simply shook his head, and she looked at the ladies thinking "Oh, I have an idea!" she declared and changed some settings of the instrument "Let me!" she asked and held it above his eyes - they slowly turned into a sparkling gray-blue color.

"Oh, my god!" Juliana breathed as Beverly finished, and Data looked at her. She stood there petrified, gaping as if she saw a ghost! He not only resembled Noonian anymore! He was the spitting image! Only a lot younger than she remembered!

Beverly smiled at him cheerfully "I was thinking you might like to 'inherit' your mother's eye color!" True as it was, Juliana's eyes were the color of the stormy sea, but Beverly never knew that that was the same gray-blue color his Father's eyes used to have.

Data looked into the mirror and was really surprised by what he saw: his father was looking back at him from his very first dream sequence. He looked at her mother, Juliana was standing there still in awe, and he suddenly felt really embarrassed. Two days ago, he made her mother cry by resembling his father simply in his gestures. Now, he looked exactly like his father - he didn't want her to keep feeling uncomfortable with him because of his looks. He looked at Beverly timidly "It is a most considerate thought of you, Doctor. I appreciate it. However, now that I come to think of it, I'd prefer something closer to my original eye-color. Green perhaps."

Beverly looked from him to Juliana and back, and she could see that she must have hit a nerve in some way, only she didn't quite understand how. She complied without a question "Sure, Data. Let me see!" she set the instrument and colored his eyes pale green.

Emma watched the scene in silence. When she saw Data look at his mother's reaction to his blue eyes, relief washed over her: he was still the same Data she came to know in the last two months, he still had his emotions, he looked so embarrassed. But it was plain that he was upset after talking to this Doctor Maddox. She came to know his way of dealing with strong emotions by trying to hide them as well as he was able to.

It was also plain that Juliana was shocked seeing him turning into so human, and she had to admit, she herself was astonished too. Even though that the end-result was not much different from his original looks: his skin was still pale, with only a vague tinge of pink, his eyes were green, but in shade or semi-darkness, nobody could tell that it was not the original yellow, and Bev gave his lips a faint red accent too, so they resembled human lips more, but it was really light and otherwise his features stayed the same. Still the change was stunning: he was as dashing a human as he'd been an android.

"How do you like it?" Beverly asked Data, who was looking at himself in the mirror with childlike wonder on his features.

"I think I like it." he put the mirror down finally with a small smile.

Beverly smiled too and turned to the ladies "And you? Do you approve?"

Juliana smiled and couldn't help to feel a certain amount of relief that her son decided against blue eyes "You are very handsome, son!" she told Data lovingly "A lot more than your father ever was!" she added and really meant it.

If Data possessed the ability to blush, he thought he would have done it now. He then looked at Emma, and a wave of anxiety washed over him. Would she like what she saw? He then felt the worry to be futile. Did it matter? They drifted so apart in just about twenty-four hours, maybe she wouldn't even care.

But Emma smiled shyly despite herself "I have to agree with your mom." she told him in a soft voice. Her gaze dropped from his eyes to his exquisite lips - they were even more desirable highlighted like that - and instantly her head was flooded with images of kissing him. She cleared her throat and self-consciously pushed her fingers through her hair "What about the rest of your body? You'll need to be re-colored underneath your clothes too!"

Data frowned puzzled and really uncomfortable "Why would that be necessary?"

"Think about it." she told him "What if your clothes got torn? How would you explain that some of your skin is pink, but the rest isn't? It'd be worse than just leaving your original skin color everywhere."

Beverly, Juliana and Data admitted that they had to agree on this. Beverly gave him the instrument, and he went into a neighbouring empty room to finish Beverly's work - totally embarrassed, while the ladies smiled after him.

After a minute, their combadges went off. It was time. They were to go to the transporter room. "Just go. I'll wait for him." Emma told Bev and Juliana, and they complied. When they left, Emma wandered to the door of the room Data was in, and after a moment of hesitation, she entered.

"Hey!" he called self-consciously looking to the door "It's you." he said in a calmer voice seeing his lover. "I'm almost done." he declared. He was dressed from the waistline down, but he seemed to have some trouble reaching certain parts of his back, so he had nothing on over his chest and back.

She smiled and stepped to him "Let me give you a hand with the rest." she asked in a commanding voice. They locked gazes and after a moment of hesitation, he gave her the instrument still embarrassed, and she stepped behind him. She did the job silently watching his beautiful golden skin turn into the more human-like pink color. As she moved the instrument over his skin, she instinctively reached up and put her other hand to his shoulder. He tensed up at the touch, feeling himself helplessly turning on even by the slightest contact of skin. She then slid her hand to his bladebone and then down over his spine. He shut his eyes and tried to make his breathing remain calm so as not to sell his thoughts that were racing unrestrainably back to their night together...

She slid her fingers further down to the small of his back brushing over the hollow of his off-switch with a feather-light touch. He sucked in a breath at the sensation, but did not move as she colored his skin there, her hand coming to rest on his thin waist. It became an unspoken game of trust between them in the last few weeks: when he held her close, she would sometimes brush her fingers to his skin over his turn-off switch asking for his implicit trust. He knew that she was giving him the same trust simply by letting her fragile human body held by a man with inhuman strength. This was their way to assure each other that neither of them would ever betray the trust of the other.

But this time, power was only in her hands and she smiled relieved. She knew that his letting her touch him there without a flinch meant that despite their differences, not everything was lost between the two of them. He still trusted her with his life - and so did she! In a moment, she was finished, so she turned the instrument off and put it on the table next to them. Then she wordlessly slid her arms around his waist and cuddled up to him from behind.

He opened his eyes and had to forcefully stop himself from whimpering at the feel of her body pressed so tightly to him, her breath on his bare skin, her palms hot where they touched his abdomen. And then he heard her speak in a silent tear-filled voice.

"Data..." she said his name on a revered whisper "I can't go on this mission, I can't face my husband without making things up with you. I can't go down to that damned planet knowing that you're still angry at me." she shook her head "I would never ask anybody for their forgiveness more than I'm asking you now..." - oh, how much she hated herself for giving up all her pride for only a word of forgiveness from this man! But she needed him now! Maybe more than ever before!

"Emma, there's nothing to forgive. I am not angry at you." he told her in a thin voice showing his own desperation. He shut his eyes tormented as he heard her sniffle and felt her hot tears run down his back. He sighed reaching for her hands, he twined his long fingers through hers "If only we had time to talk... because there are just too many things we need to talk about to reconcile our differences - almost impossibly too many things." he told her silently.

After a moment, she pulled her hands away and took a small step from him as he turned to her to look into her eyes. She stared into his eyes pleading "Then please just promise me that we're not giving up on us! That when we finally come back home, we'll do everything to make up."

A stray tear ran down her cheek, and she sniffled again embarrassed. He raised his hand to her cheek and slowly, gently wiped the tear away with his thumb. She locked her tear-filled gaze with his, and he spoke in a silent voice when he replied "That I can promise you wholeheartedly." He sighed as he felt that even with this tiny touch, that terrible sense of absence, he'd been experiencing ever since he last touched her, lessen even if only a little bit. She leaned into his touch and shut her eyes in that one moment of perfect bitter-sweet tenderness.

He then took his hand away, and she opened her eyes. She felt a sense of relief as they locked gazes, and Data had a tiny smile on his face - finally! She hated herself that a man's happiness could influence how she felt so profoundly, but she could do little about it now. She watched him dressing up, and they went to the transporter room in silence.


	18. Chapter 18

Emma didn't have a lot of time to get scared of the reality of the situation as they stepped onto the transporter pad with Data and the others, because ten seconds later, they were standing in the main hall of the residence of the premier. So. It was real. She was back home again.

Beverly looked at her cautiously as Edmond Jones and some other well-dressed men walked up to them. Emma watched her husband with a wary look, and Bev wondered how it might feel to meet somebody whom you used to love with passion and then came to hate with the same passion after years of separation. Bev then gazed back at the man. He was just the way she remembered him: he was tall with a commanding presence, telltaling of an overpowering ambition. His features were not particularly handsome, but his presence was rather attractive as it is: he had a prominent nose, the way Data did, but his face lacked the harmony and delicacy of the android, his features were rather craggy. He had short, dark hair and huge deep-brown eyes that reflected vigour - and Beverly had the same impression she had had when they'd last met: no women were safe while he was around, he was literally oozing masculinity.

"Welcome to Epsilon Four." he greeted them in his pleasant voice with a friendly smile, and the Admiral stepped up to him.

"Thank you, Premier Jones. I'm Admiral Seth McKinnley representing the United Federation of Planets and Starfleet."

Ed held out a hand for the Admiral "I'm really gratified to meet you in person, Sir, after all the messages we've exchanged."

"The pleasure is mine, Premier." he motioned to the team "Let me introduce my associates. This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard, the Captain of the flagship Enterprise."

Ed stepped to the Captain and shook hands with him "Oh, so you're from a French origin, Monsier. Just like my humble self."

"That's correct, Sir." Picard nodded but his features remained rather neutral.

The Premier went on in a charming voice holding the Captain's hand in his for a moment longer "I will be happy to introduce you to my selection of French wines, if you have an interest in such things."

The Captain nodded a little surprised "As a matter of fact, my own family has vineyards in its possession near Bordeaux."

Ed smiled with delight "Bordeaux? Where exactly if I may pry? I know the region quite well, I used to study in Bordeaux!"

"The vineyards are near La Barre, it's a small village, I don't suppose..."

Ed cut in excited "Oh, but I do know it! We went to a wine-tasting there one summer with my fellow students! It's an enchanting surroundings, Sir!" he then suddenly seemed embarrassed "Oh, I'm sorry for the distraction. It's just so rare to meet someone from my homeland. Especially someone, who's knowledgeable about wines! I'm really happy to meet a kindred spirit, Sir!"

Beverly watched the scene somewhat troubled. She remembered how charming Ed used to be to people who weren't familiar with him. In fact, it was difficult to keep out from under his influence even now! He WAS amazing in this regard for sure. But she did remember how he used to treat Emma when something was not of his liking, and knew very well that this all was only a veneer. She looked around to see the others' reaction: Emma rolled her eyes visibly annoyed, Data and Juliana watched them with a neutral expression, and the Admiral looked rather jealous. She couldn't help but smiled a little gloatingly at this - Jean-Luc managed to steal the Admiral's show without wanting to...

When Ed stepped over to her, the Admiral started to introduce her, but Ed stopped him mid-sentence "I believe we don't need to be introduced, right Beverly?" he asked with a soft, irresistible smile and took her hand gently in both of his "It's been quite a few years, but you are just as stunningly beautiful as you were back when I last saw you. Departing with the last ship from Epsilon."

Beverly gave him an ice-cold smile "Well, thank you, Edmond. I hear you haven't changed much during the course of years either." she taunted sarcastically.

Ed snorted, and his smile started to seem a little less sincere "So I regret to see my pretty little wife managed to convince you that I'm a monster. I suppose you won't be surprised, if I tell you that every coin has two sides. I'm hoping you're willing to hear about the other side as well, Beverly. You've always been nothing but fair with everybody."

Beverly felt cornered by this and glanced at Emma with an uncomfortable expression then looked back into Ed's eyes with a tight smile "Of course." she replied.

He stepped over to Juliana, and the Admiral introduced her too. Ed shook hands with her too "I'm very glad to have a geologist with us. There are a lot of minerals on our planet that might prove to be of interest for you. And the Federation as well in general. I'll be happy to show you our latest researches."

Juliana smiled politely "I'd be glad to look around on-site as well. That is, only if you don't mind. You see for a geologist, material in our hands says a lot more than research about it on a padd."

Ed seemed to be vaguely surprised by this, but then his smile returned, and he nodded: "It's possible, of course."

He went on to the last two members of the away team and made a great show of ignoring Emma, as if she wasn't even there. Beverly and the Captain noticed it too, and they exchanged glances knowing they both were thinking the same: if he treated his wife this way, this man's intentions were nothing but false no matter how charming he may have seemed.

Emma looked up at him, but Ed only looked into Data's eyes. After a moment of staring, he extended a hand for the android, and the Admiral went on with introducing him as well "This is Lieutenant Commander Data. He is the Operations officer of the Enterprise, and now he is the bodyguard of Ms. Jones. As per her request." he added in a low, despising voice.

"Lieutenant Commander Data..." Ed repeated, and his smile was gone as he squeezed Data's hand. "Is this your first or last name? How may I call you?"

"Data is just fine." the android answered on his usual silent tone and took his hand away from Ed's grasp a little too quickly. He couldn't help but glare at the man as his mind was flooded with images of Emma crying into him in their bed knowing that her overwhelming sense of inadequateness originated mostly in her failed marriage to this man. In how she was treated by this man... He heard her say the word 'sometimes...' in his head, and his hands came up into fists as the white fire of fury ran all over his neural pathways.

"What a peculiar name." Ed remarked coldly. His gaze seemed to be glued on the other man, and Emma had a really bad feeling about how the two of them stared at each other - like two stallions about to fight for a mare! No! Ed could never learn that they were a couple! She didn't dare to imagine his reaction or his revenge...

"The 24th century is a peculiar time, Edmond. You should try it yourself for a change." Emma told him on an off-hand tone to make him stop staring at Data. Ed seemed to be distracted for a moment, then he finally gazed down at her with his dark eyes, and a chill ran up her spine. He stepped to her and looked into her eyes - she felt she needed to take a step back from him, but she stood her ground.

"A bodyguard, ma chérie? You don't happen to be afraid in your own home, now do you?" he asked, and his lips curled up into a sweet, caring smile as he took her hand in his "I assure you, there's nothing to fear. I'm really happy that you could be convinced to return." he told her and then kissed her hand gently.

Emma glared at him frowning and pulled her hand away with disgust "Let's not shun from using the word 'blackmail', shall we? Instead of euphemising around it. Chérie."

Ed seemed to be genuinely shocked by this and uttered the word with a hint of disgust "Blackmailed." He took a few steps backwards to look at all of them at once and exchanged glances with the Admiral "There seems to be a misunderstanding then." he looked back at Emma with a convincingly innocent expression "I merely hoped that you would return home, if you saw that I want Epsilon to step on the road of change. The change you've been hoping for for so many a long years."

The Admiral spoke up to take out the edge of the situation turning to be rather strained "We are here to witness, moreover, to help you with that change, Premier." he offered.

Edmond nodded and seemed to be grateful for the helpfulness of the Admiral "There will be plenty of space for that help, Admiral, with what I'm about to do." he took a few more steps backward and spread his arms theatrically "I'll need you to help me turn Epsilon Four into a democratic state from the crude dictatorship I am forced to lead now. I'm not going to be shy about asking for your assistance with this enormous task. We need all the help we can get. The people of Epsilon are frightened now that they lost their strong leader. And frightened people can cause a lot of trouble. Even for themselves. I could use force to silence them. But then my original intention would be lost as well. I'd rather change their opinions. And soothe them at the same time."

Beverly exchanged glances with Emma. They both were stunned by what was said, while the others watched on curiously and expectantly.

"A noble cause, Premier." the Admiral replied "We are happy to assist."

Ed's gaze travelled from the old man to his wife who stood there now with an incredulous expression "Thank you. I'm hoping that every member of your team will be as pledged to this cause as you are, Sir."

The Admiral glanced at Emma with cold eyes "Lieutenant Jones knows very well how important this mission is."

Emma couldn't help herself and spread her arms "So you're sincerely want us to believe that you want democracy? After taking part in the dictatorship for a decade?" she asked and just couldn't believe her own ears - or the fact that there was anybody in the room taking Ed seriously.

"I do." Ed replied in a cold voice "I knew that you wouldn't believe me. But let me give you some proof of my intentions. In the last few weeks, I've suspended all death sentences on political prisoners and have forbidden the pursuit of anybody who voiced their dissatisfaction with the previous regime. Moreover, the government is currently working on giving general amnesty to all that have been sentenced only because of their political views." he stepped up to Emma and stared deep into her eyes - Data had to forcefully stop himself from pushing the man away from her. Ed went on in a low voice "This is why you are safe, ma chérie. As part of the Resistance, you would have been taken prisoner the moment you set foot on Epsilon Four. Instead you're here. Questioning the motifs of the Premier. What is this, if not democracy?" he asked searching her eyes with an honest gaze.

She was dumbfounded. She couldn't utter a word. She looked to the others, and they all stood there seemingly stunned even thrilled - she knew they believed him. Oh, god, they did believe every word!

Edmond went on gazing deeply into her eyes "I'm willing to take responsibility for all I've done. I'm willing to face the past. Are you?"

Emma stared into his dark eyes for a long moment, not able to turn her gaze away "Whatever else would I be here for?" she asked in a silent determined voice "But I know you too well. You may take them for a ride, but I don't believe a word."

Ed smiled forgivingly and glanced at the others for an instant giving Emma the impression that he wanted to make sure that everybody heard him well "Who would expect you to? You were hurt in our marriage, so you hold a grudge. Nobody blames you, Emma." he told her in a soft regretful voice "You have every right to be angry at me. I take that responsibility also, ma chérie." he told her looking at her with such a loving devotion that even Beverly's heart lurched, and she suddenly got scared: Ed's ability for manipulation seemed to know no boundaries!

Emma grew pale as understanding finally dawned on her: she was all alone with her belief that this was all wrong and false. This was his goal all along, to make her isolated from her own team. To make her doubts seem utterly groundless and herself ridiculous.

"So if all the doubts of Ms. Jones are fully dissolved," the Admiral stepped to them impatiently "could we start our negotiations?"

"Right away, Sir." Ed told him in a professional voice and then walked back to his associates to look at the delegation "My staff will show you to your accommodation. During the time you spend on Epsilon, I will need to ask you not to wear your uniforms but change into clothes appropriate to the colony's fashion. If you wish to go outside, it will help you blend in whereas your uniforms might cause some stir up."

"Ms. Jones have warned us about that, Premier." the Admiral told him trying hard to sound very cooperative "Of course, we are ready to comply."

"Thank you for being so understanding." Ed told them gratefully, and seeing his wife stare desperately at Beverly, he smiled satisfied.

* * *

After some argument with the staff about the rooms, Emma finally got a room that had a common door with the neighbouring one, which Data got. She changed clothes to a pair of casual jeans and top combination and collapsed in the comfortable armchair in front of the television. The autumn sun shone warmly in through the wide windows, the delightful yellow light broken only by the shadow of the falling leaves. She heard a soft knock on the door from the neighbouring room, and after a long sigh, she called "Come in."

But then apart from some budging of the handle, nothing happened, and after a moment, Data's reluctant voice came through "I'd gladly, however I seemed to have ran into a slight obstacle."

Emma chuckled and got up from the armchair. She pushed the handle upward, then turned the key and pushing the handle downward, opened the door. His head appeared in the crack, and he seemed to study the handle from her side as well. She couldn't help the delighted smile creeping on her features at the small scene. She looked into his eyes challengingly.

"All this intelligence crammed in one head, Commander, and a simple handle eludes you?" she teased him giggling.

Data cocked his head a little self-consciously "May I kindly remind you, that the key was on your side? Besides, I have seen similar locks in holodeck simulations, but not anything quite like this on a door INSIDE a building."

Emma's face grew grim, and she stepped away from the door, so he could come in "I've told you. The people on Epsilon are suspicious. They don't trust anybody, not even friends or family members." she told him while going back to sit down in the huge armchair with her legs pulled up under her.

Data stood opposite her "You know that we're supposed to report at the negotiations."

She rolled her eyes "Ah, to the hell with that, Deadpan." she tilted her head backward to rest it on the back of the huge armchair and shut her eyes. She seemed awfully tired, despite the fact that she didn't have to work that day. Data knew that the stress of meeting her husband wore her completely out.

He sat down on her bed to the side of the armchair and looked at her cautiously "Your husband..." she opened her eyes and gazed at him listlessly as he went on "seemed very friendly with most of the team. In a very sharp contrast to your description of him."

She raised her head and sighed impatiently "He DOES seem very friendly of course. While sharpening the knife to stab you in the back with."

"I believe he has managed to earn the trust of some of us by simply emitting a certain sense of trustworthiness. Without making a serious effort." he remarked his observations.

She frowned frustrated and felt her heart sink at this "You do believe every word, just like the others, don't you." she pushed herself up from the armchair and walked to the window to look out "It's easier to believe your eyes, then to believe me, who's been living with this man for years. He barely said two sentences, but he is so unbelievably manipulative, that he could make me look like an idiot with all my doubts and worries by the snap of his fingers - I knew this was coming..."

He watched her from the bed for a moment longer. She seemed so frustrated, so lost - the tension was palpable by her posture. He just couldn't let her suffer like that! Even if they never had a chance to reconcile, even if they were in the middle of a mission. He stood and walked over to where she was leaning to the glass of the window. The color of her hair seemed to catch fire in the sunlight, and he noticed that it wasn't simply brown as it seemed in the artificial lights of the Enterprise: it was red and light brown and deep brown - and gray at places. He raised his hand and gently swept her long strands behind her shoulder. She turned to him, and he slid his hand to her face to cup her cheek in his palm tenderly, leaning close to her face "I do believe my eyes." he told her in a voice barely above a whisper "And let them be green or yellow, rest assured, I can see very clearly with them. And even if I couldn't..." a small smile curved his lips upward "I do know you. And I do believe you." Emma looked into his eyes stunned, her breath caught by his intense gaze and his words, and the implicit trust they reflected. And as he told her on a whisper "Never doubt that, please." she was lost, completely lost...

Her gaze dropped to his slightly parted lips now highlighted by some faint red coloring, making them even more desirable, and as if he could read her mind, he bent to her and pushed his lips to hers tenderly. Her eyes closed instinctively as she put her hands on his chest and felt his arms wrapping around her waist as she took his lower lip between her own two lips... Oh, no! We must not! No! A needy moan escaped her as she broke away. Her hands came up to his face, and she put her thumbs on his moist lips to stop him from kissing her on "No, please, don't..." she breathed. Oh, god, help me! She gasped as she looked up at him through her lashes. His strong arms were holding her so firm, so solid, and his expression reflected the same need that was burning inside of her, that it was very difficult to fight herself like this. She slid her hands to his shoulders and bowed her head taking a deep breath to calm her senses going crazy even by this tender little peck.

He bowed his head too to snuggle his temple to hers "What's wrong, baby?" he asked on a whisper.

She had to take another moment to answer, and she snuggled up to his ear to speak on a whisper "I-I don't want him to learn that we're together."

Data felt the digital equivalent of a bucket of cold water in his neck at hearing this. He pulled away and looked at her wide-eyed, shocked "Why?" he asked in a voice well above a whisper.

She got herself together and took a step back from him. Her expression was hard and stubborn. "We're not gonna discuss any such matter in here. I've told you we're being listened to all the time."

It was a perfectly sensible argument, Data had to admit - if only his emotion-chip complied to that argument too! He watched as she stepped to the door and looked at him expectantly, and he felt a tight fist squeezing his chest from inside. However, yet again there was no time to clarify the situation. So he just went after her to go to the negotiations with his usual deadpan expression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Believe it or not, but the character of Ed was designed after a real politician in my country...


	19. Chapter 19

Emma and Data got back to their accommodation only in the evening. They left before the others, Emma not being able to bear to sit in one room with Ed any longer. The sun was slowly setting, the shade of the trees in the neat garden of the residence grew long, and the temperature dropped. They stepped up the porch, but as Data was about to open the entrance door, Emma lagged behind, and he turned back to her questioningly. She walked to one of the columns holding the roof of the porch and leant to it tiredly looking out over the garden.

Data stepped up to her and looked at her expectantly "I thought you'd like to rest."

Emma sighed "Isn't it beautiful, Deadpan?" she asked nodding toward the nature in the garden and the setting sun. He rested his gaze on her for a moment longer. Her features were deepened by the shades of the faint light, her hair was glowing yet again in a thousand colors, and her huge eyes reflected sorrow and fatigue. She stood there hugging herself as she spoke "I always loved this planet." she confessed in a thin voice "The nature, the lights... everything about it is so beautiful - it's a crime that my species ever set foot on it." she added in a low disdainful voice.

Data looked out on the garden "It bears a resemblance to certain places on Earth. Perhaps you feel nostalgic because of that." he turned back to her, and as a tremor ran through her, he realized she must have felt cold in her thin long-sleeved top. He unbuttoned his waist-long jacket and swiftly taking it off, he gently wrapped it around her shoulders.

She took in a deep breath "Oh, you're sweet..." she whispered gratefully, and as he adjusted the jacket around her, she instinctively snuggled into his touch. He slid his hands to her shoulders and inhaled the fragrance of her hair. He wanted to bend to her and kiss her on the temple and hold her close from behind, but based on her earlier reaction, he knew that she wouldn't approve of that - so he just let her go and went on staring at her while standing beside her.

She pulled the two sides of the jacket more tightly together and looked at him with the same devotion his eyes were reflecting. She contemplated the tantalizing situation for a moment. Even knowing that it would be immensely difficult to keep their hands off of each other, she wanted him to be there with her. Her excuse for it was that she needed protection. But in actuality, she had lived with the Resistance for two years and could protect herself quite well. What she really needed was his presence. Solid, trusting - loving. She wanted to hold on to those things and hoped that they would keep her sane.

Ed played with his hands laid out on the table for all to see. All their suspicions about him wanting to trade dilithium with the Federation as the real cause of him wanting them on the planet were not only confirmed but given them as an official offer. He wanted democracy, he wanted help from the Federation to achieve it, and he wanted to pay with the dilithium for it. It all seemed clear and transparent and honest. So much so that by the end of the day, Emma started to seriously believe that she was paranoid simply because she must have gone mad.

But she looked up into the eyes of her lover and knew that she didn't have to doubt herself. She was not alone.

Suddenly, Data turned his head toward the road leading up to the entrance, listening.

"What is it?" Emma asked concerned.

"The others are coming." he answered, and she smiled faintly - she was always amazed at his awesome android senses.

Before long, Beverly, Juliana and the Captain walked up to them.

"I thought you would already be eating." Beverly told Emma as she stepped up to them "I don't know how you're with it, but I'm starved."

They all smiled and nodded to this. Data noticed relieved that Emma seemed somewhat more relaxed, especially compared to how she felt in the afternoon. There was no doubt that they needed to talk not only about their personal matters but also about what to expect of this mission after the first day, but still he was relieved to see her a bit more calm. His gaze simply was forgotten on her as she chit-chatted with Beverly - his resources once again almost thoroughly claimed by thoughts and sensations about her - and he was startled by the voice of the Admiral inviting them to have dinner together. The old man seemed very satisfied by how the day turned out.

Data politely let everybody go inside and was about to go through the wide entrance door himself, when he heard a voice from behind him:

"Mr. Data, may I have a word with you."

He turned back and saw Edmond standing at the same column Emma had stood a few minutes before.

"Premier Jones." he walked back to the man "Excuse me, I have not noticed you. I didn't realize you came with the rest of our team." he told him in a polite but ice-cold voice.

Ed snorted and seemed to change his mind about his reply as he said "I escorted the Admiral. I was hoping to have a word with my wife, but I rather let her have her dinner first. She can become really upset if she's hungry." his lips curved up into a smile which seemed unsettling to Data as he went on "As you might have noticed perhaps."

Data stepped opposite him beside the railing of the porch and looked into his eyes. He understood that the other man wanted to gain information on his level of relationship with Emma. And though he didn't understand why Emma wanted to keep it a secret, he would never sell her out. He remained silent and let Ed go on.

"Tell me something, Mr. Data." Ed began and turned toward the garden, putting his hands on the railing. Darkness slowly descended on them, the last rays of the sun just disappeared behind the tall bushes of the garden. Ed went on "How did you end up in the bodyguard business? As I understand, you're a high-ranking Starfleet officer of the flagship." he turned his head to Data "And no offence meant, Sir, but you don't seem particularly strong either."

"Strength is by no means the only ability that a bodyguard needs to possess. I can assure you, I am fit for the task." Data answered as neutrally as he could think of.

"Did my wife ask you to escort her here?" Ed went on trying to get a grip on him.

Data shook his head "I was ordered by Captain Picard." It was actually true.

"Hmph..." Ed grimaced seemingly disappointed. He straightened, and looking deep into the other man's eyes, he stepped up to him - Data had the impression that Ed wanted to intimidate him by that intense look. Data just stared blankly into his eyes with as a deadpan expression as ever.

Ed then stepped around him and looked out into the darkness that once was the garden. Data turned to him and watched him waiting for the next question.

"And tell me, my friend," Ed started on a casual tone "have you fucked her yet?"

The question was thrown at him with such nonchalance that Data had to check his memory files, if he had heard it well - he did. He stood there gaping as his chest was squeezed by anger he rarely felt.

"The nature of my association with Lieutenant Jones is none of your concerns. And your words, Sir, are lacking the respect she deserves." he said in a low voice completely neutral of his feelings.

Ed laughed out loud and stepped to him with a delighted smile "Don't get so wound up, my friend. We're just talking. Besides I've seen you looking at her. And she at you. I know her for a very long time, you know..." he took a few steps again from Data and rested his hands on the railing once again "I don't blame you. She can be amazingly attractive..." he chuckled "AND attentive, if she wants to enchant a man. I bet she's showed off at least some of her skills to turn your head." he glanced at the other man for his reaction.

Data stepped to him at this "I believe I have mentioned that your words are disrespectful. If you wish to continue this conversation, I suggest you change the language you apply to Ms. Jones." this time there was a warning edge in his tone and Ed recognized it with satisfaction.

He straightened and looked at Data with a content smirk "Fine. I already got the answer to my question anyway." his features then turned really serious "Believe it or not, I'm merely trying to protect you. You seem to be such a decent guy. You have no idea what you get yourself into with Emma."

Data's heart sank - he did not expect any such answer "What do you mean?" he asked in a silent voice.

When Ed answered his voice and face were both dead-serious "Has she told you that she's a drug addict? And that she was treated in a mental institution?"

Data just couldn't hide the shock that appeared on his features, and Ed was patient, he waited for him to speak. Data stared into his eyes for a few moments then glanced away - it was impossible to wrap his mind around what he just heard! He looked back at Ed and gave him the most professional answer he could "Her records don't mention anything about an addiction, neither of a hospitalization."

"How would they, Mr. Data? Her records show only facts about the time, when other Starfleet officers were on the planet. For years, she was the only one... How long have you known her?" Ed asked seemingly curious.

Data could think of no rational reason for not telling him the truth: "I've known her for two months." he answered silently.

Ed nodded and went on with the same curiosity "She never showed any signs? Never got hysterical without a compellingly good enough reason? Never tried to fight you or anybody whom she felt would impose his authority over her even if it was completely unreasonable to do so? Never even got drunk?"

Data gazed away again not being able to hide his emotions, his distress over this man's words was written on his features. His simple questions described Emma precisely! And it was only a day ago when he needed to bring her home from Ten Forward. But that was only...

"It was only one or a few occasions. That's what you're thinking, right?" Ed finished his thoughts, and as Data gazed at him clearly hit by all of this, he nodded "Well, if you want to keep your 'association' up with her, you'll need to be prepared for such incidents, my friend." he shrugged taking a few steps away from him "Two months you say... You've been lucky, she does have some stable periods, you might have another few weeks of it. But then a problem comes up, something she has no idea how to resolve, and she would drift away, the way she always does... No sane man could blame her, you know... Her father beat the shit out of her and her brothers from a very young age. With a past like that, she constantly needs something or someone to lean on to, to keep her going." he looked back at Data who stood there petrified "I'm sorry if I've destroyed the image you had about her in your head. But after seeing how you look at her, I thought you'd better be aware... I just ask you to give me a call, if you can't handle her any longer. Though our marriage has been effectively over for years as it is, but... I'd still like to protect her."

Data finally got himself together enough to find at least one free processing thread to use for logical thinking, and he stepped up to Ed "You've given me nothing but allusions and implications, Sir. But apart from the fact that I've seen Ms. Jones drunk once, there's no proof to support what you've just told me."

Ed smiled kindly and put a hand on Data's shoulder "That's alright. You don't have to believe me. She'll give you proof herself, if you spend enough time with her." he squeezed his shoulder, then took his hand away.

Data's emotions finally took the better of him, and his hands came up into fists as he replied in a low tense voice "Even if she did, after a marriage she had to suffer through with someone as self-centered as you are, no wonder she expects everybody to hurt her or to exploit her."

Ed snorted but didn't seem to be insulted "Ah, yeah, me, the self-centered husband. She's told you that I was a monster with her, who never let her do whatever she pleased, right? The one thing she always forgets to mention is that she NEEDS those restraints, she needs boundaries. Because she herself has no idea where they lie." he smiled regretfully "You'll learn that yourself soon enough if you haven't yet..."

Data felt cornered by this. This man was a fine debater but not because he could use eloquent words or logical arguments in any particularly extraordinary fashion. He was challenging to argue with because he knew Emma... he had to admit better than he did. He'd never had to face any such conflict ever in his life before! The dispute was not based simply on logic or rationality. It was overwhelmed with strong emotions, implications, doubt and the manipulation of all of the above, and he was not sure if he was ready to handle anything like this! The gap between what his rationality dictated and what his emotions screamed at him to do had never been wider ever before in his life: rationally he knew he had to question Emma about all that Ed'd told him and draw conclusions based on both of their statements, but his emotions roared at him to simply break the neck of this liar and abuser and be done with it!

Even though Ed didn't completely understand Data's inner struggles, he could very well see the seeds of doubt he had planted in the other man's mind - and he smiled satisfied as he looked into his eyes. However, Data didn't have time to decide on how to handle the situation. The entrance door opened, and Emma stepped out with a smile on her face:

"Hey, Deadpan, aren't you coming..." she let the door swing shut behind her as she spotted her husband standing next to her lover "...in yet." she finished in a sigh. She turned her head to Data and tried to search his eyes. He held her gaze for a moment then somehow something made him bow his head. Emma understood right away, and all her desperation, all her frustration welled up in her with such force that she felt she could scream! No! She strode to them and grabbed Ed by the collar "You son of a bitch! What did you tell him?!" she demanded, and Ed tried to fend off her attack only half-heartedly.

Data grabbed her from behind and pulled her away from her husband: "Emma, stop it!"

Ed straightened his suit and cleared his throat with a slight smile as he gazed into Data's eyes then looked at Emma, who, though stopped struggling, was not let go by Data "Nothing, ma chérie. Nothing that your behaviour wouldn't betray in a short while, anyways." Emma looked up at Data now with tears of frustration in her eyes, and gasping for breath. Data only looked at Ed as he went on "I take you have a lot to discuss, so I'll be on my way. Good night!" he nodded politely to them and walked off into the darkness.

When Ed was off, Data finally let Emma go, who swirled around and looked at him exasperated and out of breath. Data gazed into her eyes for a moment then glanced away forlorn. She let her tears fall as she watched him standing there a few inches from her, and yet isolated by a wall of doubt. And in that moment, as her hands came up into fists in her frustration, an overwhelming sense of determination flooded her mind. This was the last crime you committed against me, Ed Jones! The last one! she swore to herself, and a strange tranquillity possessed her she never before felt.


	20. Chapter 20

_Emma finished the last touches on her make-up and turned her face around in the mirror to check the final result. She smiled satisfied and then stood to check herself in the tall mirror in the corner of the room. Oh, this dress was just fabulous! Just what she imagined she would wear on her big night! Her smile widened seeing her husband coming up behind her and hold her by the waist lovingly._

_He bent his head and kissed her bare shoulder - and it seemed his hunger was awakened by her taste, because he went on kissing a trail from the crook of her neck to her ear. She sighed and then chuckled as she felt her knees weaken by what he was doing "We're gonna be late..." she whispered, and he turned her around to kiss her fully on the lips._

_When he finally let her mouth go, she gazed into his dark eyes gasping: "You're ruining my make-up, Monsier Jones."_

_"You won't need any make-up for what I have in mind, chérie..." he replied and claimed her mouth again pulling her to him in a tight embrace._

_Emma broke away and took his face in her hands "We'll be late from my premiere!" It was her first big motion picture, in which she was the protagonist. It was a silly, little romantic comedy - but it was all she ever dreamed of since she was a little girl, and it WAS her break-through!_

_Ed sighed, and a weary expression appeared on his features "Ah, chérie, must we?" he asked, and as a look of genuine shock and disappointment appeared on her exquisite features by even the idea of missing her big night out, he shook his head seemingly taking it back at once "Ah, forget it, chérie. Of course we must, I'm sorry..." he told her and pulling away, he went to pick up his suit._

_When the shock wore off, Emma looked after him worried. She knew that he was having troubles in his work and that he was very tired. She'd been concerned about him for a while, but he always tried to seem so strong - and she was so proud that her husband was so solid like a rock, even if it made her worried for him at the same time. She walked up to him and as he put his suit on, she reached up to him and brought his lips down to hers for a short kiss. After a few moments, she broke away and smiled up at him "Your mood will lift, when you see my movie. It's so nice and funny! You'll enjoy it! And I want you to share my moment of glory with me so much!"_

_"I know chérie, I know." he told her tiredly and put his forehead to hers "But if you knew how tired I am of people, of crowds... How much I need to just spend a peaceful night with my beautiful wife without thinking about all the scheming of my opposition, about all the problems that... ah, forget it... This is your night, chérie. You worked for it so hard. Forget what your selfish husband says who wants you only for himself! Ignore what I said!" he pulled her close and kissed her on the neck wrapping his arms around her "I'm not important..." he whispered, and her heart lurched at seeing him so vulnerable, so frail yet so selfless. She wanted nothing but to hold him close and make his troubles go away. Nothing else mattered._

_She pulled away and took his face into her hands "Never say that! You're the only one that's important! Nothing and nobody else ever is!" she told him with tears in her eyes and kissed him on the lips passionately._

* * *

_It was a strangely climactic sensation for her to feel how pleasurable it all was for him, and she did feel a certain contentment as he rolled off of her and held her close from behind. But as she turned to her side, and her thighs brushed together, a tremor of frustration rippled through her still hungry body. She sighed shakily, gripping her pillow and shutting her eyes tightly._

_Ed cuddled up to her from behind tightly "Oh, you have no idea how much I needed this, chérie. You're so amazing." he told her and gave her a kiss on the shoulder. He then settled more comfortably behind her and slid his hand down her side to her groins and then between her legs. Another tremor ran through her, and she moaned quietly in pleasure as he brushed against her most sensitive areas - oh, maybe! Maybe he realized! Oh, please! she prayed helplessly, her hand instinctively clutched on his._

_And then she heard him smile "You're insatiable, aren't you?" Her only answer was a small whimper and some helpless writhing as he pulled his hand away "You know the saying, chérie: the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." he gave her body a gentle squeeze where his hand rested now on her stomach "Sleep now. Tomorrow you'll need to deal with the press blaring about why you missed your premiere." he told her and felt him give a kiss on her shoulder again._

_Her heart sank at the thought. "Bonne nuit, chérie!" she heard, and in a few minutes, remained all alone with her fears and frustrations in the darkness as Ed's gentle snoring filled the silence and she felt his arm becoming heavy over her body. She shut her eyes and buried her face in the pillow as tears ran to her eyes - oh, just stop it! You're the one to be blamed! Why do you need to be so miserable?! Why can't you let yourself go when the opportunity is there as he does himself?! She wiped her tears and stopped crying, but it took her a good few hours to fall asleep._

* * *

Emma sat on her bed in the darkened room swinging back and forth manically as her tears rolled down her cheeks. She bit her fingernails almost obsessively so, and finally, she noticed that she was trembling. She took her hand away from her mouth and pulled Data's jacket more tightly around herself. She buried her face into the garment and felt that its embrace was her only comfort as she heard their conversation play out in her head over and over again.

"What did he tell you?!"

"That you were a drug addict and were hospitalised in a mental institution... Is it true?"

"Would you believe me, if I told you one way or the other?!"

"Why don't you just answer? Why don't you just let me decide what I believe?"

"So then, yes! Yes, it's true! It's all true! Are you happy now?!"

"No! No, I'm not! ...Why didn't you tell me before? Why do I have to learn this from your husband? How am I supposed to trust you, if you don't give even a fragment of trust to me?"

"...So then maybe, you'd be better off not trusting me at all, Deadpan..."

No, she was wrong! She was talking before thinking again! She wanted him! She wanted him to trust her! To know her! To believe her! And he was right... He had the right to know all these things. And yes, it was the worst scenario ever, that he learned it from Ed. She swallowed hard and wiped her tears. Is it ever gonna be over? Am I ever gonna be free of this? Edmond Jones! You took everything from me! Everything! But I'll turn this around you ruthless monster! You'll regret ever to be born!

She stood up determined and went to the desk. She wrote a short note on a tiny piece of paper, and standing, she walked over to Data's room. She looked around considering where she should put it: in a place he would surely find it, but just as surely, nobody else would. As she turned around, the jacket started to slide down her shoulders, and catching it, she got an idea! She took it off and tucked the note inside one of his pockets. She just pulled her hand out, when the door opened, and Data stepped in.

They looked into each other's eyes for a long moment in the dim light. She then walked to him and pushed the jacket into his hands. He tried to search her eyes, but she turned her head away and walked back to her room. He watched what she was doing with a troubled frown. She picked up her long coat from the rack and put it on. He strode to her and stood beside her:

"What are you doing?" he asked in a low voice, but he could barely hide how upset and angry he was.

She swept her hair out from under the coat and pulled the two sides together to tie the knot on the belt. "What do you think, genius?" she taunted glaring at him, and stepped away from him to the door.

He leapt to her and put his hand on hers, where it was on the handle "Where're you going?" he asked barely believing that she was doing this!

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow "Out."

She could see that he was losing his patience, still he seemed to try to answer her as calmly as he could "Emma, I'm supposed to protect you. You can't go out alone."

She looked into his eyes challengingly "Just watch me, Deadpan!" she taunted and turned the handle under his hand.

"Em, stop!" he called after her as she simply slid through the crack of the door. He strode after her as she jogged through the hall, where the others were talking, sitting around in armchairs and a couch. She took the sight of them in only on the periphery of her mind, she concentrated only on her goal to get out of the building as fast as she could! "Emma!" she heard Data's voice again, and she bolted through the entrance. The others stood taken aback as Data ran through beside them, and she could hear the cracking voice of the Admiral calling after her "Lieutenant Jones!"

But she didn't stop. She ran over the dark garden - she hoped her memories of the now dark path would not betray her, because she knew she couldn't simply outrun Data, she needed the advantage of knowing the place. She then got out on the street. It was lit by lamps on tall posts, but it was almost completely deserted. After a few meters of jogging, she spotted just what she needed at the corner: a cab! She looked back and saw that Data was only a few meters behind her, now running - his jacket still in his hand.

She started to run as if the devil was five steps behind her. Data could see now that this was no joke on her part, she WAS about to run away all alone into the dark night, whoever knew where! He ran as fast as he could and caught up with her at the corner "Emma, stop!" he called again, and reached for her just the moment, she jumped into the cab. She slid out of his grasp into the car and shut the door in one motion. He could hear her commanding the driver to make a move. "Em, open up!" he called and was about to reach for the handle to rip the door off of the goddamn vehicle, when it started with its tires spinning. "Em!" he shouted and started to run after the car with all his might.

Emma looked out of the rear window - he was amazingly fast, he almost caught up with them. "Step on it!" she commanded.

"As you wish, doll." the driver growled and as the car sped up, she could see Data's figure shrink and then disappear in the darkness. She rested her forehead on her fists with a sigh and tried to calm her breathing.

Data ran until he lost sight of the car for good. He then stopped and looked out into the empty street fenced by the tall lights at the sides. His hands came up into fists - only then did he notice that he was still clutching his jacket. "Shit!" he yelled after a moment, and in his frustration, threw the jacket as far as he could out on the road. What was he supposed to do now? Where was she going? To her husband? Who knows what she had in mind, maybe she would simply try to strangle the man! He took a deep breath to try to calm his neural pathways going crazy under his frustration. "Use that fancy positronic brain of yours... and carry out your mission." he scolded himself by repeating the words of Commander Riker given him during his mission to Tau Sigma Five.

He walked up to his jacket and crouched to pick it up, when he spotted a bright light at the corner of his eye. He turned his head just to see that a car appeared from around the corner, and he had to jump to the sidewalk to avoid being hit by it - his jacket was not so lucky.

He stood up and gazed after the car frowning. The street was otherwise empty. It was not mere coincidence that THAT car was racing after the cab Emma was in. Just as she'd told them: as soon as they leave their lodgings, they would be followed. Suddenly, he got a thousand more reasons to find her! He started back to the residence, but after a few paces, realized that he'd left his jacket on the road. Ah, sometimes it was really annoying even to himself that he was such a 'neat-freak' as Emma called him, but he just couldn't leave it there on the street - he'd throw it away in the nearest bin once he got back, it was so torn and dirty anyways. He ran back for it, and picking it up, he rushed back for the others.


	21. Chapter 21

After dinner, the Captain, Beverly and Juliana sat down in the entrance lounge of the residence to socialize and relax after the long day. The Captain sat in the enormous armchair which almost devoured his petite form, while the two ladies sat next to one another, on the couch to his side. Beverly propped her chin up on her fist, her elbow resting on the armrest of the couch and looked at Picard curiously.

"So, Jean-Luc?"

Picard raised his eyebrows "So, Beverly?"

"What are your impressions?" she asked pushing him with a small intrigued smile.

The Captain sighed thoughtfully musing "Well, the accommodation is first-class, especially compared to the standards of the 21st century, the food is superb, the wine is exceptional, the negotiations couldn't go any smoother and the Premier is more than cooperative." he counted down all the impressions they were given in the last seven hours, during their time on the planet.

Beverly frowned and straightened her back "Is that it?" she asked, and her disappointment was palpable.

"Yes." he nodded raising his eyebrows seeming surprised by her question. Then after gazing into her incredulous eyes for a moment longer, he leaned forward, taking something out of his pocket. Propping his elbows on his knees, he fumbled with the small object, which Beverly came to recognize as being his combadge. She squinted and tilted her head curiously as he tipped a tiny switch at its side, and then put the badge down on the table in front of them.

He steepled his fingers rather smugly and smiled raising an eyebrow "I just thought we could use some privacy before discussing this topic." he motioned to the combadge "A personal favour from Commander La Forge. I asked him to dig himself into all the 21st century methods of surveillance to come up with something to counteract them... in a discrete way, of course. This is what I got from him just before we left the Enterprise. The small addition to the combadge emits a signal that interferes with all frequencies that any 21st century bug could use for eavesdropping." he shrugged almost unnoticeably "Of course, the explanation about its operating principles was a lot more thorough, but I wouldn't be able to recite more of it, even if I were to die." he chuckled.

"Brilliant!" Beverly smiled with sparkling eyes "Why don't we all have such badges?" she asked puzzled.

"I tried to suggest something like this to the Admiral, however it seemed he was a lot less fond of the idea than you are, Beverly. Though I'm not entirely certain why." he added, and his previous smile was replaced by a troubled frown.

"Quite strange, I'd say..." Bev winced not really wanting to think about what the Admiral's reasons could be for such a decision - because all that popped in mind was not appealing at all...

Picard turned his palms up for a moment "To answer your question, I've never been more convinced that something is out of place than during the course of this meeting we just had."

Beverly gazed at him in mock-relief, she leaned forward too "You got me worried there for a second, a moment ago, Jean-Luc."

He shook his head and looked at the ladies with a serious expression "It's all too well set-up. All through the five hours of the negotiations, I couldn't shake off the feeling that we're here only to provide a settings for a play already written and well-rehearsed."

"Me too." Beverly nodded, and Juliana nodded her wordless assent too.

The Captain went on "Premier Jones' manners are so unblemished in such a stressful situation as changing a regime that I really admire his nerves. In the dawn of a new era, wouldn't you feel a little nervous, Beverly?"

"I certainly would, Jean-Luc." Bev smiled conspiringly.

"But then where's the catch in all this?" Juliana spoke up finally as puzzled as the others.

Picard shook his head "I don't know, but I suspect, Doctor Tainer, that once we get our answer, we won't like it one bit."

Beverly grimaced musing on "It's just too big a sacrifice to give up all the power he has. And it's all for what? For the benefit of the people? It seems that WE have all the aces in the stack: he wants OUR help, and WE get the dilithium. In a democratic system, he might even lose the elections. It seems, he gains nothing on this."

Picard nodded with a hint of excitement "And this is exactly why he seems so honest! There's no pay-off. At least none that the naked eye can see. However... if I think back to my conversation with Lieutenant Jones about this man..." he looked at Beverly who seemed now really troubled "She described all the dealings with her husband as a game of blind chess. If we can believe her," he held up a hand before Beverly could protest "and I want to believe that it is so, we might be missing something."

They looked at each other uneasily and let these thoughts sink into their minds as they leaned back in their comfortable seats.

After a good few minutes, Juliana spoke up again in her silent, calm voice. "There's but one thing Premier Jones might gain on this." The others listened to her intently as she went on "If it's true that they don't use technology beyond the 21st century, they are sitting on a treasure chest they cannot unlock."

"Explain, Doctor. Please." Picard asked in tense attention.

She adjusted her position on the couch to be able to look at them more comfortably "Data has discovered that they've traded dilithium earlier, along with a myriad of different ores and minerals. However, when we examined his results again paying attention only to the exchange of dilithium, and ignoring all the rest, it became very clear that they stopped trading it a few months ago."

Beverly and Picard exchanged glances "Why would you stop trading the biggest treasure of the alpha-quadrant?" Bev asked the obvious.

Juliana went on "You might have run out of it altogether - well, we cannot verify this because of the kelbonite covering most of the planet, shielding everything underneath from the scanners. However, since the Premier promised the Federation huge deposits of dilithium, it's hardly an option. I'm also almost completely sure this is not the case. Because of scientific reasons."

"Please elaborate, Doctor." Picard asked intrigued and Juliana went on.

"Dilithium normally can be found in large deposits deep within a planet's crust, around ten-thousand meters. This is also the reason why it can cause tectonic stress. In rare occasions, however, it is found nearer to the surface, between five hundred and two thousand meters. But these deposits are scarce and small. If we believe the premise that the Epsilon Four colony uses only technology of the 21st century, those smaller deposits are the only ones available for them to mine. If they still have dilithium to offer to the Federation, even though they stopped trading it themselves, I'd rather suspect that they've run out of dilithium available for mining with their technology. And they need some help from the 'future' to get to the rest!"

Picard and Beverly watched her stunned. Then the Captain nodded faintly as he remembered "I vaguely remember, you already mentioned something like this on the first briefing, Doctor Tainer."

Juliana smiled forgivingly "I don't blame you, if my previous explanation didn't leave a memorable impression in your mind, Captain. That briefing was quite eventful."

"That might be an understatement." he agreed returning her friendly smile.

Beverly held up her finger in explanation as she put together the pieces of the jigsaw that they had so far "So Jones wants the technology to mine the dilithium, and tries to turn the regime around, so that the technology required would not be banned. So he could do the mining legally too."

Picard nodded "Makes more sense to me than the eloquent words 'for the benefit of the people'."

Bev snorted "Knowing Ed, I'd definitely agree."

The Captain looked at her suddenly curious as he realized they'd never talked about this before "How do you know him, Beverly? Through Lieutenant Jones?"

Beverly shook her head "Not exactly. By the time he became Emma's husband, I've already known him for quite a while. Suffice it to say, I was never really happy leaving Emma here with him. I..." she trailed off as she saw the Admiral approaching, and as the Captain noticed him as well, he quickly hid his combadge in his pocket once again.

"Admiral." he raised his head catching his gaze.

"Picard. Ladies." the old man nodded to them politely "May I join you?"

"Please!" the Captain motioned to the armchair opposite the couch and the Admiral sat down. He seemed tired but quite satisfied.

"Well, I suppose we can venture to say that we are on the very best way to have a successful mission. Don't you think?"

Beverly and Picard exchanged glances, but then the Captain nodded to the Admiral "The negotiations certainly go exceptionally smoothly. As a matter of fact, we were discussing our impressions. I'd be really interested in your insight, Sir."

"All our previous concerns seem to be groundless. The Federation will gain a great ally and a reliable source of dilithium! At the times we're living, it is worth all the effort! If only all of our team could understand that!" he added grimacing, and all three of them understood at once whom he meant.

"Surely, we all do, Admiral. Otherwise we wouldn't be here." Picard answered him patiently.

"Yes, but being here and being cooperative for the sake of the mission are two separate things. It's a wonder the Premier doesn't hold a grudge over Lieutenant Jones' extremely rude behaviour."

"If I may remind you, Admiral," Beverly smiled at him coldly "Emma never wanted to come. If Premier Jones required her to be here, he should be able to put up with her 'extremely rude behaviour' as well."

The old man shrugged frowning "I'm not talking about the Premier's point of view here, Doctor Crusher. I'm talking about Lieutenant Jones. Even if she has marital problems with her husband, she's still a Starfleet officer, whose objective is to focus on the mission and not on personal issues. I hope she'll cause us no trouble." he grimaced again.

Beverly was about to reply, when all of a sudden Emma ran through the hall without even a glance at them, and they heard Data shouting after her to stop. They all stood alarmed, and the Admiral also made a futile effort to stop her by calling her name, but she was already outside the building - Data rushing after her.

They looked at each other worried and perplexed, and the Admiral's frown deepened "It seems I've jinxed it!"

* * *

Emma sat in the cab still burying her face in her hands. She was stupid. It'd have been enough to give Data that note - but at least it was quite authentic how he ran after her. If he had seen the note before, it'd have taken some more explanation for him to play along for her façade. And the one thing they couldn't do was talking in that goddamn bugged room.

"That guy is pretty hell-bent, doll!" the driver remarked after a minute with some munching on his chewing gum.

Emma raised her head confused snapping out of her reverie "Wha?"

"A car's followin' us." he nodded toward the mirror, where the lights of the car behind them shone blindingly bright.

She turned back again and saw the car that'd almost hit Data "Step on it, cabby!" she told him in a low voice full of tension.

"Are you owing him, doll? Or wha?" the driver asked with a lopsided grin.

"A lot..." Emma breathed watching the car getting closer "But that's not him."

The young guy chuckled as the cab accelerated, and the other car seemed to lag behind "Other thugs to collect their dough? You sure as hell seem popular, doll. Hey, will you have the money for the ride at all? I accept payment in nature, if you're in trouble, darling!"

Emma turned back and squinted annoyed "You'd have to haul my ass around in the city for the rest of your life to get even, so don't even dream of it, pally." she smirked.

The guy turned one of his palms up taking his hand off the wheel for a second "Hey, just trying to be nice here! You seem to need all the help you can get." She glanced back and saw that the car was gaining on them again. The driver then spoke in a tensed voice after another few seconds "I don't wanna shatter your illusions, doll, but this old girl's not gonna be enough to outrun them." he said referring to his cab and then shrugged with a frown "Besides, I don't wanna get into any dirty business, not even for the gratitude of someone like you, honey!"

Emma looked out to check the buildings around them to get her bearings. They were still quite far from where she was going to go. And she knew there would be no point in trying to lose them with this car. She looked at him with a smirk snorting "You're one hell of a smooth-talker. Chicken!" She nodded toward the tram-tracks running next to the road; a long tram passed on it quite slowly not far ahead of them "Just take over the tram. Maybe that will not be such a big challenge, now will it?"

"They'll surely catch you in THAT, doll! But you know what you're doing..." the driver told him raising his eye-brows.

"Say a silent prayer for my precious little ass before bed, will you sweetheart?" Emma taunted as they overtook the tram, which was about to roll into its stop. The cab slowed down, and Emma hastily pushed some money into his hand "Keep the change!" and she was out, running to catch the tram almost before the cab stopped completely.

The tram was about to start, when Emma jumped up the stairs and pushed herself through the closing doors. She steadied herself by grabbing a handle as the tram started with a jerk, and she looked out of the window into the darkness. The car following her slowed to the pace of the tram, and kept on steadily going after her. She took a long, deep breath, and turning, she took a few wobbly steps in the gently rocking vehicle to find a seat for herself.

The tram was quite deserted - just as the streets. There were only a few passengers, most of them seemed dirty enough to be homeless people. She collapsed into a lone seat at the middle of the car and gazed out of the window. Her reflection was tired, and she sighed. Just find that note Deadpan, she kept on repeating in her mind as she watched the city run by next to her.

The tram line passed close to the biggest river of Ethel city. A small smile crawled instinctively on her features as she watched the beautiful bridges over the water lit by a myriad of lights passing by one after the other as the tram bumped along its spectacular line. She tried to hate herself for it, but being here again, seeing the city that was her home for ten years, in this timeless, unique moment, she felt more homesick she ever before had on the Enterprise.

It was not true that Epsilon Four took everything from her. It gave her a lot too. It gave her an opportunity to be herself more than ever before or after. She found her true calling. And those years were the happiest of her life. And the most free! She sighed - You're fooling yourself! While you were free and careless, people were fighting for their freedom, and YOU helped in breaking them! YOU helped the propaganda with your silly, little films and stupid scandals taking all the attention from the real important things! And you stood by and watched as an entire colony of people got fanaticized into such utter listlessness, mindlessness and blindness that the regime could easily convince them that being oppressed is just the best thing that could ever happen to them! You collaborated just as Ed did. You with your silence...

' _Among the guilty, an accomplice who is mute!_ ' she repeated the one quote that always drummed on in her mind ever since she realized what exactly had happened to the colony she once called her home. And now she was back home again. She let out a long breath. She felt she had no choice now, but to follow the one path she saw so clearly paved out in front of her as if it was a tram-track next to the river bank lit by tall lights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quote is from Babits Mihály, a Hungarian poet, from the poem "Book of Jonah". He wrote it in 1938. The translation of the line is mine.


	22. Chapter 22

Data entered the building of the residence with such momentum that the entrance door almost swung out of its hinges. He stopped short when the others surrounded him.

"What happened, Commander?" the Admiral asked him seemingly irritated.

He let out an exasperated breath "I wish I knew, Admiral. She left. I could not stop her, she got into an automobil. A taxicab. It is a type of vehicle used for transportation of passengers..."

"I know what a taxicab is!" the Admiral cut in shouting "Why did she leave?! Where was she going?!"

Data shook his head and looked at Beverly as if he was asking for help "She never told me where she was going. As to why she left..." he bowed his head ashamed "We had... a quarrel... of a personal nature." he confessed finally.

The Admiral's eyes blazed hearing this "Personal nature? PERSONAL nature?!" he asked apparently getting more and more infuriated with ever word he uttered "Has everybody forgotten that they're Starfleet officers here?!" he blew up seemingly losing all of his self-restraints, and stepping close to Data, he started shouting into his frightened face "You're here on a mission Commander! Have you forgotten it?! You're here on this mission only because of MY leniency, and you're abusing that by committing the exact same mistake you were court martialed for in the first place!"

"Admiral, please..." the Captain tried to interrupt his tirade, but it seemed it just fueled his anger.

"Silence!" the old man ordered him, and every one of them stood there taken aback and quite intimidated by the small, frail man as he went on shouting with Data "On a mission, there's NO personal quarrel, NO personal feelings, NO preferences, NOTHING! Only your duty! If you're not able to wrap that positronic mind of yours around that, I won't give a damn about what Ms. Jones will say to it, I'll relieve you of duty and send you back to the Enterprise, right into the brig for insubordination! Did I make myself clear, Lieutenant Commander?!"

"Crystal clear, Sir." Data replied in a very small voice. And to the complete shock of everybody, bowing his head, he wiped unshed tears from his eyes.

Beverly swallowed hard seeing that: it was difficult enough to endure being shouted at as a grown-up, but he WAS pretty much a child in a lot of respect still - and she was sure he'd never been shouted at by a figure of authority ever in his life before, but surely not ever since he'd had emotions. It must have been a devastating experience. Especially, in front of everybody - even his mother. She looked over at Juliana who stood there shaken, but just as helpless as they all were.

The Admiral went on glaring at him hostilely "Don't think that tears will break my heart! You're no schoolboy..."

That was the moment when Picard gently pushed Data back by the arm and stood opposite the Admiral "That will be quite enough, Admiral!" he told him in a low, hard voice locking his gaze with the old man's.

"Picard! What do you think you're-" the Admiral started, but the Captain cut him off.

"Mr. Data here understood your point, Sir. Moreover, his hearing is better than any of ours, therefore, shouting is not only unnecessary but also contra-productive. Mr. Data is under my command, just as every member of the Enterprise crew. Therefore the responsibility over his actions is mine, and mine alone." he was not too happy to confront his superior in front of their subordinates, but it seemed he had no choice. He couldn't let this continue, he just couldn't.

The ice-cold eyes of the Admiral blazed with fury, but before he could blow up again, they all heard Data's silent voice.

"It is alright, Captain! The Admiral is right." everybody gazed at him stunned and confused "I made a mistake. I am sorry about it. However, I would like to remedy the situation. Thank you, Captain Picard for standing up on my behalf, however I am also willing to take full responsibility for whatever happened tonight as well as any future consequences Lieutenant Jones' running away may have."

They all gazed at him speechless. The Admiral suddenly seemed to become very embarrassed, which he tried to hide by setting his chin high and gazing straight into Data's eyes "Let us not discuss the matter of responsibility, now, shall we? There will be plenty of time for that once we found her." he gave a hard look to the Captain to make him understand he was in for trouble...

Picard ignored him and looked at Data "Data, do you have any idea where she might have gone? Did she mention any place she'd go to, if she needed accommodation? A friend perhaps whom she could visit?"

Data shook his head with a heavy heart "I do not believe she'd be going to any such place."

"Why is that, Data?" Beverly asked speaking in a lot more silent voice than she intended.

"Before she ran away, I talked to her husband. He spoke of her past on Epsilon Four. A past she'd been reluctant to share with me. Once she realized what we'd been talking about, she got very upset with her spouse... I believe she would be going now to HIM. To settle their differences." he explained trying to sound as professional as he could, but his voice was silent and had a heart-breakingly rueful edge to it.

The Admiral growled in annoyance "To settle their differences! Knowing her, she'd rather just make matters worse!"

"Admiral." Picard spoke up "Since you know the Premier the most, and your relation to him is the most informal, it might be wise, if YOU could talk to him. If Ms. Jones didn't go there, her husband might take the news of her going missing easier from somebody he knows than from any of us."

The old man grimaced irritated "I was just about to suggest that I'd contact him." he told them with a patronizing look "Make yourself useful until I'm done, and figure something out, Picard!" he spat and then left them alone. The Captain let out a long breath looking after him.

"I'll check around in her room." Beverly offered "Maybe I could find something useful that would give us a clue."

"Good idea, Beverly." Picard complemented turning his head to her.

"I'll help you, Doctor." Data offered, and going through the corridors, he voiced another idea he had "We might also try to have the Enterprise locate her combadge. She might have it with her. Though the chances for that are low."

"Right!" Beverly nodded as they stepped into Emma's dark room. They stood there a moment longer before it dawned on them that the lights would not come up automatically. Data turned to the wall beside the door and turned on the lights. Beverly had to blink for a few seconds before her eyes became used to the bright light. By that time, Data was already pulling out one of Emma's drawers and checked around in it - he threw his jacket carelessly on her bed.

Beverly fetched her combadge as Picard and Juliana appeared in the doorway - not having anything better to do, they wanted to help.

Juliana walked over to the bed and took Data's jacket into her hands gently. She frowned as she now noticed how dirty it was, even more so when she saw that it was also torn at places. She looked over at him and noticed that his face was dirty too, just as his other clothes. She stepped over to him and put a concerned hand on his arm, where he was looking through Emma's stuff. He looked at her surprised by the touch - almost alarmed - and with a hint of irritation over the distraction.

"Yes, Mother."

"What happened to you? Your clothes are all dirty, and you too..." she reached out with a gentle hand and tried to wipe the dirt from his face.

"Don't be concerned, Mother." he told him taking her hand from his face "An automobil attempted to run me over, however..."

"What?" Juliana gaped and paled at what she heard "Are you alright?"

"What?" Picard asked catching his last sentence, and stepped to him to fully listen to him.

Data looked at now both of them a little annoyed "...however, the only thing that got actually hit was my unfortunate jacket." he finished his sentence then squeezed his mother's hand in his "Please, don't worry, Mother." he told her with a tense smile, and letting her go, went back to the task of checking around in Emma's things.

Juliana watched him for a moment longer concerned then held up the jacket and looked at it to see how much it was damaged.

"I'll throw it away later and have another replicated, when I return to the Enterprise." she heard Data's nonchalant voice.

"I could repair it for you." she offered him in a silent, caring voice.

He shrugged "Unnecessary. The replicator is capable of making another one exactly like this, therefore it'd not worth your time." he waved her away without even looking at her.

Beverly just saw the disappointed and hurt expression that clouded the elder lady's features, and it occurred to her that she might have to talk to Data about his mother - at another time.

"Crusher to Enterprise." she called pressing her combadge.

"This is the Enterprise, we read you, Doctor." they heard Deanna's voice coming through the comlink. She took up the night-watch since Data was not available. She then added on a friendly tone "Go ahead, Beverly."

"Deanna. Hi! Could you please locate the combadge of Lieutenant Jones?"

"We certainly could, but, is there something the matter?" Deanna asked concerned.

"Well, we don't know yet..." Beverly started, but they suddenly heard Data's voice coming from the corner of the room, where he stood by an open drawer.

"Forget it, Doctor. It's not important anymore." he told them on a low voice that now had a hint of exasperation. They looked at him and saw him holding Emma's combadge in his hand. They all looked at each other crestfallen.

"Do you still read me, Beverly?" they heard Deanna's voice after a few long moments.

Beverly sighed and tried to overcome the sudden, all-consuming worry that she felt "Yes, Deanna. Please ignore my earlier request. It seems we need to find her without your help."

After a pause they heard Deanna again. This time, her voice seemed troubled "If there's anything we can do..."

"Yes, thank you, Deanna, but right now there's nothing you could do. Crusher out." she closed the comlink and looked at Data "You didn't find anything useful?"

He shook his head "She barely brought anything. A few clothes, that's all. No padd, no books, nothing... not that she has a lot of things at home to begin with." he told them silently.

The door opened, and the Admiral came through "I just talked to Premier Jones. He hasn't heard of his wife since he left here. He sounded pretty concerned."

Data raised his head sharply at this, and his features became hard as if they were carved in stone. That man was the cause of all of this! Emma would never have run away, if she wasn't as upset as she was, but ever since she became aware of the destination of this mission, she'd been upset virtually all the time! And based on the cold, clinical, cynical way Jones told him about her past... he started to grasp the basis of her being upset quite well. He was just about to voice his doubts, but the Admiral went on.

"I go now over to the Premier to try to appease his worry. And you, Picard, better figure something out, while I'm gone, because if this mission fails on a hot-headed, good-for-nothing Lieutenant, who has already been under YOUR command for two months, I'll have your head before Starfleet Command!" he rasped then turned to the door.

That was the last drop on Data's already strained, nearly overloaded neural net! His hands came up into fists, and he took a step towards the Admiral - not even fully knowing what he wanted to do to him once he'd get to him, but he knew he could be fairly innovative, if it was required of him! However, Picard stopped him with a firm hand on his arm and a hard gaze.

The Admiral fortunately didn't notice anything of the scene, just simply walked out the door and was gone in a moment.

Picard looked at his friend with an enviably calm expression "Mr. Data, I'd normally suggest anyone having troubles with anger-management to take a cold shower, however in your case I believe it'd be quite pointless. So will you just please sit down and take a few deep breaths."

Data glanced at him with a disenchanted expression then collapsed onto the bed slouching "I apologize, Captain." he breathed.

Picard shook his head firmly "Hmmm... Whatever you were about to do, we all had similar thoughts on our minds, I believe. But there's no point in making an already bad situation worse."

Beverly looked at the Captain with a small, proud smile then smothered the expression and glancing from him to Juliana - who stood there still clinging to her son's jacket as if she was holding her own son close - her gaze finally rested on Data. Her heart lurched at how lost he seemed. She had to do something for him.

She stepped to him and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. He looked at her just as surprised as he did when Juliana touched him, but this time, he had no irritation in his eyes. Juliana noticed it too, and her heart sank even lower than it already had.

Beverly smiled at him "Data. You know as well as I do, that Emma is the one person who knows this city, this colony, better than any of us. She's lived here for a very long time. I'm sure she's alright."

Data let out a deep breath and nodded "I want to believe the same thing, Doctor Crusher." he then gazed at her with desperation clearly written all over his face "However, I should've told you earlier, that a car was following hers. The one that almost ran me over. I do not presume those people had no malicious intent... But even if they didn't. She is out there somewhere, alone, in the dark, in the cold, believing that none of us trust her, that we all confide in her husband instead... and that I'm angry at her too..."

They all looked at each other not even trying to hide their worried expressions.

* * *

The tram took Emma to a part of the city that was commonly known as 'Chicago'. Most people living here didn't have a regular income from a legal source, while you could find all the stuff that you ever wanted, let that be legal or illegal, and nobody even batted an eyelash as long as you could pay for it. There were several huge factories, plants and other types of industrial lots, both used and unused, making it fairly easy to hide from the authorities - if that was your goal.

She took off at a tall, monster of a building that had been used as a production hall of a factory long gone out of use, before it was turned into a club. Emma looked up at the enormous building made of brown brick turned black at places from the toxic fumes of the industrial surroundings, and she felt a sense of trepidation, as if her heart was squeezed by a fist. She always hated this place. Hated the people inside, especially the men. Hated their looks on all and any women. But she had no choice now, she turned her head toward the dark alley, where the car that had been following her ever since, parked, then took the few paces to the entrance of the building and giving it a hard push, she entered.

Inside the air was stale with smoke and alcohol and many other things she didn't dare to recognize. Some music was blaring so deafeningly loud that her eardrums felt like giving in to the assault as the rhythm was ramming against them. As she looked around, she was not entirely sure whether the semi-darkness inside was caused by the purposefully bad illumination or the smoke that was so thick, she thought she could cut through it only with a sharp knife.

She pushed through the crowd of dancing people to get to the bar. She sat on a bar-stool and glanced behind, above her shoulder for an instant.

They were there. Two burly thugs in suits - pretty much out of place in Chicago-town. They got so close that from the corner of her eye, she could see that they pushed a wildly smooching couple out of their booth, so they could sit in their place to have as clear a view of her as they could. Ed, your freaking thugs are dumber than ever, she thought and had a very hard time paying attention not to glance toward them by accident, to lull them into the illusion that they were unnoticed.

"Em? I can't believe it, it's you! It's really you!" she heard from her left, and as she turned, she saw the bartender gaping at her. He was a middle-aged, balding guy with a really stupid moustache she could never understand - and a bowtie, which she could understand even less! He looked pretty much like a referee of a box-match, which she'd always found rather ridiculous.

She gave him a small smile "Lou."

He went on gaping at her "How long was it since I last saw you?"

"Too long. But I'm here now." she raised her eyebrows in mock-hurt "You don't even invite me, hon?"

He chuckled and shook his head "Haven't changed one bit!" but then raised a bottle and put a glass in front of her "For old time's sake!"

Just as he was about to pour the liquid into her glass, she put her hand above it, and he stopped in the motion just before the beverage could spill on her skin. He looked at her questioning, and she smirked "I'd prefer something stronger. A lot stronger, hon."

The smile disappeared from his features as he put down the bottle and propped his elbows on the counter "I figured that since you stopped coming here so suddenly, you either quit... or you're dead..."

She took her hand away from above the glass "I'm neither." she fumbled in her pocket and pulled out some banknotes "You don't need to invite me." she put the notes on the counter and pushed to him leaving her hand on the money. He grimaced apparently not really fond of the idea to serve her after all these years, but he did straighten to reach below the counter. When his fist came up above it again, Emma took his hand and gave it a hard squeeze as she leaned to him to talk into his ear "I also need a favour, hon." she told him, and though he looked confused, he finally nodded, and leaning to him again, she explained what she needed.

She then gave his hand a gentle squeeze, and finally took the small sachet full of a white, crystalline powder from him. "Thanks, hon." she hopped off the stool "Just take care o' yo'self!" she heard him from behind, but she didn't give him a backward glance, just pushed through the crowd to the ladies room as quickly as she could.

Before long, three burly bouncers approached the two burly thugs that'd been Emma's tail, and a smaller fight broke out. When she heard the screaming of some girls and the sound of breaking glass and furniture, she peaked out of the restroom with an amused smile. She waited a good quarter of an hour, then left through the back-door, which led to the neighbouring alley.

She stopped short and pressed herself firmly into the dark doorway, when she spotted the two thugs. They were swearing and wiping blood from their hands and faces into their posh suits, where they were standing at the opening of the alley, below a small lamp that hung from another back-door. One of them made a phone call, and she listened intently to overhear it.

"Yeah... Yeah, she did... We saw her buying it, just as you said she would... No. No... We were bounced... No! Yes, sir. Yes, sir." the man added on an obedient mantra as if he was some sort of a soldier that really amused Emma. Then he ended the call "We're done." he declared to the other thug, and they left the alley to go for their car.

When she saw the vehicle pass by the alley, she stepped out onto the street and watched it leave. She took a deep, liberating breath "Check-mate, ma chérie. This game was mine. You always forget that pride goeth before a fall, you know me far less than you might think you do!"

A chilly wind blew through her thin coat, and she pulled the two sides more tightly together as she started out into the dark, autumn night. This time, without a companion.


	23. Chapter 23

_Emma just finished changing from her costume into casual clothes in her dressing room and sat down in front of the mirror to brush her hair, when there was a knock on the door. She turned her head to the sound with a frown, but then turned back to the mirror with a shrug and said in a raised voice "Just leave the flowers outside with the guard!" she said and went on brushing her long hair._

_To her surprise, the door opened, and she heard the voice of a man saying "I have no flowers."_

_His voice was alien, and she turned to him shocked and frightened. A tall man dressed in a very expensive suit stood in the middle of her dressing room. He seemed to be over sixty, but his eyes were sparkling with life and vigour - and his features were dashing. Was she not scared to death, she'd even dare say, he was handsome in the classical gentleman-like way._

_But she WAS scared shitless by the stranger-intruder, so she jumped up from her make-up chair with blazing eyes "Who are you? Get the hell out of here!" she even took a step to him threateningly - then stopped when she realized that she'd have no chance at protecting herself from him with a freaking hairbrush... "Where's the guard?" she asked now with a slight trembling in her voice. From time to time, there'd been fans who were a little too eager to meet her - but this one was an old man! What if he was a REAL psycho or something?!_

_The man smiled smugly turning his palms up "I offered him a cigarette. And some money to smoke outside under the starry sky." he said glancing at the ceiling._

_Emma's frown deepened "Then that'll be his last cigarette in his life! Who the hell are you?!" she asked now really upset._

_"Earl Mils." he said simply with a polite nod of his head then smiled, this time a really friendly smile "I didn't meant to scare you, Ms. Jones. Please... just relax! I just wanted to talk to you, but you're not taking my phone calls. I supposed a more direct approach would be more effective. And it seems I was right. Now, you're at least talking to me."_

_She snorted and let her guards down. She knew this man. He was an agent. He'd been trying to contact AND contract her from the beginning of her career. She folded her arms in front of her chest, though her brush sticking out at the side of her arms' embrace made her posture rather ridiculous... "What makes you think that I need an agent?"_

_He didn't flinch from her challenging gaze "You fired the last one a month ago. And Epsilon Four is not profuse in agents, especially not in good ones, Ms. Jones."_

_She snorted again, this time it almost turned into a chuckle "Your smugness is quite exceptional." she shrugged and turned back to the mirror "But I don't need an agent. You're just a bunch of losers who have no idea what I really want. I decided to take things into my own hands." she said nonchalantly and went on brushing her hair as if she didn't even want to take note of his presence anymore._

_"With not much success I hear. You got only a supporting role in the next feature of the studio, even if the main role fits you perfectly." he replied in a very calm and confident voice._

_Emma frowned. It was a VERY sensitive spot for her. She'd have been given the role, if they could have agreed with the managers of the studio and the director of the film on her payment and on the fact that she wanted to have a word in the development of the script with regards to her character. However, after a short time, the negotiations came to a halt, and finally, they cast another actress on the role. One that didn't argue that much. She was very disappointed at how helpless she felt about representing her interests throughout the negotiations._

_She put down the brush in front of the mirror and turned back with a seemingly nonchalant expression "I'd have more time for my private matters with a minor role. This was just what I wanted."_

_He crossed to her and stood right in front of her to look deep into her eyes "You spent two weeks in and out of negotiations and lawyers to end up in a role that you could do with your eyes shut. For such a talented actress as yourself, I'd have expected a better lie than this lousy one." he chuckled impudently._

_Emma glared at him furiously "Because YOU could represent my interests better than that!"_

_"As a matter of fact, yes, I could." he nodded with a delighted smile._

_It just fuelled her anger "How would somebody who comes from the middle ages know what'd be the best for the most popular actress of the colony?" she asked mockingly._

_Earl didn't waver "If you're referring to my age, I'm not from the middle ages, I'm only thirty years older than you."_

_Emma couldn't help it, she had to laugh "Thirty?! Only?!"_

_"If you're referring to my experience with being the agent of celebrities, you can always check my CV out. I've sent it to you... a few times. My career started on Earth... well, in the middle ages, actually." he mused chuckling._

_Emma's frown returned - she felt really uncomfortable with men who were her father's age, she really wanted to get rid of him! "I don't care. I don't need an old man anywhere in my life." she told him bluntly "So if you'd excuse me now, I'd like to finish changing. Close the door after yourself." she commanded and was about to turn back to the mirror. To her utter shock, he stopped her with a hand on her arm. She glared at him, and this time, the fear returned to her features. He noticed her reaction, but he wanted to get his point across, so just went on in a calm voice._

_"What you need is somebody to be honest with you." he let her go, when he felt that she would listen to whatever he had to say "And you won't get that with the kind of agents you had so far: young, over-ambitious and head over heels in love with you. Those are not agents, those are snotty kids drooling at your autographed pictures. You never got what you really wanted, when such a youngster represented you, and I don't blame you for throwing all of them out. The problem is that when YOU represented yourself, you got a big slap on the face, didn't you? I could protect you from both such disappointments."_

_Emma had to admit he was right. Moreover, he wasn't simply right, he spoke as if he knew her life from the inside out. She raised an eyebrow sceptically "In exchange?"_

_Earl turned his palms up "I sent you my contract. I stated my needs there. Read it. Think of it as a home work." he told her knowing that he'd won the match already then turned and walked to the door "Give me a call when you're done." he said and pulled out a business card from the inside of his suit to put on the cupboard by the door._

_"I hate home works." she pouted sulking, folding her arms stubbornly._

_He turned his head back to her, but his hand was already on the handle "Then it'll be even more useful. You'll learn to appreciate it when I read YOUR contracts, so you wouldn't need to."_

_She threw up her hands with a wry chuckle - this man was unbelievable! What was he thinking?! "If you really think I'll give you a call, you're crazy!"_

_"If you really think you'll get by all alone, then I'm in good company!" he taunted her with a small smile then his expression became grim "You and I both know, this is a world where men dominate the decision making in all walks of life. Whether we like it or not, it doesn't matter. You need to abide by their rules first, to get enough attention and power to be able to make a change later."_

_This time, she looked into his eyes shocked. Making a change - any kind of change - on Epsilon was not something that could be casually discussed, especially not with a stranger! He was honest! AND crazy! ...And he was also out of the door already._

_Fifteen minutes later, Earl's phone rang as he was driving home._

_"I won't read your freaking contract. It's a hundred pages long! I'll doze off before getting to page 3." he heard her voice and chuckled._

_"So then we're at a stalemate."_

_"I'll sign it, if you summarize it for me." she told him nonchalantly._

_Earl almost dropped his phone hearing her being so careless about such an important matter, but tried not to show his shock to her "How about meeting for lunch tomorrow? I'll explain it to you why it's irresponsible to do such a thing, and will go through the papers with you."_

_She sighed disappointed "So I should be prepared for the most tedious of all the lunches I've ever had."_

_He chuckled "Well, then choose a good restaurant, so we could at least have decent food while we bore ourselves to death."_

* * *

She was wrong. It was one of the most inspiring, most interesting lunches she ever had.

Her career skyrocketed after signing with Earl. And before long, he became her closest friend on the colony. She hadn't seen him for two months and now standing at his door, she missed him more than ever before. She felt her heart raced in anticipation as she knocked.

A young man let him in, some others - some of whom she knew and some whom she didn't - were around as well as she walked through the corridors. Then she entered the living room alone. It was a huge space with comfortable armchairs and a wide couch around a fireplace. The light was dim, only the fire painted the walls and the floor in an orange light. The door closed behind her, and she looked around squinting in the semi-darkness until her eyes got used to it.

A figure then emerged from the darkest depths of the room "Is that you? Is that really you, little bird?"

She heard his voice, and her throat closed "Yeah..." it was all she could utter as he stepped opposite her, and she saw him in the light. In sharp contrast with his usual very elegant suits, he now wore a shabby tweed sweater - and he seemed visibly older than she last had seen him. But his blue eyes were sparkling with life the same as they always had! "Yes, it's me, Earl, oh..." she breathed and hugged him tightly.

"I can't believe you're here!" she heard his voice muffled in her hair, and a relieved chuckle blurted through her lips.

"But I'm here!" she whispered and planted a loving kiss on his cheek.

They embraced barely noticing their flowing tears.

* * *

Beverly watched Data with a grim expression on her face as he was sitting there on Emma's bed wrapped up in his sadness and worry. She went over in her mind what he'd just told them so desperately about how alone Emma must have felt, and a thought occurred to her "Something... is out of place here..." she said slowly, but then never went on, and finally, the Captain tried to catch her daydreaming gaze.

"What is it, Beverly?" he asked finally.

"Oh, I just..." she looked around at all three of them "Something doesn't add up here. Jean-Luc. Is your 'combadge' still... functioning?" she asked making quotes with her fingers referring to the transmitter feature Geordi had implemented in the badge to avoid being eavesdropped on.

Not having been present at the conversation when the Captain showed off Geordi's newest invention, Data looked at them with a puzzled frown "What ar-" he started, but the Captain just waved him off.

"Later, Mr. Data." Picard told him absently, and taking the small object out of his pocket, he checked it and nodded to Beverly "You may speak freely."

Beverly looked at Data "Data, you're sure Emma ran away, because she thinks that we don't trust her? Did she tell you so?"

Data nodded "Just before she ran off, she didn't state any reasons, however she's been saying this for two days now. I concluded this was her reasoning."

Beverly shook her head "No, something else must be in this. She knows that even if nobody else does, I'd surely believe her. I've known her husband for a longer time she does, and she knows I've always been against her getting married to him. She has no reason to believe that my opinion changed in a day. Even if she thinks that all others think that her husband is innocent like a lamb, she should have come to me. Instead what is she doing? Running off blaming everybody for trusting her husband. Even if for a stranger, it'd seem to be very much like Emma, I've known her for decades. It's not like her at all!"

Data felt as if a huge bucket of ice-cold water was poured on his already enraged neural net. Did he really judge Emma's reasons so poorly? Did he know her so little while priding himself on the opposite, that it never even occurred to him to doubt what he concluded?

"So what do you suggest that means?" Picard asked in a tense voice now really intrigued.

Beverly shook her head again "I'm not sure. But what if, this was not the heat of the moment? What if she planned this all along? Just waited for the right moment, when everybody would consider her running away to be part of her capriciousness."

Data decided to put his self-doubting aside for a little while, and he looked at Beverly questioningly "What do you think her goal might be, Doctor Crusher?"

"I don't know, Data. But if she has one, we might be able to find a clue to conclude it." she answered excited.

At this, Data slumped back into his disillusioned state of mind "I've checked all of her belongings, Doctor Crusher. There's nothing. No clues left behind."

"We might not find anything here, but what if something's up there!" Beverly pointed upwards, and as Data stared at the ceiling for several long seconds, she slouched rolling her eyes and added "I mean up there, Data, on the Enterprise. In her quarters."

Picard nodded "Good idea, Beverly."

Data felt even more self-conscious because of his faux pass than he'd been before - though he was down in the dumps already. The whole day was just horrible! He couldn't remember the last time he felt so upset and agitated in his life! This standing around and chit-chatting was really the last straw. He shook his head impatiently and stood "Most of her belongings are in my quarters. I'd know about it, if there was anything that could give us a clue. She brought virtually nothing from Epsilon Four. We might spend a lot of time, and would gain nothing on it." his voice was full of tension and the others noticed the repressed aggression too - very much unlike Data.

"So what do you want to do?" Juliana asked worried seeing him so agitated.

"I go out and find her." he told them as he went to the neighboring room.

They followed him and watched him as he was looking for something among his stuff. Picard tried to reason with him "Data, it's a huge city out there. There's very little chance that you'd just bump into her. Especially, that she knows the place better than you do." he told him patiently, but Data's feelings took the better of him.

"I know!" he snapped at his own Captain turning to him "But I'm not going to just sit around!" he told him going back to poke around in his stuff.

Beverly and the Captain exchanged worried glances, and she tried to reason with him too "No one asks you to! But it'll just make matters worse, if we're acting unreasonably, like you do now! It's not at all like you!"

Data swirled around and glared at her "To hell with being reasonable!" he blurted shocking himself a lot more than the others, who just looked at him baffled as he went on spreading his arms helplessly "Maybe... maybe the court martial was right after all! I do need to have my emotion-chip turned off, because right now in this present situation, I haven't even the slightest idea how to act reasonably." all his words reflected a lot of repressed emotions boiling under the surface, all too ready to blow.

Beverly's heart sank as the realization hit her. He really had no clue. He had no clue how to deal with as strong emotions as he was experiencing just now when a loved-one was missing during a mission. It was something they'd learned to do even as cadets or in their very first years assigned to starships as part of their jobs. But Data never had the chance to learn the same gradual way they had and was never given the time to adjust. Even if he seemed fine with all of his emotions most of the time, it must have been very difficult to deal with all of them all of a sudden - and there must have been a turmoil in his head right now.

She looked over at Picard, who watched his android friend with a troubled expression. After a moment, he nodded and turned to her "Beverly. Go back to the Enterprise. Try to look for anything among Ms. Jones' belongings that might help us. If you find something, you'll be able to reach us through our badges." he looked back at Data "I'm going with you."

"Captain..." Data started to protest, but Picard cut in.

"Yes, Mr. Data, I'd like to believe that you still consider me THAT, and obey my commands." he told him on a flat tone to which the younger man shut his mouth with a sulking expression, and Picard went on "Bring your combadge, and a phaser. I'm bringing mine too. Let's be prepared!" he said and left them alone to go back to his room.

Data after some more fumbling around in his stuff, finally managed to find his Type-1 phaser which was so small that it could fit into his palm, and so was easier to hide. He now only needed his combadge. He looked at his mother and held out his hand for his jacket:

"Mother, please." he asked in a silent voice, and as Juliana gave the torn garment back to him, sinking his hand into one of the pockets, he fetched out his combadge too. He dropped the jacket on the bed carelessly and felt the side of his trousers to look for a pocket he could put the two small objects into. But these were his uniform trousers that had no pockets at all. Whenever they had to wear a side-arm or have a tricorder with them, they'd have a belt for that. Obviously, it'd be too visible now.

"No place to put them away?" Beverly asked chuckling watching him so caught up in hesitation.

He grimaced "I have no other jackets presently."

"What's wrong with this one?" she asked not having heard their conversation with Juliana from the very beginning.

"Ah, it's..." he picked it up and held it out to her "...torn and..."

"And you know that if a certain someone was here, she'd immediately point out that you're not going on a fashion show!" she chuckled trying to lift the mood a little.

He growled silently rolling his eyes not cheered up even a bit and just as the Captain was coming through the door again, he put his jacket back on and sank his two hands into both pockets to hide his phaser and combadge in them.

His eyes widened in surprise as one of his hands met a piece of paper.

"What is it?" Juliana asked concerned seeing his expression.

He pulled out the paper and looked at it frowning puzzled.

"What is it, Data? You look as if you found the result for the equations of the universe." Beverly asked too smiling.

"I don't know." he whispered staring at the paper stunned.

"What do you mean you don't know, it was in YOUR pocket." the Captain told him with a hint of impatience and crossing to him, stood next to him to look at the paper. And a surprised frown appeared on his features too.

"What is it?" Beverly asked now alarmed by their strange behaviour.

Picard raised his head from the paper still in Data's hands "Coordinates." he answered simply instead of his friend who seemed to be standing there dumbstruck.

Emma looked into his eyes as he crossed the door. And she pushed the jacket right into his hands gazing into his eyes so intensely! She gave him the clue! She put it right into his hands! It was there! It was there with him all along! And he almost... A tremor ran through him, and he took a long breath feeling himself very close to be completely overwhelmed by his emotions - the processing utilization of his emotion-chip was almost a hundred percent!

Nobody noticed his inner struggles. Beverly looked into the Captain's eyes and felt a huge stone rolling off of her heart in relief "She did have a goal. She wanted us to go after her. To find her."

"But why? And where?" Juliana asked what they all had on their minds.

"Well," Picard looked at them with sparkling eyes "let us find out!" he said with the enthusiasm of an explorer - it was a riddle, and now that his instinctual attraction toward riddles kicked in, he wanted to solve it!

"Let me take my tricorder, Jean-Luc, one moment!" Beverly told them and returned in a minute with a small side-bag fitting the fashion of the 21st century, her tricorder and other useful things hidden inside.

He pressed his combadge "Picard to transporter room 2! Three to beam to the following coordinates!"

But before he could finish, Juliana cut him off "Please, Captain Picard. I'd like to go as well."

Beverly and the Captain exchanged glances again, and Beverly winced "Wouldn't it be too suspicious that every one of us left? Even you, Doctor Tainer."

"Emma is my son's close friend. It's understandable that I'm concerned about her and want to try to find her too." Juliana replied wringing her hands then added in a low voice "Please don't leave me here with Admiral McKinnley."

All of them understood. Who would want to engage even in a simple polite chat with a man who previously humiliated her son before her very eyes?

"This is Ensign Joffrey speaking, Sir. Awaiting coordinates." a voice from the transporter room answered through the comlink - and Beverly was grateful for the semi-darkness they were standing in because her cheeks became impossibly red on hearing the voice of her 'special friend'.

Picard didn't seem to notice it, just looked into the pleading eyes of Juliana for a moment longer thinking - she was a civilian no doubt, but she was also an android even if she didn't know about the fact. She was not as fragile as she seemed. "Make that four, Ensign. The coordinates are the following:" he took the note from Data - who still stood there rigid, petrified - and read out "34.083687, -118.319611."

"Acknowledged."

"And Ensign!" the Captain interrupted before Joffrey could push the button.

"Yes, Captain?"

"This communication never happened, and we never beamed to these or any other coordinates. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Sir! As you wish, Sir! Please, prepare - not to be beamed!"

The Captain smiled seeing that the young Ensign DID understand, and a moment later, their bodies dissolved into small particles.


	24. Chapter 24

When all the shiny little particles integrated, they rematerialized and found themselves outside of a huge gate made of brick with two arches. There was a grate at the top of the arches made of wrought iron turned into intricate patterns. However, it was all very weathered: the bricks visible in the arches were plainly not meant to be seen, and the grate was rusty. There would have been some sort of a sign on top of the arches, but most of the letters were missing, so they had no idea where their good fortune (and Emma's note) had brought them. Looking through the gate though, it was plain that the place was a huge complex of buildings, and not only one house.

"Do you have any idea where we are? Looks like some factory or depot... or neither..." the Captain tried to guess, glancing to his sides to the members of his small team, but they all shook their heads.

"Should we go in?" Beverly asked looking inside the gates.

"Emma gave THESE specific coordinates." Data replied "I believe we should wait for her here."

Beverly winced "Knowing her special relationship with numbers, she might have meant the other side of this... well, whatever this complex is."

The Captain nodded looking once again around "I'm also on the opinion that we should take a look around inside the gates. We can come back out once we found out what this place is."

They wordlessly acknowledged and filed through the gate to arrive at a huge artificial plain, covered with concrete. There were buildings all around it, but it seemed time was not generous with them either and though it was plain that they were numbered for some reason, not one had any signs or labels that were clearly legible. All of them seemed uniformed, no windows, once painted white, but the paint had long come off at most places. They walked on slowly, looking around curiously trying to figure out where they were.

"Which way?" Beverly asked as they stopped in the middle of the plain.

"What is that?" Juliana pointed to the direction Data was looking.

"They seem to be cottages made of wood, Mother. I wonder what buildings of that kind are doing inside what seems to be a factory." Data answered - and Juliana noted relieved that he sounded a lot calmer than he had seemed at the residence.

"No, Data, I meant THAT... thing..." she pointed to the left from the cottages.

They followed where she was pointing and saw a container of some sort standing on very high and thin legs.

Data was the only one who recognized the structure "It is a water tower, Mother. Centuries ago, such structures provided storage of the necessary water supply for use in many applications. It is constructed at a height sufficient to pressurize the water supply system for the distribution of potable water. As the water falls from that height, it would be under the necessary pressure in the pipes required to travel great distances." he explained in detail as they started to walk again.

"I'd like to see these smaller houses." Captain Picard guided them towards the cottages "Maybe somebody might be living inside and could give us some information on what this place is."

They walked another few minutes and arrived what seemed to be a tiny village of cottages. Data was reminded of one of the holodeck sets long gone with the Enterprise-D. It was the set created by Worf's son, Alexander, and the child showed it to him after he and Geordi tried to unsuccessfully interface his brain with the ship's computer, resulting all of the characters in Alexander's story look just like him! It was a baffling experience to meet so many of himself, even knowing that all were holodeck characters. But the set seemed to be the same: small houses, dirt roads, and a recreational facility with doors that neither reached the threshold nor the lintel. He was thinking about telling them his association but decided against it - he had been doing and saying quite enough silly, out-of-character things today, he didn't want to get anybody even more worried for him than they'd already been.

"I know I might sound crazy." Beverly started slowly in a small voice as they were walking among the small houses "But I feel as if we were walking in the ancient Wild West of the American continent of Earth!"

Data turned his head sharply to her - so he was NOT going crazy!

Picard looked at her quite uncomfortably "That's exactly what I wanted to say, Beverly."

"I'm glad, I'm not the only one feeling as if they were walking in some sort of a twisted dream." Juliana told them, and the fright was palpable from her slightly trembling voice.

Data finally looked at her and with his emotions now calmer, he had enough resources to realize that his mother could use some reassurance. He put a soothing hand on her arm and gave her a small smile. She smiled back relieved and grateful for his concern. As he looked around however, he stopped short and cocked his head looking at the house next to them.

The others stopped too, and Picard looked at him questioningly "What is it, Data? You know, I was thinking, we should knock in and check whether anyone is home-"

"Nobody is home, Sir." Data cut him off tilting his head from side to side taking a step closer to the house.

"You sure?" Beverly asked "How can you tell?"

"I can tell, because this house is not fit for living." he turned to stand opposite them "To be accurate, this is NOT a house. It's a façade."

"A façade." Picard repeated with a stunned frown.

"Yes, Captain."

Beverly took out her tricorder and checked the buildings around them "No life signs reading, apart from our own, Captain. And the mass of the buildings seems to be a lot less than it should be, if there was ANYTHING inside, including walls!"

Juliana looked at them with confusion and fear written all over on her face "Why would anyone build a village of façades in the middle of a factory?" she asked in a small voice - the place became creepier with every passing moment.

"I do not know, Mother, but look there! There's another instance of a façade!" he pointed to their right. They took a few steps to get a better view on where he was pointing. The village ended nearby, only one or two houses away from where they had been standing. At the border, an enormous tank of water started and behind the water tank there was the blue sky - painted on a wall! It was just as weathered as the buildings, but in the bright light of the two full moon's of Epsilon Four, the pattern was clearly visible.

"Good god!" Beverly whispered putting a hand to her head "I know where we are!" she turned back to them astonished "Emma spoke about this place in her messages. But it was years and years ago, I couldn't remember till now!"

"Explain, Beverly!" Picard urged her.

"This is a film studio! A what's it's called... a studio lot! This is a place where they made movies in the 20th and 21st century. No wonder we don't recognize it with all our holo-movies made in holo-studios - god, they actually built these structures for the films to be used as sets!" she looked around amazed.

"The lengths the colony went to reproduce the 21st century is in itself astonishing!" Picard told them grumbling, but just couldn't keep the wryness out of his voice. What kind of a fanatic do you need to be to recreate even THIS?

"Why is it so worn and torn?" Juliana asked in a calmer voice now, with the creepiness explained, she was a little less frightened.

Beverly turned back to them to look at her "They invested a lot of money in making films in the first years of the colony, as Emma explained. But after a few years, the industry collapsed. In such a small colony, such a huge money- AND resource-consuming industry could never have survived too long. The lot was abandoned. The colony still have movie-theatres though, but they play old 20th, 21st century Earth movies."

"Like Casablanca." Data said silently, remembering Emma telling them about how she knew the film when they were still preparing for Dreamland - she'd gone to watch it with her husband.

Picard cleared his throat and took a small step forward "Now, that our shock wore off, let us make some progress, and let's try to figure out why Ms. Jones could have wanted to lead us to an abandoned studio lot, shall we?"

* * *

Emma was sitting at the kitchen table and devoured a huge bowl of hot soup.

"Careful. It's just come off the stove." Earl told her lowering his slender form into a chair next to her gingerly. She just waved his concern away with a mumble and some blowing on the spoonful of soup she was about to put into her mouth. He smiled at her watching as she was eating "You look as if you haven't had anything in the last two months. Do they not cook well on that fancy starship of yours?"

"Hmmm... not the way YOU cook!" Emma mumbled then looked at him "Tried to get the replicator to make some of your recipes. It asked for the exact molecular structure."

They chuckled, and Earl shrugged apologetically "Can't help you with that." he watched her on with a small smile.

"You could make a very good living from this, if you moved back to Earth." Emma mumbled to him absently as she consumed the last bit of her soup.

"You're forgetting that in the 24th century you don't need to make a living." Earl told her with a wry chuckle. Then as he caught her gaze he added in a low, gloomy voice "You still live here."

She sighed looking away and shrugged "Not that easy to bend your way of thinking after a decade." she looked back at him shrugging again "Sometimes I catch myself worrying about paying for food - then I realize, there're the replicators, if I'm hungry, and there's no money to pay with. Still a dazzling realization. Every freaking time, that is..."

Earl now sighed disappointed "Why for heaven's sake did you come back here?" - she was there, she was out of here! And now...

"I couldn't help it, Earl, I was made to." Emma told him defensively.

"Made to! Who? Who could have made you come back to the one place you have no business at anymore?" he asked, and she could see that even though, he was happy to see her, he was also upset about it. He did a lot to get her off of this planet, to help her get a chance at a new life. She knew he was disappointed that she was throwing that chance away by coming back.

She shook her head never raising her voice a bit "Earl. Who do you think did?"

He bowed his head "Don't tell me, that his hands reach even Starfleet." he told her in a low, shaken voice.

She didn't need to reply, and a heavy silence descended on them.

She finally reached out and took his hand into both of hers. His hand was thin and cold, and she tried to warm it gently in hers. He looked into her eyes gratefully, then she just bowed her head and watched their entwined hands, and entangled fingers as her thumb stroked the back of his hand.

His hand was so old - HE was so old! She felt her heart break under the thought because she knew his condition didn't have to be as fragile as it was, had he been on any other goddamn human colony! He was only 73, not a lot older than Data's mother. But in a colony reduced to the medical technology of the 21st century, his age meant that he WAS old.

She turned her gaze up to look into his eyes to stop herself from starting to cry and smiled wistfully "You know, I was thinking... now that Ed blackmailed me into coming here... there has to be a reason for that! Call me naive, but I want to make a difference! I want to change things here."

Earl shook his head not sharing her belief and enthusiasm at all "I've told you, Emma, the only difference you have to make is in your own life."

"I'm making a difference in my own life too! I'm gonna divorce Ed. That's also a reason I'm here. But not the only reason! I found friends whom I can trust enough to know that they'd help me, help this colony. With their help, we might be enough to make that difference!" she told him with a belief she hadn't felt for a very-very long time.

He searched her eyes for a long moment with a small smile "I wonder what they've done to the sarcastic, disillusioned girl I said goodbye to two months ago." Emma smiled embarrassed - he was right, she did change. Data and Beverly changed her and the friendly acceptance she received from almost literally everyone on the Enterprise. As she mused, he went on watching her "Friends you say?... Your eyes shine with a different light, little bird. Is there somebody you're singing to now?"

She met his gaze and giggled softly like a little girl then shrugged shyly "Well... to a very special someone. Someone who sings back to me too! The same timeless, irresistible melody."

"Am I going to meet that special someone?" he asked curiously squeezing her hand where it held onto his.

She nodded eagerly "Very soon! I left him a note to find me."

He chuckled at this a little sceptically "And is he gonna be able to find you?"

She nodded again confidently "He's very smart. He'll figure it out." she sighed "You'll see, he's just... He's amazing! The best person in the whole universe - well, maybe not counting you and Beverly." she stopped and studied his face for a long moment "You know... now that I come to think of it, he takes after you! A lot!"

He laughed a heart-felt laugh "Well, gals tend to choose guys who might take after their daddies - and since I've been pretty much your surrogate-dad ever since we've known each other, I'd suppose it's only natural." he smiled warmly "I'm really honored, little bird."

She smiled and sighed contentedly. She felt a warm glow descending on her heart: she was home, she was fed with her favorite soup, she was talking about her love to the man she'd always considered the father she never had - it was just perfect! She suddenly felt exhaustion catching up on her and yawned.

"Why don't you have a nap? Your room is still the same as it used to be." he smiled lovingly.

She shook her head "No, no, I'm fine. Besides, Data might get here any minute. I want to be up, when he does."

"Data..." he frowned repeating the name "That is one strange name, if I ever heard one."

"Yeah, well..." she grimaced a bit unsure "Maybe I should talk a little more about him, shouldn't I?"

He sighed thinking he realized what the trick was: "And what you're gonna tell me is that, he's a Klingon or some other such kind."

She chuckled as she tried to imagine Data as a Klingon - and fortunately failed "No, no, he's not an alien, he's an android."

He frowned puzzled "Android... as in..." he asked with a small shake of his head not completely sure, where he should be looking for the term in his memories of the 24th century. He hadn't heard it for a decade!

"Oh, he's... He's a... he's kind of a mechanical man. But he looks just like us. Well, normally, his colors are a little different. But right at the moment, you wouldn't be able to tell him apart from another human."

"I don't want to pretend that I understand." he replied squinting trying to follow her somewhat jumbled explanation "Did mechanical people become common in the 24th century?" he asked really surprised "I remember there were lots of robots, but they didn't really look anything like humans."

"No, no! He's one of a kind. He's not a robot, he's sentient - he's just like a human!" she shrugged finally realizing that she wouldn't be able to explain Data's nature to him in any way he would understand "Well, you'll see for yourself, when you meet him!"

"Okay, can't wait for it!" he said with a bit sceptical smile turning his palms up letting go of her hand briefly "Now, let's go back to the living room. You have plenty of stories to tell, I bet."

She smiled and nodded, but just as they got up from the table, the floor began to move under their feet. Seeing her losing her footing, he reached out to her to steady her. The tremor went away after a few seconds, and she looked at him a little frightened.

"You alright?" he asked smiling encouragingly and squeezed his embrace around her for a short moment.

"Yeah, just forgot what this was like." she smiled embarrassed, and he let her go. Tremors were part of their daily lives on Epsilon Four - it seemed that two months was enough for her to... well, to get unused to them.

Suddenly, the door swung open and a young man stepped in gasping "Earl. You have to come! It's Gary."

The elder man let out a frustrated long breath "What did he do THIS time?" he asked in a tense voice.

"There're some trespassers out in the lot. You know how jumpy Gary is nowadays, he... he shot one of them!"

"What?" Earl gaped.

"Earl!" she cut in, her voice full of dread as the realization hit her "Those will be my friends!"

Nothing more was said, all three of them rushed through the door.


	25. Chapter 25

Picard's small team walked out of the Western village and then by the wall of blue sky. It took them another few minutes to decide which way to turn at the water tower: the lot seemed to have a maze of streets and avenues. They finally decided to walk by the water tower too and continue in the direction they were heading so far. The next set they arrived at resembled a city with old, tall blocks, most of them built of brick. Decay was not as visible on these buildings as on the neighbouring ones, they were magnificent in their own nature.

"And these are all façades too?" Juliana asked in a hushed voice.

"It seems so, Doctor." Picard answered "Look at that window for example." They stopped, and he pointed up to one of the buildings upper windows. "You see? The double-moons shine through it. From the inside out."

"Oh, indeed!" she nodded amazed. She looked around and saw the double-moons behind most of the upper windows as they moved about.

It was Data who stopped short again as he noticed something, gluing his gaze on a building at the far end of the set. The others stopped too and looked at him questioningly.

"What is it Data?" Picard asked for the second time that evening, knowing from experience that he DID notice something important.

"That structure, Captain over there. It's not the same as the others." he answered in a silent voice.

"What's different about it, Data? I see nothing out of the ordinary - well, compared to the other façades." Picard answered squinting, tilting his head, trying to see what Data saw.

"This is exactly it, Captain. It is NOT a façade."

Picard frowned almost a little irritated "What do you mean it's not a façade? I can see the double-moons shining through the windows, the same as they do..."

"Those are not the moons, Sir. It's the holographic image of the double-moons." he pointed to the building "That structure, Captain, is a real building disguised as a façade."

They stood there gaping for a few moments, and then walked up to the building.

"Holographic imaging." Picard grumbled "Not the technology I'd name as one coming authentically from the 21st century." he told them sarcastically. Something was way off here, he could feel it in his bones as they stopped at the gate of the holo-structure.

Beverly stood next to the men looking at Data with an amazed smile "This is why she didn't leave more than the coordinates for you to find, Data. She knew you'd find her even where no human ever could." she told him moved by the unique gesture of confidence Emma showed to him.

Data finally let a small smile on his features. She was here! She was inside! Only a few steps away! And she did trust him still! She knew he'd find her!

But just as they were about to try to enter, they heard strange clicking sounds coming from all around them. Looking around a little puzzled, to their dismay, they saw several people with guns in their hands stepping out of the surrounding façades or leaning out of one window or the other. Data was about to reach for his phaser, but Picard's low voice stopped him:

"Easy, Mr. Data." he grumbled silently, and Data let his hands drop to his side. The two ladies stood half a step behind them, and Beverly glanced over to Juliana worriedly. The elderly lady stood there with dread in her eyes, and Beverly felt her heart sink: she must have been terrified. She gazed around: none of the gunman's faces were visible, they wore masks or the shadow of their hats hid their features. The moonlight ran down on one gun barrel or the other as they moved closer and closer to where they were standing and Beverly tried hard to swallow her fear.

The last man to appear came out of the holo-building with a buzz and distortion in the reflected image of the gate. Unlike the others, his face was visible, and he seemed awfully young, especially taking the enormous gun in his hand into consideration.

"Who are you?" he asked pointing the gun at Data "Which one's your boss?"

Picard tried to catch the young man's gaze "I'm Jean-Luc Picard, and we mean no harm. We're looking for a friend." He didn't want to be too direct about the fact that they were Starfleet officer as long as he had no idea whom they were facing.

The kid shook his head "We know all our friends, here. But I don't know YOU. Now what do you make of that?"

"We're looking for Emma Jones." Picard went on, but before, he could say anything more the kid took a step toward him, pointing the gun straight ahead at him.

"No one calls her 'Jones' here! All her friends know how she feels about THAT name! You were sent by that son-of-a-bitch husband of hers, right? Admit it?!" he shouted.

"No! We..."

"Shut up! I'm fed up with your lies!" the kid shouted suddenly out of control "You're lying in the news, you're lying on the billboards, you're lying to the kids in school, you're lying to everyone!" he yelled at them pointing the gun at Picard, and holding it in a visibly shaky hand! The Captain's eyes widened understanding that they were in real trouble now!

Another young man stepped up to them "Stop the tantrum, Gary, and ask the important questions, already!" he scolded the other kid then looked at Picard "How the hell did you figure out where we are?" he asked squinting his eyes suspiciously.

Before the Captain had a chance to answer, the floor began to shake under their feet, and as the gun almost fell out of Gary's hand, he grabbed hold of it so as not to drop it - and the weapon accidentally fired! The awful sharp sound cut through the silence of the night.

The tremor stopped in a second, and the other kid gaped at Gary in panic "Man, you shot him, you shot him!" he shouted and ran inside the building - without having the courage to look over to the trespassers to see who was hit by the bullet.

Gary stood there frozen to the spot, his eyes were glued to a tightly closed fist just in front of a wide-eyed Picard.

Data slowly pulled his fist away from in front of the Captain's chest, just where his artificial-heart was, then opened his palm and simply let the deformed bullet fall to the ground with a metallic click. He then dropped his hand to his side and looked into Gary's eyes with a deadpan expression. The kid grew white as a wall and panted through his open mouth, his eyes wide as a saucer.

Data took a step toward him and held out his hand "I believe that weapon might be more secure in the hands of an adult." the bright moonlight ran over sparkling in the gash the bullet had cut in the bioplast on his palm, making now the underlying metal visible.

Seeing it, Gary was too frightened to think clearly, and with a helpless moan, he pointed the gun at him. But Data was again faster than they could have followed with their eyes. Before Gary could realize what had occurred, Data was already bending the barrel of the weapon he'd held in his shaking hands a nano-second before. "It is even more secure this way." Data added, and Gary watched the inhuman stunt petrified. The other armed guards didn't dare to move or even to breathe!

"What are you..." the kid breathed shaking like a leaf as Data dropped the gun.

"Gary!" they heard a female voice coming from the building - and Data recognized it immediately. His lips curled upward almost invisibly as he watched Emma rushing through the holographic image of the façade door, with the other young kid in her toes. She grabbed Gary by the arm and gave him a hard shake "What have you done?!" she then looked at her friends "Are you alright? Who did he shoot?!" she asked agitated looking from one of them to the next and the next expecting the worse.

Picard let out a long breath he never noticed he held in for what seemed to be at least an hour "Me, Lieutenant. But thanks to Mr. Data, I'll make it. Thank you, Mr. Data." he told the android.

Data nodded with a small smile "You're welcome, Captain." he replied in a silent voice.

Emma looked back at the kid "You stupid little idiot!" she hit him on the arm "These are my friends! If you can't tell a Starfleet officer apart from one of Ed's thugs just because they don't wear their uniforms, then don't play the big boy with a gun!" she shouted.

"You didn't see what he just did!" Gary pointed to Data, but he couldn't finish, because Earl stepped out of the building, finally, catching up with them a little late. The old, frail man had such a commanding presence that in a moment, all eyes were on him.

He looked at Gary with a strict expression, his mouth was a thin line "You go to your room now!" he told the kid in a low voice.

He didn't have to repeat it, Gary bolted inside without a word. Earl stepped next to Emma and looked over at the small team as the guards behind them dispersed back to their posts.

"I'm terribly sorry for this cold welcome. I'm Earl Mils. The leader of the Resistance."

The Captain stepped up to him and held out his hand "Captain Jean-Luc Picard, from the Federation starship Enterprise. On a mission not at all approved by the Federation." he added with a wry smile.

They shook hands, and Earl nodded "Desperate times call for desperate measures. I appreciate your endeavours, Captain."

He then stepped over to Data and shook hands with him wordlessly, holding the other man's hand in his for a moment longer than expected - he did look a little like his younger self! God, when was the time, when I was THIS young? he thought a bit nostalgically.

He then greeted Beverly warmly too, knowing that she was Emma's closest friend.

The last one was Juliana. She stood there timidly wrapping her arms around herself, feeling cold and frightened. She regretted coming with them an hour ago already. She was a civilian, not an officer. Facing the Admiral would be horrible, but something she could deal with as a civilian - standing at gunpoint was not!

As the tall figure of Earl stepped to her, she raised her gaze to meet his and time stopped for an instant for both of them. Juliana didn't even know how her hand ended up in his in a long, gentle handshake. She just knew she stared into his eyes and couldn't turn her gaze away. Did this strange double-moonlight and the events of the night take her wits?! He looked so much like Noonian! Even more so than Data! All the more so, because the Noonian she had known had been almost as old as this man seemed.

Earl stood there spellbound too, holding on to Juliana's hand, and Emma watched the small scene with a serene smile. She never realized, introducing the two of them to each other would be so intriguing, but now that it happened, she was more than a little excited about it! It gave her some inexplicable hope to see that you might get old, you might get sick, but love and romance might still find you. Even at the strangest of places and times!

She gazed over at Data. He had eyes only for her, he didn't notice the small heart-warming scene. Perhaps instead, he was looking for a heart-warming scene of their own. She looked into his eyes deeply with a gentle smile - well, we'll see what we can do about it, my sweet, sweet Deadpan!

"Let's go inside! It's too cold out here to just stand around." Earl motioned them inside and led the way. Juliana and Picard followed him, while Emma stopped Data by putting a hand on his arm, when he wanted to walk through the threshold after them, but she looked only at Beverly who was stepping up to them.

Bev gave her a broad smile and a tight hug "God, dear, you're crazy!" she told her shaking her head.

Em pulled away to look into her eyes "But this is how you love me, don't ya, sweetie?" she asked, and they chuckled. Bev let her go, and with a final squeeze of her friend's hands in hers, went inside. She smiled knowingly as she heard Emma's voice from outside just before the gate closed behind her.

"What took you so long?!" she asked Data, and the next moment, she threw her arms around his neck claiming his mouth hungrily with hers.

Despite the fact, that this was the one thing his emotion-chip AND his sexuality programming were both screaming for, from the moment he'd seen her again, he was so shocked, that it took him a full second to finally shut his eyes and all his rational cognitive processes and just give himself over to Emma's passionate kiss. His arms finally came up around her tiny waist, and he held her as close as he possibly could without hurting her.

He couldn't believe this was true. That she was really there! In his arms! Her lips on his, her soft body against his! Oh, he wanted to tell her so many things! To let her know, to reassure her! But his mouth was otherwise occupied, and after a few moments, he lost thread of that thought as well as most others as his emotions required almost all of his resources.

When she finally, had enough, she reluctantly broke away from his lips gasping breathlessly and looked up at him through her long lashes. The cold night air almost hurt, where it touched her mouth still wet from their kiss, and their hot breaths were visible against the chilly darkness.

"Welcome to the Resistance!" she breathed in a shaky voice, and an involuntary smile curled her lips upward as she saw his spellbound gaze locked on hers.

He crushed her into a tight embrace and buried his face into her long hair "You have no idea..." he started in a muffled voice, but she stopped him by tightening her embrace around him for a second "Shhh!"

She reluctantly pulled away a little and put a gentle finger on his still moist lips "Hush, baby... Later..." she whispered then smiling lovingly, she stroked his cheek and gave him a short close-mouthed kiss. When she broke away, she brushed the tip of her nose to his, smiling mischievously at him "Come now!" she whispered, and taking his hand tightly into hers, drew him inside the building after her. He followed her, knowing he'd follow her anywhere!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I really feel I need to give you some explanation about the last few chapters you've just read, so here you go!
> 
> First of all, who is Earl Mils? The name does ring a bell to you, Brent fans out there, doesn't it? ;) Well, originally, Earl Mills (with a double L) was the manager of Dorothy Dandridge - now, if you still have no clue about what connection that all has to Brent, then watch the film Introducing Dorothy Dandridge. You'll cry your eyes out, but watch it! I loved Earl's character in the film and also his loving, caring relationship with Dorothy. I needed to have something similar here, however I didn't want to write the real person, hence the change in his name. My Earl is pretty much an original character, and not the real or filmed Earl (he's e.g. much older than the man in the film). I came to think of it, Brent has played so many different roles on ST, sometimes even simultaneously - why not give him another one here? :P
> 
> What about the studio lot? Now, that's an idea from Brent! In an interview, he was asked once whether there was anything he really wanted to do on ST but never could. He answered that he wanted to have an episode with the characters timetravelling back to our era and going around in the sets and having some adventure in the studio lot of Paramount (the last big lot located in Hollywood). I know he'd have wanted it to be funny, but well, this noirish theme is what I could give you.
> 
> What's depicted here is a mixture of what you can find in the Paramount lot now and before 1979, because the Western part was demolished in 1979! (A Fistful of Datas was shot at Universal, not at Paramount!) Though, I'm almost completely sure, I'll never have a chance to visit the lot personally, I did some research for the chapters here, and Brent's right, it IS amazing! Check it out yourself, you may begin by putting the given coordinates into google maps - now I revealed all my cards ;)


	26. Chapter 26

By the time Data and Emma got to Earl's living room, the others were already sitting at the fireplace. Earl in his armchair to the left of the fire, the Captain opposite him in another armchair, Juliana and Beverly on the wide couch in between, all of them sipping hot teas. The light was still dim, but the fire painted their faces a delightfully warm orange. Emma smiled at Data and letting his hand go with a last squeeze, sat in the corner of the couch, beside Beverly to the end farther from Earl - she wanted to let the others sit closer and let them listen to him. Data stood behind her putting his hand on the back of the couch, and fighting the urge to slid his hand to her shoulder to tangle in her hair.

Earl caught his gaze "Mr. Data, please sit down, we might be talking for a while, you'll get tired standing." the elder man told him indicating a chair next to the Captain with an encouraging smile, but Data shook his head.

"Thank you, Mr. Mils, I'll be fine here." he said in his silent voice, and they exchanged a small smile with Emma giving Earl the impression that Data didn't want to sit down, because he wanted to be as close to her as possible. It was a heart-warming thought, and the elderly man smiled faintly, but after a moment, looked at Captain Picard with a serious expression.

"I'd like to apologize once again for what happened outside. Gary's a... very nervous young man." he winced looking for the right word.

"Is he your relative?" the Captain asked lowering his cup from his mouth.

"No. As a matter of fact, neither of them are." Earl replied indicating the other people around and inside the building "They're all refugees in a way, just as Emma used to be. I'm trying to give them a home and a purpose. We all have a past involving some sort of a conflict with the regime and a consequent tragedy. Gary lost his brother, his only relative, not so long ago. He learned that he died in prison a week ago. I believe it's understandable that he's upset."

Picard nodded "It is, however..." a disapproving grimace appeared on his face "what I do NOT understand is why a sixteen-year-old has a weapon in his hand?"

Earl shook his head, but Emma was quicker to reply in his defence "We never give weapons to kids! He must have stolen it or something!"

The old man nodded and went on "Only adults are given weapons, and we only use them for self-defence. To guard this place mostly."

Picard frowned suspiciously "What about the bad reputation of the Resistance? We were told that you're a terrorist group. Is it another lie then?"

Earl glanced away uncomfortably "Well... for the last two years, it's been a lie."

"What happened two years ago?" the Captain asked on a flat tone, almost as if he was conducting an interrogation.

Earl looked into his eyes with a hard expression on his features "I became the leader of the organization, and did away with such practices." they gazed at him surprised - Juliana amazed - as he went on "I don't tolerate violence. The government is using more than enough of it against the people, there's no point in making them suffer even more. We have other means to get our point across."

"What do these 'other means' involve? If I may ask, that is." Picard asked a little sceptical about all this.

Earl nodded "Of course. We're trying to put things right where the government fails the people they're responsible for. For instance, we're trying to provide for the poor, who cannot live from the money they make. We're also trying to keep the people informed. After the last papers that reflected oppositional views have been bought by government-supported publishing firms, we decided to make our own daily paper. Of course, it's illegal, but at least, the people can get information from at least one source other than the propaganda."

Beverly was more struck by his first statement "Are there many poor people?" she asked with a sympathetic expression.

"A lot, Bev." Emma replied in a low voice, and they turned to her as she went on "Officially, everybody has a job so that the statistics look good. But actually, the economy doesn't create as many workplaces as it would be needed. For this reason, the government invented the so called public work. People are employed doing pointless jobs like sweeping the streets over and over again or collecting garbage or raking in parks. They're employed for money that's impossible to live on. Earl usually says it's too much to starve to death but not enough to be fed." she looked over to him.

Picard was still very sceptical and suspicious about this whole. "How do you have the resources to provide for these people without using illegal means?"

Earl smiled a little and shrugged "We do use illegal means, Captain Picard. We have a replicator." he turned one of his palms up "It's old. Barely functional. It can't replicate complex molecular structures, but it can provide the raw materials for food and clothing. It's all the hope these people have."

Emma went on seemingly very enthusiastic now about talking about the Resistance "But it's not the only thing we do! We have associates in hospitals who cure the sick secretly with 24th century medicine. Of course, the means are very limited there as well. Sometimes, we can get the diagnosis, but cannot cure the patient, because we have the necessary diagnostic tools - though they're at least a decade old compared to the ones used on the Enterprise - but we cannot replicate the necessary medicines. But the doctors have become quite resourceful in inventing cures that are accessible by 21st century means. I used to work in a hospital where almost all of the doctors worked like that. Those who didn't, just turned a blind eye, because we all knew, everybody benefited from what we were doing. We barely had to keep anything a secret..." she suddenly grew silent and bowed her head "Well, maybe our naiveté was our mistake." she added gloomily almost as if talking only to herself.

"Was this the hospital you mentioned that was raided?" Beverly asked looking at her concerned.

Emma raised her head and nodded, but her face seemed to turn pale even in the soft orange light of the fire "Yes. There was a patient. We knew he was a hard-core supporter of the regime, but we were hoping that if we save his life, he might understand that this whole is wrong! But he..." she bowed her head growing silent again, and Data couldn't help himself, and put his hand gently on her shoulder as an act of comfort. Emma reached up and held his hand gratefully where it rested on her shoulder as Earl went on for her.

"Apparently, saving his life was not enough to convince him that his beliefs were wrong. He reported the doctors that cured him. The hospital was raided, most of the staff is now imprisoned. Two of them executed."

"Executed?" Beverly asked shocked, and the others looked at Earl with the same expression.

"Yes. If somebody's using illegal medicine or any kind of technology beyond that of the 21st century, especially, if that's somehow an alien technology, that's considered treason. And for treason, the judgement can even be capital punishment. It's rare. But it's also part of the propaganda against technology: they use a malfunctioning transporter. The person is beamed to oblivion..."

When Picard could overcome his shock - which his usual carved in stone features didn't let on - he decided to go on playing the attorney of the devil, still not convinced at all of the intentions of the Resistance to be as selfless as they tried to depict it "Premier Jones assured us almost the moment we set foot on Epsilon Four that the prosecutions and judgements made on the sole reason of political beliefs were suspended as soon as he became the Premier. Is that not true then?"

Earl shook his head "I wouldn't believe that too readily, Captain Picard. He might suspend these inhuman practises as long as you're on the planet, but as soon as he gets what he wants, and the Federation doesn't pay close attention... It'd be naiveté to believe that all would not return to 'normal' once again."

Picard put his cup down on the small table in front of them, and leaning forward, he steepled his fingers "What do you think he wants from the Federation?" he asked locking his gaze with Earl's.

Earl looked back at him seemingly honestly puzzled "Don't you know yourself?"

The Captain turned his palms up for a moment "We do have our guesses, of course." he didn't lower his voice indicating that he wanted Earl to understand what he expected from him.

And the older man did understand: "But you'd like to see, if we're ready to share the information we have before you say anything." Earl finished in a low voice and glanced away thoughtfully for a long moment. There was silence all around them in the dimly lit room, only the sounds of the fire could be heard. The old man finally looked back into Picard's eyes "You see, Captain? This is what Epsilon Four does to people. You look around and see that you can trust no one, you're surrounded by lies. And unnoticeably being distrustful becomes second nature. You don't even think about it anymore, you don't conclude that if we didn't trust you, you wouldn't be sitting here at all."

They were stunned by what he said and thinking about it a little, Picard had to admit, Earl was right. He couldn't believe the smoothly going negotiations and the over-helpful nature of the Premier, but on the other hand, he couldn't believe the complete innocence of the Resistance either. He indeed felt he could trust no one, even if it seemed that finally Ms. Jones was willing to prove her trustworthiness for them. Especially, that Counsellor Troi had warned them: if Emma was to choose between the Resistance and Starfleet, she'd choose the former.

Earl nodded understandingly "It's alright, Captain Picard. I'll tell you all that we know. We have no secrets from the Federation." he told them in a silent, resigned voice, and his disappointment was palpable.

Finally, Juliana was the one brave enough to speak up "Oh, just stop this! All of you! We're all on one side for god's sake!" all eyes were fixed on her suddenly, but she didn't waver - she was used to being the center of attention having taught at universities earlier in her life. She started to explain what they'd concluded that evening looking into Earl's eyes determined "Premier Jones told us that the government wants to trade dilithium with the Federation. In exchange for our help in turning the regime into a democratic one. However, we suspect that the reason behind his changing the regime is not the benefit of the people. We analysed all the information we could gather about the commercial businesses of the colony with Data, and we figured that probably the more shallow seated deposits of dilithium, the ones that can be mined with the technology available in the 21st century has already run out, depriving the colony of a very important source of income. We only could guess, but we figured what Premier Jones really wants is the technology to mine the deeper deposits of the mineral. He can legally use the means the Federation would be willing to provide him, if he loosens the rules of using technology beyond the 21st century. It'd make the colony - or we rather suspect - him personally very rich."

Earl watched her first surprised then amazed: she was so full of life, so determined, so trusting - so very different from everybody around him on the colony! Her face was radiant in the golden light of the fire as she spoke! He couldn't help smiling intrigued as he replied "You're right in many of your conclusions, Ms. Tainer."

Juliana straightened her back and looked at him with a small challenging, almost coquettish smile "I'd prefer Doctor Tainer. That is, if you're unwilling to call me on my first name." she told him, and his smile broadened as he nodded.

"Alright, Juliana in is then. You're right in many of your conclusions. Premier Jones does want the technology to mine the deep depos of dilithium. At least as far as the Resistance is knowledgeable. He wants money, wants to keep his power, and it'd give him a financial security never before seen, even by his predecessor. It could aid him in retaining his power a lot more easily than it was for Premier Hague. However, you're also wrong in some of your guesses. We know from escaped prisoners that they'd been working in the dilithium mines even as recently as two weeks ago. I'd guess they haven't run out of dilithium minable with sheer manpower at all."

Juliana shook her head confused: "But it was plain from the data we could gather about the trades that no dilithium have been sold by Epsilon Four in the last month. What do they do with it then?"

"They don't have warp-capable ships, we'd know about them, if they did." Picard added thoughtfully "So they're not using it for their own benefit."

Finally, Data was the one who spoke up breaking the silence "Perhaps, the reason we couldn't find any traces of it being traded is that they're trading with people we cannot track down."

A very uncomfortable expression appeared on the Captain's face "I gather you're implying Romulans, Mr. Data." Data nodded, but Picard shook his head "I find it very difficult to believe that the Romulans would be willing to break the Treaty of Algeron for such an unreliable source of dilithium as a human colony. Do you really think it could happen that they're crossing the Neutral Zone before our very eyes?"

Data shrugged a little "They do have the technology, Sir. And Admiral McKinnley told you that the mission is important AND classified because there is a possibility that this could happen."

A heavy silence descended on the room at that. It wasn't an easy thing to look into the possibility that Romulans were crossing the borders of the Federation unnoticed or that there were people willing to make business with them even for Starfleet officers. Finally, Picard spoke up in a voice lower than he intended "Mr. Mils, do you happen to have any proof of any of our guesses?"

Earl sighed and turned one of his palms up holding his now cold cup in his other hand "Well... if you mean rock-solid proof... no, I don't have any. What we base our guesses on is really the reports of once-prisoners. But their working conditions are so miserable that I wouldn't be surprised if most of what they've told us were only half-true. The fact of the matter is, Captain, you're not the first to mention Romulans in the context of dilithium mining. Two weeks ago, an escaped prisoner told me just before he died from his wounds, that he actually saw a Romulan at the mine, he was working at. But he was delirious when he spoke about it, and since his description of the Romulan was rather obscure, and not entirely Romulan-like as far as I'm knowledgeable in xenobiology, I wouldn't be surprised that he simply saw things in his delirium. Nonetheless, it seems, we have to consider the option."

Beverly propped her chin on her hand thoughtfully "But then why do they need the Federation to get the technology for mining dilithium? If they already have a connection to Romulans - they have the means to mine the ore themselves!"

Juliana shook her head equally thoughtfully "The technology they use is not necessarily the same as the Federation uses. Mining under three thousand meters require a lot of equipment, and a lot of staff to operate it. Mining at around 10 thousand meters, where dilithium is normally found is even more difficult! It'd be a lot easier to do all this legally than trying to do it in secret. I would guess the selling prices can be higher too, if they don't require any assistance in mining the ore. It's a better bargaining standpoint."

The Captain pondered on what they have figured so far "So they get the technology from us, make it legal by changing the regime, and then trade the ore with Romulans. As crazy as it sounds, it's very logical. And so quite believable."

Earl shook his head clasping his fingers around his cup "Believable, Captain, except for the change in the regime. If I were you, I wouldn't wait for that standing on one foot."

To the puzzled expression of the Captain, Data offered the explanation already having heard the saying from Emma "It means that there'd be no point in waiting for that, Captain, it'd never happen."

"Thank you, Mr. Data, I guessed so." the Captain nodded with a tight smile. He then turned back to Earl "So you're saying that is also a lie?"

Earl nodded "He'll only play along with wanting democracy until he gets the technology in his hands."

"But the people!" Beverly cut in "Won't they be enraged that no 24th century technology can be used apart from the one used for mining?"

Earl smiled at her naiveté "The people are enraged only if the government wants them to be enraged. They're used to lies around them. Their stimuli threshold is amazingly high up where lies are concerned. And they won't know about it directly. There will be rumours, we will write about it in our paper - but that's an illegal source of information, so it's considered less reliable. The government'll just deny it all. They've become quite resourceful in finding something to divert the attention from their dirty business. The last time for example, when we wrote about the fact that the government trades with the Ferengi. There was a new wave of propaganda saying that there are shape-shifter aliens, which already infiltrated the colony. People paid attention to reporting each other to the police, instead of the hypocrisy of the government."

"You mentioned this to us." Picard looked at Emma who sat there slouching listening intently. She wordlessly nodded.

Beverly sighed almost exasperated "So then, what can we do? How can we prevent the Federation from falling into Premier Jones' trap?"

Picard shook his head "Not much without hard evidence. We cannot go back to Admiral McKinnley with our hunches and tell him that we met the leader of an illegal organization who told us rumours about Romulans. He'd laugh into our faces, or worse, he'd ask for the exact location of this place to use it as a bargaining chip in his negotiations with the Premier. No. We need proof. Irrefutable, rock-solid proof."

"We have to look around at the mines." Juliana spoke up in a determined voice. The others looked at her as she went on "If we find shallow seated deposits of the ore, we will at least have indirect proof of what we've been guessing here. And who knows what else we might find there..."

"Agreed." the Captain nodded "Mr. Mils, do you have the coordinates for the mines? We may take a look around."

Earl shook his head "I don't know the coordinates, but I can take you there, if you like. However, I'd rather recommend a visit there tomorrow. It's not a place like the city with lights everywhere. The entrance of the mines are guarded, and without knowing your way around, you could easily be caught. Tomorrow, I can lead you to the mines, moreover I can help you get in and snoop around a bit."

The Captain frowned thinking about it a little then nodded "Maybe even better if we don't beam there. The less people know about where we're going, the better. But are you sure, that you want to get so involved in this, Mr. Mils? If you give us a map-"

Earl's features hardened at that, and he didn't wait for the Captain to finish "A map won't suffice if you encounter something unexpected. I've helped freeing prisoners in the last years, I know the ways of the guards. And I can assure you, without knowing what you could be facing, you won't be able to improvise. It could cost you your lives."

The Captain seemed to concede as he nodded faintly.

After a moment of silence, Beverly spoke up "What about the Admiral? He'll start looking for us the latest in the morning, if we don't report to him, Jean-Luc." she told him troubled.

"You're right. One of us has to go back." he grimaced thoughtfully "Our cover story is that we're looking for Ms. Jones. She and Data surely can't turn up at the residence."

"Doctor Tainer is needed at the mines." Beverly added.

Earl looked at Juliana concerned "Are you sure? We could bring you samples, if you tell us what we need to look for. In the mines, there are harsh conditions: the air is hot and humid, and there are frequent rock slides - not to mention what could happen, if we get caught by any chance. I'd be a lot more relaxed, if Emma and you stayed here."

Juliana frowned at his protectiveness "Mr. Mils, I've been a geologist for the last thirty or so years, believe me I know more about conditions in a mine-site than any of you here. Thank you for your concern, but I'll definitely be going."

Earl looked over at Emma "What about you, little bird? Is there any way to talk you out of this?"

"Earl, I'm a Starfleet officer. It'll be fine." she smiled at him kindly.

Beverly winced "So it seems, I remained the only expandable figure on the chess-board." she shrugged looking around "And I suppose, it'd be unwise to simply beam back, I should somehow keep up the façade that we're still looking for you." she told Emma.

"Bev, I wouldn't want you to go around in the city all alone. The streets around here aren't the safest." Emma replied quickly and looked over at Picard.

The Captain sighed knowing he would have to let this mission go, if he wanted Beverly to be safe and looked over at Data "Mr. Data, it seems I'll have to leave this mission in your hands."

"Understood, Sir." the android nodded with a deadpan expression.

"Don't take unnecessary risks, just take a look around and get the hell out as fast as you can. Since you'll need to wait for the sunrise, make sure everybody is rested, there's no point in going there and fighting your own fatigue. In the meantime, Beverly and I will attempt to live up to our cover story: we'll stroll around in the city and report to the Admiral from time to time. Not the most interesting part of the mission, but creating a bit of a distraction is necessary to give you some leeway."

Emma and Data nodded their assent, and after some stirring, the company stood. Picard drew Data away for a word, while Emma did the same with Beverly.

Picard looked deeply into Data's eyes "Mr. Data, please don't take offence for what I'm about to say. There will be two civilians and a junior officer not used to away-missions in your team. Two of whom you care about a lot. If you have even the slightest doubt about your capability to handle this mission, tell me now, and we'll think of some other solution."

Data gazed away clearly hit by what the Captain had said then looked at him with a neutral expression "I'm perfectly capable of handling this mission, Captain. Though... I understand your doubts, based on my previous reactions of tonight." he told him on a slightly bemused tone - he was quite disappointed by his own performance of that day, and so he was not very sure of himself either. But to hear that his Captain was doubting him too... he felt a new emotion, he hadn't before: his pride was hurt.

The Captain raised his hands as he tried to clear up any possible misunderstandings "Data, I'm not doubting your abilities. I'm just saying that even someone more experienced in handling strong emotions might have difficulties in a situation you're about to face. If any of them is in any danger, you'll have to think with a cool head, I want you to keep this in mind. You can't afford to be carried away by your emotions. Just try to concentrate on the task at hand."

Data nodded as his heart sank "Understood, Sir." What if Captain Picard was right? What if something WOULD really happen to Emma or his mother? How would he handle that, if he couldn't even handle the fact that Emma was missing for a few hours?

Emma drew Beverly away to a darker corner "Bev, do you have some Complex-C with you?" she asked indicating a certain combination of vitamins and other drugs that usually senior humans would take at Earl's age on a regular basis.

"Let me check." Beverly looked around in her side-bag - she packed in it a lot more than a single tricorder "Here." she pulled out a hypospray "Is it for Mr. Mils?"

Emma nodded "Whenever the Resistance lays its hands on some of it smuggled in, he'd always give it away to others. Now, he's really thin, I don't think he eats well, and judging by his ice-cold hands, his circulation is not very good either. He's not well."

"Do you know of any illnesses that he suffers from?" Beverly asked concerned.

Emma shook her head "No, he's not sick, it's only the fact that he's over 70 in the 21st century." she walked over to Earl who stood there talking to the Captain and Data, and without much ado, she simply pushed the hypospray to the unsuspecting old man's neck and gave him a shot of the substance.

His eyes widened in surprise, he then frowned irritated: "What do you think you're doing?!"

"No arguing, Earl!" she cut him off with blazing eyes "Tomorrow, you'll need to be in top shape. Do you want to go there like 'Hi, all! Could I have a moment before you shoot us? I need to sit down to catch my breath!', or what? Here!" she pushed the spray into his palm "You take one more shot tomorrow morning. And stop grimacing! And rolling your eyes! And sulking!"

Earl looked at Data bemused "Have you ever tried to argue with her and won?"

Data looked away with a very uncomfortable expression - everybody was looking at him with raised eyebrows and repressed smiles "Well... I'm afraid I'll have to wait for such an occasion yet." he admitted silently, and the others laughed. Data raised his shy gaze to look into Emma's eyes cautiously. And as their gazes locked, the world grew silent and distant, and they remained all alone in the universe, as Emma's mock-sullen expression was betrayed by a slow smile.


	27. Chapter 27

After saying goodnight and good luck to the others, Emma wordlessly took Data up to her room and pulling him inside, she turned on the light. A soft, orange light shone warmly at the far end, leaving the other side of the room in an intimate semi-darkness. She closed the door behind them, while Data took a few steps inside and looked around curious. The room was on the top floor of the building and a wonderful view of the city could be seen through the tall windows running from the floor to the ceiling. She had a desk and a dressing table at the far end of the room, while a double-bed was standing right under the tall windows. The light barely reached that part of the room where the bed stood, the dark starry sky shone in on the blanket through the glass.

Emma watched as he was standing there in the middle of her large room. He seemed small and lost, if she didn't know better, she'd say he was tired. He must have had a difficult day too. She needed to drag him out of his blue.

She crossed to him and sliding her hand up his arm, she walked around him to stand opposite him. He seemed to tense up from the touch but then relaxed after a fraction of a second. She then slid her hands over his chest, where his jacket was open right over his heart and smiled up at him. He put his hands on her arms a little clumsily as if he was reluctant to hold her to him.

She looked over at him and frowned smiling, taking the sides of his jacket in her two hands and pulling them together to see it better "Now, what have you been doing, while I was not around? What is this? Were you ran over by a tram?" she asked examining the torn and dirty material.

He bowed his head looking at the material with such a troubled frown that Emma couldn't resist, and she poked his nose upward playfully with her fingers. She chuckled searching his surprised gaze, trying to make him laugh too, but he was just too wound up to laugh at the tiny practical joke.

He gazed into her eyes with a deadpan expression "No. By an automobile." he replied on a flat tone.

Her mouth opened in surprise "Ohmygosh..." she stuttered, but then turned her palms up where they were still resting on his chest, not being able to resist an apologetic smile "I-I know I should be asking, 'are you alright'? But the first thing that pops in mind is: were there any survivors in the car?"

Data rolled his eyes exhaling an impatient breath, let her go and just walked to the tall window to look out.

Emma watched him for a moment longer and could tell that he was not in the mood for jokes at all, but she tried one last time anyway "What a day, huh? You get hit by a car, get shot at and learn that you're living with a practising lunatic. Who'd envy you? It's a lot even for somebody exceeding human capacity, isn't it?" she asked smiling gently.

Data turned to her with an annoyed expression "The car did not manage to hit me, and it was Captain Picard who got shot at, but otherwise, no, it wasn't a particularly easy day. And for the last topic... it is definitely not a laughing matter. At least, not to me." he shook his head frustrated "Not that the others are."

Emma sighed grimacing as her good spirits suddenly left under his all-consuming gloomy mood "Alright, we're not in the mood for any teasing tonight." she acknowledged wryly then sighed "With your permission, Mr. Commander, I'd like to retain the privilege of making fun of my own mental state, if it's alright with you." He went on looking at her with his usual neutral expression - the one she hated so much, because she could always project something terrible into it. This time, there was hurt and confusion and maybe even fear.

She sighed resignedly and crossed to him again, putting her palms on his chest "Ah, just stop sulking already! I'm trying to lift your mood." she told him stroking him through the fabric of his jacket. She slid her arms around his neck and looked deep into his eyes "I'm so happy that you're here." she told him on a tender whisper and then standing on tiptoes she pushed her lips to his gently.

He wanted to pull away. He wanted to talk to her. To somehow reconcile their differences. But her soft body was pressed to his, her hot mouth was locked on his and, ah, did she know how and where to touch him to make him discard all his rationality. Before long, she stripped him of his torn jacket, and her hands travelled down his chest and abdomen to arrive at his pants. She was about to undo them, when he suddenly broke away and put a hand on hers, where it fumbled at his groins.

She gazed up into his eyes curiously, breathing heavily through her slightly open mouth "What is it?" she asked in a voice somewhere between a whisper and a moan, which made it even more difficult for Data to concentrate on anything else but undressing her...

He shook his head reluctantly "We... we should talk first."

She smiled and naughtily slid her hand over his groins feeling his body responding to her touch immediately "Isn't it enough that our bodies talk, Deadpan?" she asked in a hushed voice and reclaimed his mouth with hers. He responded with a grunt of pleasure, not being able to resist her, he pressed her hand where it was on his pants. She drew him closer, pulling his head down to hers as she went on kissing him passionately.

Then suddenly, he just pulled her hand away from him and broke away from her forcefully. He held her by the wrists holding them tightly in his fists. She watched him as he took a long, deep breath to calm his senses.

Her lips curled upwards in wonder seeing him struggling with his urges so mightily. Her gaze dropped from his eyes so hazy with desire to his still moist lips then locked her gaze again with his "Do you know how sexy it is that you're so strong-willed? That you can fight your desires even though I know how much you want this?" she asked trying to catch her breath and licked her lips - his taste was still there, and she felt herself turning even more on.

He stared into her eyes longingly for a few seconds then let her wrists go and took a step backward. He shook his head "No matter how much I want it. I'm not giving in, Em. Not until we spoke."

She took a long moment to answer "I know..." she whispered and then finally smiled faintly "Thank you." and there was a stunned edge in her voice. He gazed at her puzzled, and she glanced away gloomily, hugging herself, where she stood there by the window. "You know..." she began shrugging thoughtfully "I don't think many guys would try to discard their bodily needs, especially if the opportunity offers itself, just to straighten some stuff with their gals first. Most would just fall for it..." she told him finally looking back at him searching his eyes reluctantly.

Fall for it... Fall for what? The last remark left Data puzzled for a brief moment before, he gaped stunned as the realization hit him: "A test." he whispered "This was another test." Just as Doctor Crusher told him! He frowned as he felt anger welling up in his heart again "And I would have failed it, had I not been adamant about us reconciling first!" She just glanced away again, this time a little irritated hearing him getting angry - or was it just because he realized what it all was about even when SHE herself didn't quite comprehend what she was doing?

He stepped to her clearly very upset, making her look at him again "You keep doing this from the first moment we've met! You keep testing my bond to you: am I worthy of your trust? Is there ever going to be an end to your testing? Is there ever going to be a time, Emma, when I can finally feel just an ounce of trust from you? When you'd finally stop looking for opportunities to make me fail?"

She frowned now agitated too "Just stop this, will ya?" she told him and tried to step away from him, but he took her by the arm and made her stay opposite him.

He stared into her eyes trying hard to make her understand "I cannot always read between the lines, Emma. Most of the time, I can't even get jokes or the figurative meaning of what people say!" he told her in an ever more desperate voice "When you cuddle up to me, or kiss me, I'm not looking for other purposes you might have with that, I take it as it is: an act of affection! And you interpret my reaction into something I cannot even fathom."

She pulled her arm away forcefully "I'm not doing this on purpose!" she retorted "You know that I don't!"

"Then why? Why are you doing this, if you have no particular purpose with it?" he asked feeling his emotions again overwhelm him as a tremor ran through his body.

She pushed the fingers of both of her hands through her hair impatiently "I don't know! It's just because I'm screwed up, Data! I'm screwed up! That's all I can say." she told him exasperated feeling a catch in her throat. She dropped her hands with a long, shaky sigh.

He watched her for a moment longer and shook his head "This is not an answer." he told her bitterly.

She shrugged trying hard to stop herself from crying "It's the only one I can give you."

He shook his head again "It wouldn't be so, if you trusted me. If you really trusted me. Just a little. But... you don't, do you." he wanted to ask, but it became a statement. His voice was low and full of disappointment, and she felt her heart broke under it.

She looked into his eyes feeling her own filling with tears then she ran her hand up her arm glancing out of the window. That was it, wasn't it? What she'd always feared came true: he realized how incapable she was. She sighed. Even though she did trust him more than anyone... it wasn't enough - she wasn't enough! She wasn't even in the vicinity of what normal people were like and now, he finally understood... the way she'd always known he would.

She knew she had to ask the question. The inevitable. The one she'd always feared. But it was just so difficult. She couldn't look at him, she gazed out at the beautiful double-moons as she finally asked on a whisper "Are we... over, Deadpan?" her voice broke, and she quickly wiped away a tear. She already knew the answer. The only answer there could ever have been. She'd known this moment would come, from the first time she realized he took an interest in her - there could've been no other end to something as good as this in her life...

The question made him realize what a hard slap on the face could have felt like, though he never had the first hand experience. This was the very last thing he'd have expected her reaction would be! For an instant, he tried to imagine what it would be like to let her go - it was a peculiar realization, that he wasn't even able to picture that in his mind! He watched her standing there in the moonlight. She tried to seem strong, tried to hide how tortured she was by that single question, by her incapacity of trust. And in that moment, he realized he had to take the lead. He had to be the one more courageous. He had to be the one more trusting. To show her it was worth it. Because the only answer to that dreadful question he could imagine was a firm no!

He took a small step to her and gazed right at her "Is this another test?" he asked in a soft voice.

She chuckled tearfully and wiped another stray tear but didn't - couldn't - look at him. She shrugged, and her expression turned pained again. She didn't really know the answer, but then again it didn't really matter what he believed, if the outcome was the same: him walking out the door forever! She swallowed hard. Just leave already! Just leave. Please! she prayed, because she didn't know how long she could bear it without breaking down sobbing - but she just couldn't bring herself to say the words.

But the moments passed, and he didn't leave. He just stood there for a minute and then another and another, and finally started to speak in a silent, distant voice. "I was unfair to you." he started slowly. She shook her head wanting to protest, but she knew she'd just sob if she uttered a word, so she just went on staring stubbornly out the window. Her hands came up into tight fists on her crossed arms, and she bit her lower lip so much, it hurt. And he just kept going on "We had an agreement. I didn't keep myself to it. When I had to go to the court martial, I didn't tell you. My reasons were not right either. I kept telling myself that I just wanted to protect you. And I did! Believe me, I did! But it was just part of the truth... I-I was scared how you'd react. I was scared that you wouldn't understand."

She slowly turned her gaze to his and saw him standing there rigid, lost - and maybe even afraid. What was he doing? What was this confession? 

"I was scared because I thought you wouldn't understand why I'm so bound to the Enterprise, to this crew that I'd give up the one thing I've always coveted above all. I thought, you had the strength to give up your home. To change. When life required of you." he shook his head "I'm not as strong as you are... They are my family. The only family I've ever known. The Enterprise is my life. The only life I've ever had. I don't have the strength to give it up. At least not yet. And I was not ready to confess this to you. To you, whom I admired so much, that you were so brave that you could change your life. I didn't trust you. And when you shouted at me about it... you failed MY test. Just as I suspected you would. Even though you just tried to view my best interest, nothing more."

She stood there speechless, petrified. He went on timidly bowing his head:

"I never did it on purpose." he told her in a thin voice and gazed into her eyes turning his palms up "If this is what it means to be human..." he shook his head with a tiny tearfilled smile "I never ever thought it was this hard!"

She sighed and was about to tell him to just go, leave, because she didn't deserve him! He deserved someone so much better, so much... and then she realized it didn't matter. He - for some unfathomable reason - chose her. It was now her who HAD TO at least try to reach up to the heights she saw him climbing, almost flying to just now. She may fail, but she couldn't let him down by not even trying.

She wordlessly reached out and touched her hand to his taking it gently into hers, raising it slowly. She stepped close to him watching as their palms touched and fingers entwined. She then turned her head up and searching his gaze, slid her arm around his neck as he slid his around her waist. They stood there in the moonlight, holding each other petrified into the timeless posture of an intimate waltz. The way their journey began. She cuddled her face into his collarbone, and he buried his into her hair as she drew their entwined hands close between the two of them.

She sighed. Who am I kidding? I love this man. I'll never love anyone more... She shut her eyes and let herself be cuddled into the most tender embrace she ever was held in.

Data stood there inhaling her fragrance, touching his cheek to her silky hair, holding her so gently, he was filled by her presence completely, and he wished he could spend the rest of eternity with her like that.

She then pulled away slightly to look into his eyes - she wished she could tell him something, something big, something important! Like how amazing he was, how grateful she was for him - or that she did love him! But she felt words were just so inadequate, so meaningless, so small... and in that same moment, looking into his honest gaze reflecting the same emotions she herself felt, she understood why he never said the words. There were no words to express what they shared!

She just smiled then, her eyes sparkled against the darkness "We both owe each other a story. Now would be as good a time to tell as any, wouldn't it, Deadpan?"

He tentatively returned her smile and another tremor went through his body - his resources were almost completely claimed by his emotions. He nodded wordlessly, and she stepped out of his arms "Come!"


	28. Chapter 28

They were standing on the roof of the holo-disguised building, Emma put her lower arms on the wide ledge made of rough concrete and looked out on the view. Data stood at her side and watched her as she spoke. The wind blew a strand of her long hair into her face, and she swept it back behind her ear absently. The double-moons shone in her eyes, and Data dedicated a separately running processor thread to be able to simply admire the sight of her against the starry night.

"It all started... two and a half, maybe three years ago." she began in a calm, steady voice "I was just over my third miscarriage. Nobody knew why I kept losing the babies in the third month, and it seemed impossible to figure out the reason with 21st century methods. I had to accept the thought that if I wanted to have a child, I'd have to take the risk of losing another baby... It's a thought that can drive you crazy in itself alone... Partly because of it, my marriage was a complete disaster. We tortured each other on a daily basis. I was considering divorce, but whenever it came up, he somehow managed to convince me, that we could somehow work it out, and I just... didn't have the strength... and it started all over again and again and again... I hated my job. I had to give up acting years before, when the movie industry collapsed. I was a doctor at the local hospital and watching people die of sicknesses that I could have cured, had I have the means... It was slowly eating away at me. The last straw was Earl. His son died and he... he crossed over to the Resistance. Before that, he was working for them, but after it, he completely gave up his daily life for them. It meant we had to say goodbye - neither of us knew for how long..." she trailed off as she considered how to go on.

Data contemplated whether he should ask the questions that had been on his mind ever since he got to know Earl. When he saw that Emma was carried away by her thoughts, he decided that this could have been as good a moment to ask as any.

"Who exactly... is Earl?" he asked reluctantly.

She seemed to snap out of her reverie - and seemed to be relieved by it. She smiled and shrugged only looking at the view "He used to be my agent. He... he became my best friend. The only person I could confide in with my marital problems." she looked at him finally and saw that he stood there with a slightly uncomfortable expression, as if he wanted to ask something, he didn't quite feel confident about.

She smiled "Oh, come on... you know you may ask whatever you want."

"I know, it's just..." he shook his head, she was right - he looked into her eyes and asked finally "Were you and him... did the two of you..." Her eyes widened in surprise, and he immediately backed off "Forgive me my prying... it's really none of my business."

She smiled "Oh, silly!" she turned to him fully "You know it IS your business." she gazed away thoughtfully "I think in the beginning, if I have given him the slightest of signs, he'd have understood and taken the opportunity. But I've always considered him the father I never had. And he understood and accepted it. He never crossed that imaginary line we drew at the beginning. Ever. He's a gentleman." she looked at him again "And now, I think, neither of us would want it in any other way than it is now."

"It is similar to the way I consider Doctor Crusher and Counselor Troi then. I confide in them the way you confide in Earl without feeling any kind of attraction toward them." he mused trying to find a comparison.

She smiled faintly "Exactly." she turned back to the view.

After a moment of silence, he decided to encourage her to go on "I'm sorry for the interruption. Please continue."

She sighed "Yeah, that's what I'm supposed to do... I just wish I knew how..." she shook her head a little and fumbled in the pocket of her coat. She drew out a small sachet and looked at it thoughtfully. Data stood there gaping, shocked, knowing exactly what he saw in her hands. She finally went on, but looked only at the white stuff in her hand, her voice was low and grim "It's called Chrystal. A colleague of mine at the hospital gave it to me first, when he saw how sad I was. Told me, I'd feel better... would find my REAL self again..." she looked out at the view, and the chilling wind blew into her hair, sweeping her long strands out of her face "The first time... I felt... beautiful..." she shook her head with a faint, helpless smile "Pathetic, isn't it? As if that was the one thing missing from my life... From the life of a celebrated actress... Later on, I understood, it simply wiped my inhibitions away... And I wanted more! In a matter of weeks, I hit rock bottom. I just couldn't stop. I was so lost, so alone, so helpless that there was no reason... I found no reason to talk myself out of buying another shot and another... It lasted three months. I admit there are things I don't remember... It was hell... And what I woke up to was another form of hell as well." she grew silent again, and Data could see how lost she was in her memories. He couldn't stand to watch her so tortured. He reached out and took her hand into his.

Emma looked at him shocked for a moment, then turned fully to him and let him put her hand to his chest. He made her feel his heartbeat through the fabric of his thin shirt, and she felt a catch in her throat at the sensation. He was there. So warm, so alive! With her. She wasn't alone. She took her hand out of his, reached up and stroked his cheek gratefully. They stood there with their gazes locked for a long moment before she turned back to the view, opened the small sachet and let the wind carry the white, sparkling powder away into the darkness. Finally, she let the sachet go with the wind too.

After a moment, she went on "Ed couldn't afford a wife who was an addict. He rather put me into a mental institution, claiming that I had a nervous breakdown. I was fairly popular even years after I quit acting. People were asking questions after I crossed to the Resistance. Of course, he couldn't admit that the wife of one of the highest ranking government officials is now working for the Resistance! THIS was his cover story throughout. For two years, he convinced the people that I simply went mad... His popularity flared! The poor guy who kept on being faithful to his beloved, deranged wife - as if we were in some lousy gothic novel!" she laughed a hollow laugh and then shrugged "Earl got me out of the nuthouse. The last Starfleet officer on the colony helped him... Amery... he was the nicest, most good-willed person..." her face again grew grim and her voice full of bitterness "He got shot in the head as we ran for the car... I barely remember anything of my escape I was so delirious of the drugs I had been given... but I do remember how his... brain was smeared on the wall next to us... how his blood just flowed out of the hole on the side of his head... Earl grabbed me and dragged me to the car... the sun shone so brightly, I had to cover my eyes... and I was so cold in that thin hospital gown I had on, I thought I was gonna freeze... and the blood dried very slowly on it, very slowly... I trembled, Earl shouted..."

Data watched her with growing shock and agitation. She seemed so lost in her memories, as if she was reliving them the way he had when HE was having flashbacks from his abduction by the Borg. He reached out and gently took her two wrists in his hands the way she used to, when she had helped him through his own horrible memories and stroked her skin with his thumbs.

She looked up at him with confusion in her eyes, and then a faint, grateful smile curled her lips upward "It's okay, baby..." she breathed in a distant voice "My emotion-chip is off right now. I don't feel a thing. Not a thing..."

He let go one of her wrists and raising his hand to her face, he tenderly touched the tips of his long fingers to her cheek as he told her in a soft voice "As much as it is fascinating that you are able to understand how I was before my emotion-chip, as much as I feel helplessly attached to you because of it... it's not right, if you dismiss your feelings. You told me so, and now I'm telling you in return."

She gazed into his eyes for a long moment, then reached up for his hand and took it in both of hers. Shutting her eyes, she kissed his knuckles tenderly. He wished so much to just kiss her and wish her past away! No logic or rationality was there in that wish, but he came to be used to having less rationality concerning her by now. But this time, he knew, he just had to let her talk, and listen for now.

She opened her eyes and letting his hand go, turned back to the view. She put her lower arms on the ledge holding on to her upper arms with her hands and then smiled thoughtfully "It was not me... That piece of wisdom is not coming from me. It's from my therapist, Gabriel. We met at the Resistance... I suppose Earl asked him to help me, because he could see that with all my marital traumatization AND a drug problem, I really hit rock bottom, and he probably had no idea how to deal with this all by himself. I was skeptical first. But... Gabriel helped. As much as he could. As much as I could be helped." she again trailed off, and after a long moment of silence, he knew he had to push her on.

"Where is he now?" he asked silently.

"Dead." she told him simply not looking at him "Died when the hospital we worked at was raided... It tore me to pieces... I never admitted to him but I... I was in love with him for a little while at the beginning of the therapy. When he died, though that platonic love had gone long ago, he still meant a lot to me." another pause came, but suddenly, she sighed and seemed to go on in a stronger voice "He viewed the world so innocently... Pretty much the way you do - though..." she smiled and glanced at him "...your innocence is extreme at times..."

"You really think so?" he asked a little confused.

She smiled thoughtfully "You - as much as Gabriel did - believe that humans are inherently good. You admire them, want to be one of them. He refused to believe that Epsilonians deserve what they brought upon themselves." her voice became surprisingly hard.

"Do you not?" he asked stunned.

She turned to him and looked straight into his eyes "I do not." she told him firmly "I think they all deserve what they get from the leaders they elected, in the society they chose to be part of. As much as I deserve all that has happened to me for all the poor choices I've made in my life." she told him with blazing eyes, but somehow he knew she was not angry at HIM.

He frowned shocked at this "Even if you know that these people are being misled? Even if you know that your husband misled and mistreated YOU? Are you so unforgiving even to yourself, even to the people I know you love, that you cannot forgive those poor choices? That you cannot see that NOBODY, not you, not the Epsilonians deserve being abused the way you were abused? I know you're not so short sighted, Emma. I know because I know you."

Her lips curled upward at this, and she looked at him with appreciation for an instant, but then she rolled her eyes in mock bemusement "Yeah... This is why I say, the level of your innocence is in the extreme region." she could see that he was not sure how to react to this, and she went on with a more heart-felt smile "And this is why I say, you're the best person I've ever met. By far better than ANY human I've ever met." she turned back to the view to her previous posture leaning on the ledge "Forgive me for saying this, but... I hope you'll never achieve what you want, and would never become completely human. And that you'll remain the perfect being you are right now." she felt her first emotion since she'd recalled the story of her escape from the mental institution - and she was not surprised that THAT first emotion was fear. She knew she'd hurt him with this, and with all their differences... she might as well lose him on that single statement.

He was shocked at first, but then thinking about it, he came to the conclusion that Emma simply met the wrong people throughout her life. She just needed to spend time with people like his crew on the Enterprise, and she'd change her mind. He reached out and swept her long hair back behind her shoulder. She turned her head shocked at the tender touch and gaped as she saw him smiling. She turned to him fully as he smiled "And I hope that I WILL achieve what I wish, one day. Now, I got one more reason to hope for it! Because if I did, then there would be one human who would have the chance at restoring your faith in your species."

She stood there gaping watching him as he mimicked her previous posture and leaned to the ledge looking out over the city.

He was just so amazing! So trusting! So... so attractive, she smiled in admiration involuntary as she was watching him. The wind had no chance at blowing even a strand of his perfectly combed hair, but it did move the ends a little behind his ear. She swallowed the urge to cuddle up to him and start kissing his neck and ear - they had a lot more to discuss! So she leaned to the ledge next to him and looked out on the view too.

After standing there in silence for a few more moments, finally Data spoke up in a silent, reluctant voice: "Em..." She turned her head to look at him, and he went on seemingly very unsure "Why... why did you have this drug here with you?"

Emma smiled realizing how worrying it might have seemed after listening to the story she'd told him. She shook her head "Not because I wanted to take it, baby." she reassured him in a gentle voice. She sighed and turned back to the view "You see, I knew that Ed wanted to make sure that 'his chérie' is the same insecure, vulnerable gal I used to be, while I was his wife. I needed to convince him that I was."

"So when you saw us talking, and you became upset, it was all part of this plan?" he asked trying to understand it.

She shook her head "No. I WAS very upset. But then I thought about it, and realized that this was an opportunity that might never return to prove myself to you. I wanted to prove to you - to all of you - that you CAN trust me, and that I do trust YOU. Not Starfleet with admirals like Uncle Seth. But you, the crew of the Enterprise. This is why I led you here. The other reason was that I knew that Ed would have had me followed. So I did what he expected me to do after seeing me so upset: I went to buy some Chrystal to comfort myself. I knew his thugs would be following me. I also knew they wouldn't want to take me back to the residence. They were coming after me only to report to Ed whether he was right in his hope that 'his chérie' was still as lost as he had made her with years of hard work."

Data nodded thoughtfully "I believe I understand now." They looked into each other's eyes, and Emma smiled relieved. Data went on in a curious voice cocking his head "Was this the reason behind the fact that you didn't want your husband to learn about us? That you want to deceive him into thinking that you're alone and fragile?"

She turned to him and shook her head with a gloomy expression. He held her gaze slightly confused as she took a moment to answer "No, Data. I just wanted to protect you." she answered silently.

"Protect ME?" he asked opening his eyes wide, surprised.

"Yeah..." she shook her head again and seemed to be embarrassed "I know that if he learns that you're important to me, he'll hurt you. One way or the other." she sighed frustrated "I needed you here with me, I think I'd go mad, if you weren't here. But somehow I need to try to protect you."

He looked a little taken aback by this reasoning. He never felt he needed protection from any human not having a degree in cybernetics, and it was strange to hear that SHE felt she needed to protect him. Especially, that she was a fragile human whereas he was a sturdy android - even if he needed protection, how would she be able to provide it? Anyways, it was a moot point: "Emma," he began and took her hand gently in his "it doesn't matter anymore." she looked up at him worried as he went on "He already knows that you're important to me - or more precisely the fact that we're important to each other... I believe it might have been apparent without saying a single word to each other. And I don't think it's a bad thing. Whatever his or anyone else's reaction may be, it doesn't matter. I don't want to hide from anyone."

She squeezed his hand and gazed into his eyes almost desperately "I know, baby, I know! I don't want to hide either. But I wouldn't be able to live with myself, if you got hurt because of me!"

He looked at her smiling apologetically "Em, no one on this planet can hurt me. They don't have the means. Bullets can't do any damage to me - well, apart from tearing the bioplast, see?" he held out his palm to her to show her the cut that the bullet he'd caught before it could hit Picard left on his hand. She frowned stunned and took his hand into both of hers leaning closer to his palm. She seemed to be studying his hand or the wound on it for a long moment, then she slowly raised a hand and brushed a gentle finger over the metal visible under the bioplast.

"So this is how you look inside?" she asked on a whisper gazing only at the wound almost as if she was mesmerized by the moonlight sparkling in it - on the metal.

He suddenly felt really self-conscious. She might have been okay with knowing that he was a machine, but SEEING it...

"Are you made of metal?" she asked stroking the wound again - she was surprised that the metal was as warm as his skin.

"Yes. Mostly." he answered in a low, embarrassed voice.

She finally turned her gaze up to meet his, and he was surprised to find that it reflected pure curiosity "How can you be so soft?" she asked almost with the innocence of a child asking her Teddy bear about what he was made up of.

He smiled embarrassed - AND relieved - and glanced away before locking gazes with her again "Are you sure you'd like to discuss how my endoskeletal structure is constructed, right at the moment?"

She blinked realizing it was really not the best of times "Oh, maybe some other time..." she nodded letting his hand go embarrassed. She sighed and leaned over the ledge again. He watched her as she looked out over the view. She sighed and shrugged "Well, Deadpan, your turn now." she said without looking at him "Don't think you'll get away without telling me YOUR story."

He sighed a little uneasily as he leaned on the ledge too "I know, however I'm somewhat uncertain about telling it to you." they locked gazes again, and to her questioning look, he went on a little defensively "I-I'm not reluctant about telling you, because I don't want to. I'm reluctant because I'm afraid that several aspects of this story might do further damage to your already somewhat wavering faith in humanity."

She snorted and chuckled waving her hand "Oh, don't ya worry about THAT! There's no faith that could waver anyways." he looked away uncomfortably as she asked "But just stop beating around the bush and start already!" He sighed gazing out over the view as she went on "Who's this Doctor Maddox you mentioned? Everybody seemed pretty distressed only by hearing the name, yet you seem to trust him, so what's the deal with him?"

Data glanced at her uneasily but then started to talk "Well... For you to understand the situation, I will need to start from almost thirty years ago. When I first applied to Starfleet Academy, Bruce Maddox was the only member of the committee to object to my acceptance... on the basis that I am not a sentient being."

Emma frowned and opened her mouth to say something, but Data tried to ignore her reactions, so he could get over the story as quick as it was possible. He leant his lower arms on the ledge and just went on.

"There was a long debate, and a lot of tests, and finally, I WAS accepted. In essence, it was rather an experiment on the part of Starfleet as I understand. I was a unique life-form, they wanted to see how I would perform and how far I would advance. However, the question of my sentience was not settled at this time. I always knew that the lack of a legal decision in this matter WILL come and haunt me later on. Over a year after I started serving on the Enterprise, Maddox paid a visit. By that time, he became the foremost cyberneticist of the Daystrom Institute, and had all the power, influence and prestige he needed for an experiment he wanted me to take part in. Or more precisely, to be the subject of." he grew silent to think about how to go on.

Watching him so lost in his memories, Emma felt a cold chill slowly climbing up her spine: "What did he want?" she breathed finally.

He sighed and gave a short glance at her, trying hard to ignore her worried expression "Well... To phrase it as simply as possible... he wanted to take me apart."

"What?!" Emma barked gaping, wide-eyed. Did she just hear him wrong?!

Data let out a long breath "He was having trouble with fully replicating the design my father used, when he had built me. So he wanted to take a look inside. A very... close look inside."

"As if you were some sort of a doll?! Or experimental guinea pig?!" Emma asked now fully agitated.

Data finally took up the courage to turn his head to her. His face was pleading, and Emma understood that it was hard enough for him to recall these memories without her getting hysterical. So she decided to retreat for now:

"I-I'm sorry..." she said feeling her cheeks burn, but she was not sure whether it was from embarrassment or from her suddenly racing heart drumming so hard in her chest "Just don't let me interrupt. I'll try to be shocked as silently as I can." she told him clearing her throat.

Data nodded "Thank you." missing the bitter humour in her sentence. He turned back to the view "It was obvious that I would have had to do as he said. He was my superior officer, and Starfleet duty required me to obey. It was a form of service, if you wish... Finally, Captain Picard helped me fight the decision of the JAG officer of the Starbase we were staying at the time. He convinced Captain Louvois to have a legal hearing, where I can defend myself - or somebody of my choosing can have the possibility of doing it for me. Due to the fact that the base was new, there was no staff, so Captain Picard defended me, and Commander Riker prosecuted the case."

"Riker?!"

Data shook his head "He had no other choice. Captain Louvois would have summarily ruled against me, if there had been no hearing, and without prosecution... there could have been no hearing." he looked at her now with THAT neutral expression she knew so well - she didn't dare to try to guess what she could see in his deep, unreadable gaze this time... He went on turning back to the view, and Emma got the impression that it must have been easier to talk without watching her reactions. He went on "Later on, when I utilized the emotion-chip, this hearing was one of the hardest experiences I ever had to cope with emotionally... It took me a few weeks to be able to talk to Commander Riker without constantly thinking about him... reaching behind my back and turning me off."

"What?! He did that? He-he turned you off?!" she asked again agitated - her previous promise of staying calm forgotten.

Data glanced at her slightly pleading "He had to prove that I'm a machine. He did prove it the most convincing way possible." he didn't want to go into any further details of Riker's questioning at the hearing. For him, the fact that his arm was taken off was a lot less shocking experience than it must have sounded to a human. His body parts - even his head - were detachable and most of them replaceable in some way. But for a human, he could tell, especially judging from the reaction of Captain Louvois, that taking body parts off of an entity was not something entirely casual or easy to shrug off by a human.

"I understand, but... ohgod..." she shook her head shutting her eyes for a long moment. She tried to imagine what she would have done in Riker's place, if the only way for her to protect Data would involve hurting or betraying him in some way... Well... she would have simply taken the third option instead of choosing from the two possible ones. She'd have just kidnapped him and have him run as far away from the Federation as they could - but then again, she didn't have the same bond Data had with Starfleet AND the Enterprise. Easy for her to contemplate THAT as an option...

"The final ruling was a bit obscure. I was given the right to choose. But no decision was made on my sentience NOR was it entirely proven that I am a sentient being. I did formally refuse to participate in Maddox' experiment. By the end of the hearing, he seemed to change in his opinion about me. He started to use the pronoun 'he' instead of 'it' when talking about me, and in general, he seemed to treat me more like he would treat a human. Without emotions, it was quite easy for me to rise above his previous treatment of me or the events of the legal hearing. I WAS actually interested in his advancements of cybernetics, so we corresponded for quite a few years... Up until I started to utilize my emotion-chip... when I started to be so afraid of him, as if he was a convicted murderer." his voice became low and grave - he did lose a kind-of friend simply by having emotions, because he just couldn't fight them, they were so deep seated.

Emma watched him for a moment longer confused "But you did invite him to do the procedure to remove your chip..."

Data looked at her again and this time held her gaze "Yes, because of two very simple reasons. Firstly, my sentience is not in question anymore. Last year, I had the matter legally settled for good with the help of Captain Picard AND Captain Louvois based on the legal hearing of eight years ago. Now, I am a full citizen of the Federation with its benefits and responsibilities, meaning that nobody can injure me without facing the same consequences they would face, if they injured an organic being of the Federation. Secondly, the procedure of converting my emotion-chip to be removable is far beyond the cybernetic capabilities of Geordi. He is an exemplary Engineer, but not a cyberneticist, and Maddox knows the Soong design the best. In the strictest technical sense, I trust Maddox the most. I also know that for Geordi, this procedure would mean that he is dissecting his own best friend. I cannot let him go through such an ordeal - a similar one Commander Riker had to go through for me."

"I see..." she sighed thinking about all that she'd heard. Still there were some missing pieces of the jigsaw. "What about the court martial?" she asked as he gazed into her eyes "Why were you court martialed in the first place, if you're a citizen of the Federation? Aren't you entitled to have emotions just as any organic being is?"

"My rights as a Federation citizen were never in question during the court martial, Emma." he shook his head pondering "I believe there's not a lot that you don't know about the court martial itself already. Starfleet Command read the reports of Counsellor Troi, and decided on an official hearing. During the hearing, it became obvious that I've made several severe breaches of the rules and regulations by utilizing the emotion-chip without consulting with the Daystrom Institute first, so it was decided that I'd be court martialed."

Emma frowned "Consulting about what? If you ARE considered a full, sentient citizen of the Federation, what do they have to do with all this? This is your life, your decision, your emotions." she asked feeling again that strong urge to protect him.

Data looked at her pleading "Understand, Emma. It is not about my right to have emotions! It's about the fact that emotions change me thoroughly. The emotion-chip affects my judgment, my abilities, my resource utilization, therefore it affects my performance as a Starfleet officer. My rank as Lieutenant Commander was given to me based on my performance unaffected by emotions. It IS reasonable that they're doubting my abilities, especially based on how I was performing after my abduction."

She stared at him feeling desperation welling up in her "You speak as if you believed all these things too!"

Data shrugged almost apologetically "Because they are true, Em." She gaped shocked, and he shook his head frustrated "Even if I believed even for a second that they were wrong... today was proof enough that they were right!"

"Why, for god's sake?!"

Data hung his head "I was so upset about you running out on me... I couldn't think clearly. I wasn't even in the vicinity of that! I completely misjudged your reasoning, and it was mere luck that I found your note - even though you left it at the most straightforward place for me to find it. On top of this all, I was ready to... to confront Admiral McKinnley even in a physical manner, when he provoked me and the Captain. My mind just went completely blank, I just wanted to... I don't even know what I wanted to..." he breathed finally very ashamed of his unbecoming, out of character behaviour.

She shook her head frustrated "Uncle Seth is a son-of-a-bitch! Don't judge yourself by your reaction to what he says. He's always been like that. When I was a child, and he came to us as a guest, he took pleasure in teasing the life out of me. And teasing is not the correct word for what he was doing. Teasing should be at least funny. But he actually wants people to be hurt."

"I understand, Emma, but I clearly overreacted whatever he was saying. I can tell because Captain Picard remained calm." he explained turning his palms up seeming very convinced by the truth of his words.

Emma rolled her eyes "He's such a stone-faced, stone-skinned guy, no wonder he could stay calm. But you are different, you're sensitive..."

"Yes!" he told her cutting in "This is exactly the problem. Me as a person CAN be sensitive, but me as a Starfleet officer, as a Lieutenant Commander cannot."

They stood there gazing into each other's eyes for a long moment. She had to admit, he had a point. And it was just crazy that this whole injustice had a point! She shook her head letting a long, frustrated breath out and gazed out on the view seemingly giving in to his reasoning. But deep in her heart she knew she would never be able to accept this. Ever. She sighed wistfully "This is just so unfair..." she told him silently in a breaking voice surprising herself more than him by the sudden tears that ran to her eyes. She quickly blinked them back wiping her face and sniffling.

He watched her for a moment longer and couldn't help but felt grateful for her tears. And strangely enough he felt, he wished he could cry too! No tears came, but he had to admit he'd felt like crying his eyes out ever since this ordeal had begun! He never dared to let himself, because it was all so irrational, even pathetic, knowing that Starfleet was essentially right! Still right at the moment, he felt very much like giving himself over to this irrational grief... And was there any reason not to? Tonight he'd already discarded most of what remained of his trademark hyper-rationality. He nodded frowning slightly "Yes. Yes, it is unfair." he whispered almost as if he was ashamed to say the words.

She looked at him stunned - he had never expressed any negative emotions regarding how he was treated, or mistreated by Starfleet or anyone else. He gazed out on the view as his words almost stumbled one after the other as he tried to tell her something he'd never dared to voice aloud to anyone before, including his own self "I know you think I'm generous and..." he shook his head looking for words "I know you think I don't hold grudges. And I really don't, it is just... I'm aware of the fact that... were I a human... life would be much... much less complicated... and... and I know you think I accept the ruling of the court martial - and to a certain extent I do! I even agree! But... I agree only rationally. Because... even though it's difficult to live with them sometimes, I... I got used to my emotions, and I like having emotions... I like the person I've become by them, more than I like the person I used to be before... And I feel it's unfair that... after overcoming all these problems, all these difficulties... I'll be deprived of them, without being given the slightest chance to prove myself worthy of the very rank I hold." he turned his head to her, and a desperate expression appeared on his features "Is this ego? ...Because if it is, then it may as well be alright that I'll be able to use my emotion-chip less - I don't want to become someone like Lore..."

She gaped shocked at this: she knew about Lore. He'd told her about him, and she knew how scared he was about the fact that they were almost identical - he was constantly afraid of becoming his evil brother. And she knew this fear was so deep seated that she barely had any chance at convincing him that there was no way he would ever become Lore... But she had to try so she put her arms around him gently, comfortingly. He let her and held her close for a moment before she pulled away a little and locked her concerned gaze with his confused one. "Babe, ego and being totally egocentric are two completely different things. Ego is just fine, believe me. It gives you self-confidence, and that's one thing that you need more than anything! Taking pride in your achievements or being upset about an injustice against you doesn't warrant that you'll become unscrupulous like your brother." she sighed "Do you believe me?" she asked in a thin voice seeing his skeptical expression.

Data looked into her eyes with a surprised small smile - she seemed so anxious for him to feel better. The thought was comforting in itself. He nodded reluctantly "I believe I have to admit, that there is logic in your reasoning. But somehow..." he frowned thoughtfully "...somehow again, my emotions don't correlate with whatever logic dictates."

She smiled reassuringly at that "Well... you might already have achieved what you wished for! Because that's actually very human..."


End file.
